From the moment we leave our protected home environment as kids, we make friends with other kids, and this happens throughout our lives. Making friends is one of the key elements of socialization.

Friendships are the cornerstones of our lives; our friends are our source of laughter, support, and fun

They are the people we turn to when we have problems or when we want to share exciting news about anything. Some think our friends are “the family we chose.”

But like all things in life, sometimes friendships change or fade away. Maybe you've noticed a shift in your once-close bond with your friend. Maybe lately, your usual weekend adventures are now met with scheduling conflicts and busy weekdays. Priorities seem to have changed, and finding common ground feels like an uphill battle. Sharing personal achievements no longer elicits the same enthusiasm, and you find yourself confiding in others instead. Conversations that flowed effortlessly now feel strained. Not to mention texts that used to ping back and forth instantly now take days to get a response.

The hard truth is that relationships sometimes are hard to maintain, no matter how many years they count. People change, priorities change, and, therefore, people who were in your life forever now seem to not fit in your social circle anymore. However, this change doesn’t happen overnight; the signs are there, and the red flags appear day by day to remind you that something is not the same anymore.

It’s never easy to accept that you may have nothing in common with a friend or don’t enjoy their company as much as you did in the past, but recognizing that can help you move forward with healthier connections, whether this change is a recent drift or a long-term simmer.

Here are the 10 red flags that show your friendship is not the same anymore:

A Lack of Empathy

Empathy is the cornerstone of a friendship. A friend should be able to understand and share your feelings. If your friend consistently overlooks or invalidates your emotions, it may be a sign that they don't care about you as much as they used to. If you notice that your friend doesn’t take your concerns seriously or just doesn’t listen to you, they probably don’t care about being in your life anymore.

Constant Criticism

Our friends are usually the people we turn to for advice and discussion about our lives. They listen to us and help us objectively see another point of view.

However, healthy friendships involve a balance. That means a good friend will celebrate your successes and offer support during challenges without judgment or criticism. If your friend focuses solely on flaws, overlooking your strengths and accomplishments, that means that they are more judgmental than they need to be. Regardless of your effort, it can feel like you can never do anything right.

Constant criticism might take the form of comments on your weight, outfit choices, or even how you handle everyday situations

Friends should be able to give each other constructive criticism, but if your friend constantly puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, it's a sign of a toxic friendship.

They're Jealous of Your Success

In a healthy friendship, your wins are their wins. They're genuinely excited about your achievements, whether they are big or small. But a jealous friend might downplay your success or even try to minimize your accomplishments. Their response might be a lukewarm "Oh, that's nice" or even a dismissive joke, leaving you feeling confused about why you can't share your happiness.

True friends celebrate each other's wins without feeling the need to compete

Also, a jealous friend might constantly try to "one-up" you. For instance, if you get a promotion, they might dwell on a past achievement of theirs, or if you land a dream vacation, they might suddenly mention their own upcoming (albeit less impressive) trip. The focus shifts from genuine support to a need to prove themselves better. Constant jealousy can create a toxic dynamic in the friendship which could lead to making you hesitate to share good news, fearing their negative comments or response.

They're Not There for You During Tough Times

A true friend is someone who is there for you through thick and thin. If your friend is always too busy or flaky when you need them, it's a sign that they may not be as invested in the friendship as you are. A true friend is a shoulder to cry on, a cheerleader during life challenges, and a reliable source of support. If your friend consistently flakes out or avoids you when you're going through a tough time, it speaks volumes about their commitment to the friendship. Life gets busy, but a true friend makes an effort to be there, even if it's just to listen offer empathy, and try to understand what you're going through.

You Can't Be Yourself Around Them

Friends should be able to relax and be themselves around each other. If you feel like you constantly have to walk on eggshells around your friend, it's a sign that the friendship isn't healthy. Friendships are a safe space to be your authentic self, quirks and all. If for instance, you find yourself holding back your jokes or opinion for fear of judgment around this friend, then this is a sign that the friendship is not working as it should. This constant self-editing can be exhausting and prevents genuine connection. A healthy friendship allows for open communication and playful banter. You shouldn't pretend to be someone else around someone who truly cares about you, should you?

They Violate Your Boundaries

Boundaries are the cornerstone of every relationship. Setting boundaries lets us create a healthy space with the people around us. They define what we're comfortable with and what's not. That said, a friend who respects you will understand and acknowledge your boundaries, whether needing personal space or having clear communication about what kind of support you need. Everyone has boundaries, and friends should respect them. If your friend constantly crosses your boundaries, it's a sign that they don't respect you or your friendship. If your friend knows that you have a busy and challenging week at work and they pressure you to go out or get annoyed if you skip plans, then something doesn’t work. Or, if they share personal information you confided in them with others then check the red flag is flapping about your friendship.

They're Gossipy or Two-Faced

Given that friendships are built on trust, you should feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, feelings, and secrets with your friends, knowing they'll be kept confidential. If your friend constantly gossips about others, this is something that creates a sense of insecurity since you never know if you'll become the next topic of conversation -behind your back.

The Effort is One-Sided

Friendships are a two-way street, so if you're the only one who is ever putting in the effort to make plans or stay in touch, it's a sign that the friendship may be over. It's not just about the number of interactions but the connection quality. Sure, some friendships require less frequent contact due to busy lives. But even in those cases, there's a sense of mutual care and interest. In a one-sided friendship, the quality suffers - conversations feel forced, and there's a lack of genuine interest in your life. When you're the only one putting in the effort then you might start to question why you're the only one invested in keeping the friendship alive.

You Don't Have Anything in Common Anymore

People change and grow over time, and it's natural for friends to drift apart sometimes. If you and your friend no longer have anything in common, it may be a sign that the friendship has run its course. Conversations become strained and one-sided, and your interests are not the same as those of your friend. Shared experiences and interests are the glue that keeps friendships strong. This doesn't mean there's any blame or fault. As you evolve, you might find yourself drawn to new people who share your current interests. There's space to cherish the friendship's memories while acknowledging that it may no longer serve your current needs for connection.

You No Longer Don't Enjoy Spending Time Together Anymore

This is perhaps the most important sign about the future of your friendship. Friendships should be a source of joy and laughter. They should energize and uplift you and make you feel good everytime you communicate with your friends. That said, if you have a feeling of obligation rathen than excitement when you spend time with your friend, then maybe you don’t enjoy this friendship anymore. Forced conversations, awkward silences, or a general lack of enthusiasm for get-togethers are common signs of loss of interest. This shift from looking forward to catching up to actively avoiding connection signifies a troubled friendship.

Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don’t offer you what you are looking for.

True friends enrich your life and make you feel good.

If a friendship consistently leaves you feeling drained or unhappy, it might be time to prioritize connections that bring you joy and support.

Don’t forget that letting go of a friendship doesn't have to be dramatic. It can be a gradual shift, focusing your energy on nurturing more fulfilling connections. You can acknowledge the friendship's role in your life and move forward with a sense of peace.