A small tradition between me and my best friends is to sit around the New Year's table and think about our resolutions for the upcoming year. It started as a joke at first—everyone dreaming about things that seemed impossible. But somewhere along the way, we started taking it seriously, and now it's become something genuinely meaningful.

Every New Year's Eve, we each write on a piece of paper what we'd like to achieve in the coming year. Then we discuss them. Why do we want this? What does it mean to us? What are we hoping will happen? Through this ritual, I've come to understand how important it is to have goals—and how much harder it is to actually achieve them than it sounds.

Because here's what nobody tells you about New Year's resolutions: most of them fail. Not because the goals are wrong, but because of how we approach them. The good news? Once you understand why resolutions typically don't work, you can set ones that actually do.

Why Most Resolutions Fail (It's Not What You Think)

Let's start with the uncomfortable truth: research suggests that only about 9% of people who make New Year's resolutions feel they successfully achieve them. By the second week of January—sometimes called "Quitter's Day"—most people have already abandoned their goals. By February, roughly 80% of resolutions have failed.

But what's interesting is that the problem usually isn't motivation or willpower. The problem is how we set the goals in the first place.

Most resolutions fail because they're too vague ("get healthy"), too ambitious ("completely transform my life"), or disconnected from our actual values ("lose weight because I should"). We pick goals based on what we think we're supposed to want rather than what genuinely matters to us. We set targets without systems. We rely on motivation, which is fleeting, instead of building habits, which are sustainable.

The solution isn't to abandon resolutions altogether—goal-setting genuinely works when done right. Studies show that people who explicitly set goals are 10 times more likely to achieve them than people who don't. The key is setting the right goals in the right way.

Before You Write Anything Down

Before jumping into specific resolutions, take some time to reflect. The goals that stick are the ones that genuinely matter to you—not the ones that sound impressive or that everyone else is setting.

Consider what phase of life you're in. This helps you set realistic goals. Yes, it's nice to dream big, but some things don't happen overnight. You can't build a business empire or completely reinvent yourself in twelve months. You can take meaningful steps in that direction. Your expectations need to be grounded in your current reality—your responsibilities, your resources, your constraints.

Ask yourself: are these goals actually yours? This matters more than you might think. Pushing yourself toward something you don't genuinely want leads to frustration and burnout. If a goal doesn't align with your actual desires—if you're pursuing it because you feel you "should" or because someone else wants it for you—you won't sustain the effort required. Even initial success won't last. Think about what you really want. Say it out loud. That's what's worth fighting for.

Identify what's holding you back. Before setting new goals, consider what prevented you from achieving similar ones before. What are you scared of? What's standing in your way? Sometimes the obstacle isn't external—it's a limiting belief or an unprocessed fear. Discussing these barriers with someone you trust can help you think more clearly. After talking through what's holding me back, I always feel closer to overcoming it.

Remember: other people's opinions don't determine what you can achieve. Many people will have doubts about your goals. That doesn't mean you need to listen to them. Your resolutions can stay in your journal. Not everyone needs to know what you're working toward.

A Framework That Actually Works

Once you've reflected on what genuinely matters to you, it's time to structure your goals in a way that sets you up for success. Here's a framework that combines the best research on goal-setting:

Make it specific.

"Get healthier" isn't a goal—it's a wish. "Exercise three times per week" is a goal. "Save money" is vague; "save €200 per month" is actionable. The more specific your goal, the clearer your path to achieving it. You should be able to look at your goal and know exactly whether you've done it or not.

Focus on systems, not just outcomes.

An outcome goal is "lose 3 pounds." A systems goal is "go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday." Outcomes are what you want to achieve; systems are how you'll achieve them. The problem with focusing only on outcomes is that you can't directly control them. What you can control is showing up and doing the work. Build the system, and the outcome takes care of itself.

Start smaller than you think you should.

This is counterintuitive but crucial. If you want to start meditating, don't commit to 30 minutes daily—commit to 2 minutes. If you want to read more, don't pledge to read a book a week—pledge to read one page before bed. Small commitments are easier to keep, and keeping commitments builds the identity of someone who follows through. You can always increase the difficulty later. The goal at first is just to not miss.

Attach new habits to existing ones.

This technique, called "habit stacking," dramatically increases your success rate. Instead of "I will meditate," try "After I pour my morning coffee, I will meditate for two minutes." The existing habit (pouring coffee) becomes a trigger for the new one. Your brain already has neural pathways for the existing habit—you're just adding a small extension.

Plan for obstacles.

Research on "implementation intentions" shows that people who plan for obstacles in advance are far more likely to overcome them. For each goal, ask yourself: What will get in the way? How will I handle it? If you want to exercise in the morning but know you'll be tempted to hit snooze, put your workout clothes next to your bed the night before. Anticipate the friction and reduce it in advance.

Popular Resolution Categories (And How to Approach Them)

Most resolutions fall into a handful of categories. Here's how to set yourself up for success in each:

Health and Fitness

The most common resolution—and the most commonly abandoned. The mistake is going too hard, too fast. "Go to the gym every day" becomes zero days by February. Instead, commit to a frequency you could maintain even on your worst week. Two days are better than zero. Find movement you actually enjoy—if you hate running, don't make running your goal. And remember that nutrition, sleep, and stress management matter as much as exercise.

Financial Goals

"Save more money" fails because it's not specific and because it relies on willpower in the moment. Instead, automate your savings so the money moves before you see it. Set a specific amount. Track your spending for one month before setting targets—you can't improve what you don't measure. Consider the 50/30/20 rule as a starting framework: 50% needs, 30% wants, 20% savings.

Career Development

"Get promoted" or "find a better job" are outcomes you can't fully control. Focus instead on inputs: update your LinkedIn profile this month, have one networking conversation per week, complete one skill-building course per quarter, ask for feedback from your manager. These actions are within your control and collectively increase your odds of the outcome you want.

Learning and Personal Growth

"Read more books" becomes "read 10 pages every night before bed" or "listen to audiobooks during my commute." "Learn a new language" becomes "complete one Duolingo lesson daily." The key is building the habit first, at a sustainable level, and then expanding once it's automatic.

Relationships

These goals often get neglected in favor of more measurable ones, but they matter enormously for wellbeing. Be specific: "Call my parents every Sunday," "Have a device-free dinner with my partner twice a week," "Reach out to one old friend per month." Relationships require consistent small investments, not occasional grand gestures.

Mental Health and Wellbeing

"Stress less" isn't actionable. "Meditate for 5 minutes each morning," "journal for 10 minutes before bed," or "take a 15-minute walk during lunch" are specific practices that contribute to reduced stress. Consider also what you need to stop doing: reduce social media scrolling, stop checking email after 7 PM, limit news consumption to once daily.

How to Actually Stick to Your Resolutions

Setting good goals is only half the battle. Here's how to maintain momentum throughout the year:

Track your progress visibly.

What gets measured gets managed. Use a habit tracker, a calendar with X marks, a journal—whatever works for you. The visual record of your consistency becomes motivating in itself. You won't want to break the streak.

Build in accountability.

This is why my friends and I share our goals with each other. When someone else knows what you're working toward, you're more likely to follow through. Find an accountability partner, join a group with similar goals, or simply tell someone you trust. Regular check-ins help you stay on track.

Expect setbacks and plan for them.

You will miss days. You will fall off track. This is normal and doesn't mean you've failed. What matters is how quickly you get back on. The research calls this the "what the hell effect"—one slip leads to total abandonment because people think "I've already ruined it." Don't fall into this trap. Miss one day, get back on track the next. Never miss twice in a row.

Review and adjust quarterly.

Your January goals might not make sense in June. Life changes, priorities shift, and that's okay. Schedule quarterly reviews to assess what's working, what isn't, and what needs to change. Goals aren't set in stone—they're tools for directing your effort, and tools can be refined.

Celebrate small wins.

Don't wait until you've achieved the final outcome to feel good about your progress. Completed your first week of workouts? That's worth acknowledging. Saved your first €500? Celebrate. Small celebrations reinforce the behavior and make the journey more enjoyable.

Permission to Be Human

When the year ends, and my friends and I sit down to review our resolutions, not all of them have been achieved. Some years, most of them haven't. And you know what? We laugh about it. We don't need to be disappointed.

Here's something I've learned: the point of resolutions isn't to create a perfect scorecard. The point is to be intentional about your life—to think about what matters to you, to try to grow, to aim for something better than where you started. Some goals you'll hit. Some you won't. Some you'll realize weren't the right goals in the first place.

The person who sets ten resolutions and achieves three has still achieved three things they might not have otherwise. The person who aims for a big goal and gets halfway there is still halfway further than they were.

Goals need motivation, faith, and work. But they also need grace—the willingness to try, to stumble, to adjust, and to keep going anyway.

So make your resolutions. Write them down. Share them with people who matter to you. And then do your best—knowing that your best will look different on different days, and that's okay.

Related Reading

More on mindset, goals, and personal growth:

How to Stop Making Excuses (And Why Your Brain Keeps Creating Them)

Time Management Tips That Actually Work

How to Stop Overthinking Everything

Self-Discipline: How to Build It