For years, honestly, I felt like a tumbleweed. Blown this way and that by deadlines, other people's expectations, and the endless scroll of social media. My days were full, often frantic, but when I paused (usually collapsing onto the couch at the end of a long day), a nagging question would whisper: "Is this it?"

Does this sound familiar?

Maybe you've felt that, too—the sense of being busy but not necessarily fulfilled, of ticking boxes but not truly living in alignment with what matters most. And even though you are so busy, you still feel idle.

That's when the idea of intentional living gently nudged its way into my awareness

If you are thinking about the concept of intentional living, just imagine you're planning a road trip. You wouldn't just hop in your car and drive without a plan, would you? You'd probably have a destination in mind, maybe even a few stops along the way. You'd pack your bags, grab some snacks, check the map, and make conscious choices about where and how to get there.

Living intentionally is like that road trip, but for your life. It's about consciously choosing your direction, packing your values, and navigating your days with purpose instead of just letting the current carry you.

This "Aha!" Moment

My turning point didn’t involve any kind of drama. It was a slow burn of dissatisfaction. I was successful in my career and had lovely friends, an amazing family, I was out and about, but I felt… disconnected. I was saying "yes" to everything, afraid of missing out (yeah, FOMO is a thing), and consequently, I was stretched thin and feeling resentful. My weekends? A mess. A blur of catching up with errands and obligations, leaving little time for the things that genuinely made me happy, like spending quality time with loved ones or getting lost in a good book and a soul-warming beverage. Instead, I was trying to fit everything into two days, resulting in feeling drained and annoyed because I was doing things I didn’t actually enjoy, just because -I thought- I had to.

So, on one particularly draining day, staring at a grocery list that needed to be accomplished, aka driving to the grocery store, I came to a sincere realization: I was living on auto-pilot. I wasn't actively choosing how I spent my precious time and energy. I was reacting to the demands of life instead of designing it.

That's when I started exploring the idea of intentional living

I have already heard about the concept of intentional living, since one of my favorite things to do is listening to podcasts from psychologists and coaches, and I always had the feeling that living intentionally would be like “slowing completely down” and doing yoga all day. So, it felt a bit intimidating at first, like adding another "to-do" to my already overflowing list. However, when I started reflecting a bit more about it and trying to understand what intentional living actually is, I realized it wasn't about more doing but about more being—being present, conscious, and aligned with my inner compass—with or without yoga. After all, I am a Pilates girl.

The "How" is simpler than you think

The most important thing to understand is that the beauty of intentional living is that it's a personal matter. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. It's about figuring out what resonates with you, your lifestyle, and your needs. Let me share what I did and how I managed to make my life a little bit more intentional.

I identified my values

This was the first and most crucial step for me. I grabbed my notebook (yes, I love writing; it keeps me off the laptop, and I practice my writing skills which are about to be obsolete) and asked myself some tough questions:

• What truly makes me feel happy and fulfilled?
• What principles are non-negotiable for me?
• What do I stand for, even when it's uncomfortable?
• What kind of person do I want to be?

My answers weren't earth-shattering or somehow radical. Words like "connection," "creativity," "growth," "genuineness," and "simplicity" kept surfacing. These became my guiding principles, against which I started to evaluate my choices.

For instance, my norm before would be to agree to every social invitation out of a fear of missing out. Now, when an invitation comes, I check it against my value of "connection." Will this genuinely allow me to connect with people I care about, or will it be another draining obligation that will take valuable time from what I want to do? If it doesn't align, I feel more empowered to decline politely.

However, a trap here is to think that valuable time means “me time.” Valuable time could be spending your afternoon with a fun friend that makes you laugh and avoiding a more crowded event that won’t help you personally or professionally. It doesn’t mean you cut all ties with the external world just because you need to spend time with yourself. Do it when you feel it. The point is to acknowledge what connections make sense for you and pursue them, not going around without any particular purpose.

Setting intentions, not just goals

Since I was in my 20s, just before the end of each year, I used to write the following year’s resolutions and look back on what I have accomplished so far. Goals are great, but intentions go deeper. They're about the why behind the what. Instead of just saying "I want to lose weight" (a goal), an intention might be "I intend to nourish my body and feel more active and energized." The intention focuses on the underlying value (health, well-being) rather than just the outcome. I started setting intentions in different areas of my life. For instance, regarding my relationships, my intention is to be present and actively listen when spending time with loved ones, and not just have small talk every day because I’m busy. At work, I intend to focus on tasks that align with my skills and contribute meaningfully to the business/team/company. That means that I started working on the things I was really good at, and I delegated the ones that someone more capable could do and tasks that could help me, my business, and my colleagues. This way, my work became even more enjoyable. Also, I focused on my personal growth, aka I set an intention to dedicate time each week to learning something new.

Instead of just scheduling "working out" three times a week, my intention became "to move my body in ways that feel good and energizing." This shifted my perspective from a chore to an act of self-care, making it much easier to stick to. Sometimes it's a stroll, sometimes it's spending an hour of stretching on my reformer –the "how" became less rigid, but the "why" remained strong.

The gentle art of protecting your energy

One thing that I inherited from my mom, which was tough to acknowledge and accept, was the “people-pleaser” syndrome. However, even if it was a bit late (in my early 30s), I realized that saying "yes" to everything unconditionally meant saying "no" to myself and my priorities. Learning to politely decline requests that didn't align with my values or intentions was unbelievably liberating.

Some time ago, an acquaintance asked me to join a board of my city that I knew would be a significant time commitment and would require a significant amount of my time. In the past, I would have totally agreed and would feel extremely pressured and overwhelmed to fulfill my duties, ending up resenting the time that I engaged in that. However, I took a step back, thought of my intention, and politely rejected the offer while thanking them for it. So far, so good! It felt uncomfortable at first, but the relief that followed was immense, and I keep following the same strategy every time something similar occurs; does it fulfill my current needs? Will it make me regret it for accepting? If the answer is yes, then I don’t do it. That simple.

Everyday mindfulness

Intentional living seldom involves big decisions and significant changes. Small moments matter. Intentional living means paying attention to your morning coffee and enjoying the silence (or the noise if this is your vibe!), having dinner with your family without the TV or laptop turned on, or putting your phone aside when you take this Pilates class.

Before implementing the intentional living in my everyday life, my mornings were in a complete rush. I usually overslept, and then I woke up in a panic mode where I rushed through everything, scrolling through my phone and replying to emails, messages, and calls while gulping down coffee. Now, my intention is to have a more mindful morning routine. I put my phone away, focus on my coffee, and maybe spend a few minutes reflecting on something positive, setting the day's intention, or simply enjoying the quiet. This slight shift has made a huge difference in how I start my day – I feel calmer, more grounded, and more appreciative. And my mood is usually better!

Don’t forget to adjust

Life isn't static, and neither should your intentions be. I started incorporating regular check-ins with myself. I'd revisit my values and intentions in order to make sure they still align with me. For instance, goals can change, or some areas can be left out of sync. Sometimes, we focus on something, and then we need to readjust our intention and prioritize other things. After a few months of focusing heavily on my career, I realized I was neglecting my value of "connection." I missed my peeps, my family to whom I haven’t been paying attention. This prompted me to intentionally schedule more quality time with friends and family, rebalancing my priorities. And it was equally rewarding to my work experiences. Also, it’s ok if you put some extra effort into one aspect of your life; the point is not to stay there forever. If you are chasing a promotion or you are in the middle of a huge deal, then it makes sense to shift your attention there. If you feel your personal life needs more focus, move it there. Whatever you do, do it intentionally, and don’t feel pressured to prove yourself to anyone.

Small changes for a bigger impact

The main essence of living intentionally is cultivating awareness and making conscious choices that lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. It's about moving from being a passive recipient of life to an active participant in shaping it according to your values and needs. It’s taking off autopilot and finding the reason behind your actions. Living intentionally can help you reduce stress, be more productive, and spend your time how you want and with the people you want.

It's an ongoing journey where challenges and course corrections are expected. And, to be fair, I didn’t manage to live intentionally within a day or a month; there are days when I still fall back into old habits and go back to autopilot mode. However, now I have the awareness to understand when I deviate and then I come back to my intentions.

If you feel like you're also on autopilot, caught in the wind of life, I encourage you to explore the possibility of living intentionally. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic change; it can be small but conscious steps towards a life that truly reflects who you are and what you value.

You can start by asking yourself those tough questions, then listen to your inner voice, and begin to design your own beautiful and intentional journey. I’m sure you will feel much happier and more fulfilled.