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Everybody enjoys a cool Netflix drama, but what about a real-life one? What happens when drama gets into your daily life, and you end up acting like a Hollywood star but without the spotlight?

The term “drama queen” is widely used to describe someone who tends to exaggerate emotions, create unnecessary drama, or overreact to situations. The "queen" part of the phrase likely comes from the idea of a queen being a dramatic and attention-seeking figure, which is inaccurate because it applies to both males and females.

While life can be challenging, and undoubtedly, everyone experiences ups and downs, certain behaviors can be associated with a tendency toward drama and can be extremely overwhelming and frustrating for the people involved.

Do you find yourself at the center of emotional whirlwinds? Do your relationships often feel like a rollercoaster ride? If so, you might be exhibiting some classic signs of a drama queen. While a bit of flair can be fun, excessive drama can strain relationships and be an obstacle to your personal growth.

Being a drama queen can be exhausting and can create problems not only for the… queen but also for the people around them. Apart from the fact that drama can be emotionally draining for all involved, it can create severe stress and anxiety and, therefore, compromise our mental health.

Drama can damage relationships with friends, family, and partners. Frequent exaggerations and fabrications can erode trust because “how many horrible things can happen within one day?”. When someone compares every minor inconvenience to something tragedy-like, inevitably, others won’t show trust, and the drama queen’s credibility can be seriously damaged. Let alone when we talk about the workplace environment, where drama can disrupt workflow and decrease the team’s productivity while creating tensions.

So, if you think you show any of the signs below, maybe it’s time to take a big breath, acknowledge that life is not an endless drama, and evaluate your life accordingly.

Exaggerated Reactions

You tend to overreact to minor issues. A small inconvenience, like a spilled drink or a delayed train, can feel like a major catastrophe. A person who is addicted to drama might throw a tantrum, blame others, and refuse to continue with the day instead of calmly cleaning up the spill or waiting for the next train.

Frequent Mood Swings

A drama queen's mood swings can be dramatic and unpredictable. They might be overly enthusiastic and optimistic one moment, only to become deeply sad or angry the next. For example, they might be overjoyed about a small success, but a minor setback could lead to self-doubt and negativity. These rapid shifts in mood can be confusing and disruptive for those around them. If you feel like your mood is controlled by every minor thing that is happening in your life, and running out of milk can destroy your calm and pleasant day, maybe you are prone to drama.

Constant Validation Seeking

You constantly need reassurance and approval from others. This can manifest in different behaviors, such as frequently asking for compliments, opinions, or approval on even the most minor decisions. For example, if you ask a friend to confirm if your outfit looks good or seek approval from your partner before making a minor purchase, then maybe it’s a sign that you are attracted by the drama in your life.

Victim Mentality

You often see yourself as the victim, blaming others for your problems. People with a victim mentality, especially when it comes from past trauma, unconsciously seek validation and help from others. They play the “poor me” card consistently, which can generate compassion and support from others. Also, people with a victim mentality avoid taking risks and blame others for everything happening, even though they are clearly responsible. If it’s never your fault, then it’s the drama speaking within you.

Black-and-White Thinking

You view situations in extreme terms, with no middle ground. For example, a slightly delayed dinner might be seen as a complete failure of hospitality, or a minor disagreement with a friend could be interpreted as a major betrayal on their part. There are no gray areas in the life of a drama queen. A prevalent sign is to jump to extreme conclusions without taking into account the context. If your friend cancels dinner because she feels sick, you immediately consider this an enormous faux pas for your friendship.

Constant Complaining

You frequently express dissatisfaction and negativity. Everything around you is made just to annoy you. You may have the ideal job, but you still have something negative to say about it. You are on vacation, complaining about the lines at the museum, or because your order arrived late. Well, life happens; drama doesn’t have to. And if you find yourself feeling the urge to complain about everything, then it’s time to acknowledge the drama queen in you.

Gossiping

You enjoy sharing negative information about others, and the best part of your day is spilling tea about a friend. Well, drama queens love gossiping and spreading information that has nothing to do with them. They may share rumors, exaggerate stories, or reveal private information to damage someone's reputation. For example, they might gossip about a coworker's personal life or criticize a friend's appearance behind their back. This behavior can damage relationships and create a harmful setting in the professional and personal environment.

Blaming Others

A drama queen often avoids taking responsibility for their actions and blames others for their mistakes. For example, if a project fails, they might blame their team members or external factors rather than acknowledging their own contribution to the problem. Or, if a relationship ends, they might blame their partner for all the issues, refusing to acknowledge their own role in the breakdown. This tendency to shift blame can damage relationships and hinder personal growth.

Argumentative Nature

A drama queen enjoys engaging in arguments and debates, even when unnecessary. They might argue over minor details, challenge others' opinions, or pick fights for no reason. For example, they might argue with a waiter about the quality of the food or debate politics with a stranger on a bus. This tendency to argue can create tension and conflict in relationships, making others' lives insufferable when they have to deal with them. A good argument is always welcome, but when it’s unnecessary, it causes mental exhaustion.

Attention-Seeking Behavior

A drama queen often craves attention and will go to great lengths to be the center of attention. They might share overly personal details about their lives, exaggerate their experiences, or create dramatic situations to garner sympathy or admiration. For example, they might post overly emotional social media posts, engage in public displays of affection, or start arguments to draw attention to themselves. This constant need for attention can be exhausting for those around them and can damage relationships.

What To Do?

If you recognize yourself in some of the above situations and are willing to let the drama out of your life, the following advice could help you increase your self-awareness and emotions.

Practice self-control

Step back from a situation and try to see it more logically. Is it that horrible that you missed the train? Especially if the next one is 3 minutes away. Also, put everything in perspective. What is the worst that could happen, given that you missed the train or spilled the coffee on you? Well, nothing in particular. When you understand that sometimes the Earth will keep going around the moon whether you miss the train or not, you will minimize your tendency to overreact in minor situations.

Be open to change

Let go of the need to be right and be open to changing your perspective. Every person is reacting differently in every situation per their experience and way of thinking. Trying to stick to your guns all the time can be exhausting and hinder your communication with the people around you. Also, your friends, family, partners are not machines, they are normal people, they work overtime or they get sick. It’s not the end of the world if you miss a dinner. This is life, move on and ask your friend if they need some soup!

Be an observer

Not everything needs a reaction. Speak less, listen more; you have time to see and sidestep the drama. We know it can be frustrating listening to someone having a different opinion than you, but imagine how the world would be if everyone agreed with each other? Dull, probably. Next time you can’t keep yourself from expressing your opinion and getting into an argument, count up to 10 and try to think why that person thinks this way. This may help you understand more. In the meantime, congratulate yourself for skipping the drama today!

Consider therapy

When we can’t control our emotions and tend to overreact when we encounter even the most insignificant situation, maybe therapy is our only solution. Therapy will help you understand your triggers and will encourage you to work with yourself to eliminate such triggers and acquire more self-awareness. The more self-aware you are, the better you can control your emotions and reactions to a particular situation. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help us identify dramatic thinking and develop a more balanced perspective.