One of the biggest fears I had in my life was failure. It has always been an obstacle for my development and I dreaded the time that I would fail, whatever fail meant in the particular time: I feared that I would get a bad grade at school, I feared that I would be reprimanded for not being able to tidy my room on time, or I was terrified every time I had to deliver a project that they would return it back, giving me feedback that I failed. What a life, huh?
However, no matter how hard we try, failure is inevitable, and it’s almost certain that we will face it sometime in our lives, whether it’s something important like failing a language test or something small, like failing to keep your promise to a loved one about something.
Failure is generally considered a negative outcome, and most of us think it’s unnecessary. However, the fear of failure can be even more destructive and have a more severe impact on our lives. The fear of failure hides feelings of low esteem and increased anxiety that can worsen if we don’t accept the fact that we will fail at some point. Perfectionism and lower productivity are also common situations caused by our fear of failure.
However, if we take a step back and reflect on failure, then we can have one of the greatest teachers. Learning to accept failure can help us turn it into a powerful tool for self-improvement and personal growth that can lead us to success (add whatever you think of success for you here).
Failure often makes us feel inadequate, but in reality, it is proof that we tried. Failures help us learn, evolve, and ultimately find new ways to achieve our goals. Think of the most successful people: Their failure was not the end, but the starting point for something bigger.
Take Oprah Winfrey as an example: most people know her as one of the most iconic faces on TV and one of the richest and most successful women in the world. However, her road was not all roses since she faced a lot of challenges throughout her route, from a rough and often abusive childhood and numerous career setbacks, including being fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for TV.”
Also, another terrific example of using failure as a powerhouse for success was Merilyn Monroe, an inspirational person still considered one of the most influential women on earth. While Monroe’s star burned out early, her great success is indisputable. However, Monroe experienced a rough upbringing, and she was told by modeling agents that she should instead consider being a secretary. She didn’t give up, though; she became a pin-up model and actress and despite her sudden and early death, she is still relevant.
And if you are not yet convinced about the importance of embracing failure, then remember what you used to watch on TV when you were a kid: Disney, right? Could you ever imagine how your childhood would be without Disney movies? Well, I guess you couldn’t. However, what is worth mentioning is that Walt Disney himself had a bit of a bumpy start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” After his firing, Disney started several businesses that didn’t last too long and ended with bankruptcy. However, he never stopped and he found his recipe for success.
And what did he think of failure?
It's perfectly normal to feel frustrated after a failure. But instead of trying to ignore these feelings, accept them. This is the first step to moving forward. The goal is NOT to never be disappointed again -because it’s inevitable that you will- but to learn how to manage disappointment effectively. Life has ups and downs, and you cannot completely predict or control the future. Nobody can guarantee you that you won’t fail again, but the earlier you acknowledge that, the more effective it will be to embrace your emotions and move forward.
Every failure you experience is always an opportunity for you to learn something. Disengage yourself from the situation (which will be easier when you acknowledge and accept your feelings) and try to see the situation from a distance. Then, analyze what went wrong. Was it a lack of preparation, the wrong approach, or external factors you could not control? When you understand what happened, you will be able to avoid the same mistakes in the future. For instance, if you failed to deliver a project on time, you can sit and jot down all the factors that contributed to the failure. Did you manage the expectations of the stakeholders properly? Did you hire the right people for the right job? Maybe there was an unexpected delay that couldn’t be controlled. Write those down and understand what happened and what you could have done differently. Next time, you will be prepared.
As a general advice, keep in mind that people before us have probably made the same mistakes and have equally failed. For this reason, it’s very helpful to learn about them, their failures, and how they managed to turn them into success. Study the stories of those people who succeed despite their failures and get inspiration from them. Countless people have failed, yet they turned it into successful and profitable businesses. From Steve Jobs to Winston Churchill to J.K. Rawling and Abraham Lincoln, great leaders and innovators faced many failures before they succeeded. These stories can inspire you to keep going.
Every failure is an opportunity for a new approach. That said, after learning from your mistake, make a new plan and try again. Also, notice the pattern every time you fail. Do you follow the same steps? Do you keep moving based on a specific strategy? Maybe the problem is that you do not change your plan and strategy and fall into the trap of not recognizing the cause of failure.
Failure is inevitable, but what really matters is our reaction to it. Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity and keep trying. The more we learn to embrace our failures, the more we develop resilience. Never forget that failure is not a sign of weakness, but a step towards growth.