Most people enjoy having a daily routine, sticking to a plan, being organized about what needs to be done, and working according to a schedule. On the other hand, some of us can experience extremely uncomfortable feelings when something does not go as planned or intended.

I have worked both as a freelancer and as an employee, and now as an employer, which means that I have always been in positions that required both time management skills and good organization and planning.

Thus, I still cannot imagine what happens when things do not go according to plan. It makes me mad, sick, and nervous and can ruin my whole day or even my entire week.

This is the time when I realized I am -indeed- a borderline control freak. It's not something deadly, but it can certainly make your life at least challenging, not to mention it can ruin your relationships -professional and personal.

But what exactly is a control freak?

A control freak is generally speaking a person that want to have control over pretty much everything.

So, a control freak:

• Needs everything planned and organized
• Feels anxious or lost if something does not go as planned
• Strives for perfectionism
• Sets exceptionally high standards for self
• Delegating is not in their vocabulary
• Feels easily let down by people
• Cannot relax even when not working
• Expresses irony and criticism towards others

Why is it wrong to have the constant need to control others?

Sure, one might say, since they are happy being able to control others, why stop being a control freak? The key element to this question is that, among the majority of people around, no one wants to be controlled, and they often do not respond well when controlled.

So a control freak could quickly get into a conflict; thus, the work does not get done, and the control freak loses their mind.

Also, let's face it; most things are out of our control, and the constant need and attempt to control everything can be exhausting and pointless; so it creates more stress, conflict, and hard feelings.

When we are controlling, the people in our life suffer as well. When we control others, we can become very opinionated and judgmental of others. Thus, arguments, emotional distance, and hurt feelings are common phenomena.

Emotional stress is strongly associated with perfectionism and the need to control everything. Emotional stress can cause physical problems and emotional problems as well: Headaches, neck or back pain, or even feeling depressed or anxious.

How to kill your inner control freak

The battle to kill our inner control freaks can be challenging and needs determination as well as some key steps:

Realization.

It's funny, but most of us are not self-aware. It is difficult for someone to understand and accept the negative aspect of their personality. What you can do is notice and write down your controlling behaviors. This way, you will be able to develop an alternative response in situations where your inner control freak is awake and ready to go on the offensive.

Find the reason of this particular behavior.

Usually, in most cases, there are reasons behind a control freak. Perhaps insecurity or maybe even fear makes them behave in a certain way. They may ask themselves, "Why do I feel anxious when something does not go according to plan?" or "What will happen if it does not?". In most cases, nothing that cannot be changed or undone.

Acceptance that not everything can be under control.

If I have to manage a project where deadlines, as well as the quality of the project needs to be exceptional and essential, I accept that I have to work with others; therefore, I may not be able to control the quality of the work delivered, and rely on everything going according to MY schedule.

First of all, people do not perform the same every day, and people get sick too. So I make all decisions on that basis, so if something does not go as I planned, I can easily blame the universe and my lousy luck (just kidding). By de facto accepting that not everything is in your control, you will immediately feel a tone of relief.

Nobody is perfect -neither are you.

Those who love you love you, despite your constant need to be perfect; besides, who is perfect? No one. Even computers and machines are not - trust me, my entire professional life depends on computers, yet they have let me down so many times! Instead of straining to achieve something impossible and unattainable because it does not exist, strain to be good at what you do.

As mentioned above, the "battle" of leaving your control freak behind is not easy -it needs more than the willingness of letting those sentiments go away. However, as with everything, consistency is the key in this particular case.

Challenge yourself and try to supress your true feelings when things do not go your way and exercise your empathy skills.

---

Follow Us On Social For More Tips & News

The Working Gal on Instagram

The Working Gal on Facebook

The Working Gal on Pinterest