Workplace challenges are part of our work life. Unless you are a monk in Tibet, you have definitely faced some kind of challenge, either with the workload or with your colleagues.

Some issues and challenges that arise are usually beneficial since they make you stronger and help you evolve professionally and personally. Others just never seem to exist, and you choose not to pay them as much attention as they are not fundamental or impact your performance; others can be extremely challenging and make you not want to work anymore.

That said, a few situations can be as perplexing and frustrating as working under the supervision of a passive-aggressive manager. Dealing with a passive agreessive manager can be exchausting and case ruin our motivation to work effectively.

A passive-aggressive behavior is a no-no in every aspect of our lives. However, when those people are in the same workplace, where we don't usually have a lot of chances to block them from contacting us, things can get really nasty and overwhelming, especially when it comes to being our managers or supervisors.

How to Recognize a Passive-Aggressive Manager

While on the surface, passive-aggressive people may appear polite and agreeable, beneath that facade lies a world of subtle hostilities, unspoken resentments, and indirect communication.

Let's first understand what passive-aggressive behavior means. A passive-aggressive behavior can be described as a behavior where someone indirectly expresses disapproval, anger, or other negative emotions without talking directly to the interested person.

Still, on the contrary, they express these emotions in indirect ways, which usually make the other feel uncomfortable and frustrated. For example, passive-aggressive behavior could be if someone agrees to carry out a task and then complain and get really whiney about it. Or if someone has to attend an event or a meeting that they initially didn't want to and they show up late or do not participate as they should have.

Some red flags that someone expresses passive-aggressive behavior are:

• They resent or oppose others' instructions, even though they follow them;

• They delay a task that someone requested, or they make intentional mistakes while carrying it out;

• They express their opinion sarcastically;

• They use the "silent treatment" method: your manager may ignore you, avoid eye contact, or give you the cold shoulder;

• They take actions that undermine your work or success;

• They make you feel guilty or responsible for issues that are not your fault;

• They discreetly challenge or undermine decisions made by the team or higher-ups without offering constructive alternatives;

What to Do if Your Manager is Passive-aggressive

Unfortunately, working with a passive-aggressive manager can be soul-sucking and emotionally grueling since it's a behavior that cannot be identified and exposed easily, and it's not always clear whether your HR Department can take immediate action over this unless you are very specific on what the issue is.

However, there are some steps you can take in order to protect yourself from these behaviors and be able to focus on your job and your tasks without the constant "fight or flight" feeling that such behaviors can put you through.

Stay Calm

It's important that in situations where you have to deal with a passive-aggressive manager, you remain calm and not fly off the handle. When passive-aggressive behavior targets you, you need to try not to react emotionally to this behavior and remain composed. This way, you will show your manager that you are not going to get down this road and that their inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated. If you lose your grip, they win. By staying calm and showing professionalism, you are more likely to make those behaviors stop targeting you.

Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is highly important and can be very beneficial in the workplace. If your manager shows passive-aggressive behavior, try to have an open and direct conversation with them where you can express your concerns about their behavior and ask for clarification on their expectations and your performance so far. A passive-aggressive person will usually deny your allegations and probably try to undermine what you feel, but a conversation is worth being scheduled.

Clarify Expectations

Ensure you have a clear understanding of your job responsibilities and any changes in tasks or goals. Seek written clarifications and try to have everything on record since passive-aggressive managers can turn a conversation towards their benefit. If you are prepared to have such behaviors in the future, you can show them their written expectation setting, which will help you prove your point.

Set Boundaries

People with passive-aggressive behavior usually act this way because they do not respect boundaries, and probably nobody has set boundaries for them before. For this reason, it is important, as part of an effective communication strategy, to set your boundaries and communicate them to your manager. Be politely assertive and establish boundaries for acceptable behaviors. People tend to neglect boundaries because the person who sets them does not actually respect them. If, for instance, you have once said that being late at your meetings is something that you do not accept, next time that somebody does that, be assertive and remind them that this is not an acceptable behavior on your part and don't even hesitate to step out of the meeting.

Keep a Written Record of Incidents

Keep a record of any passive-aggressive actions or comments. Write down every passive-aggressive behavior, including the place, time, and context in which this took place. If there are any witnesses around, like other colleagues and managers or even clients, keep a record of them as well. This can be useful if you need to escalate the issue later to your HR Department, and you will also have a full record of their behaviors.

Discuss the Issue with Your Trusted Colleagues

Don't stay isolated from your colleagues; discuss with them and even ask them if they face similar problems with their manager. Share with them your experience and ask for support when you are targeted by your manager. In most cases, if a person shows passive-aggressive behavior, it is not limited to one person. This way, you will have supporters and people you can count on who would be willing to testify in case this is escalated to the upper management and the HR Department.

Involve HR or Higher Management

If the situation doesn't improve or becomes unbearable, consider discussing the issue with your HR department or a higher-level manager. Provide your record as evidence and ask for their support. Passive-aggressive behaviors should not be tolerated in the workplace, and the HR Department should immediately investigate the issue.

Keep in mind that serious companies that take their role in society seriously always opt for their employees' well-being. Do not let such behaviors jeopardize your professional future as well as your mental health and work-life balance.