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Introvert Asks: Lack of socializing
“I am an introvert and I find it hard to socialize at work. I am friendly with my colleagues but not that friendly so I don’t get invited to drinks after work and I usually spend my time at my desk. I would like to be more of an extrovert but I don’t know how.”
The Gal Answers:
We have good news: you don't have to become a full-blown extrovert to improve your social life at work. It can be quite frustrating when you can’t be the social butterfly going around the office and making new friends but I bet you are so productive that the promotion is right around the corner! So, it needs some time and effort to get yourself into being invited for after work drinks but it’s worth it. First and foremost, don’t pressure yourself and start with baby steps: A friendly "good morning" to a few colleagues, a brief chat about a shared project, or even just a smile can be a good icebreaker. Identify who among your colleagues seems more close to your mindset and start from them. Introverts prefer easy steps and the social ones can make them feel stressed. People like them are usually easier to talk to. Another way to be a bit more social is to volunteer to help a colleague on a project or help with your company’s event planning and organizing. There you will have many opportunities to talk to other people and start practising your social skills. However, pay attention to not trying to be someone you're not because it’s usually obvious. And relax, they are just people like you!
Charlotte Asks: Dating Problem
“I am 35, independent, I have a job, my friends consider me attractive but I still can’t find a partner. What is it so hard?”
The Gal Answers:
Because life is hard in general. Having ticked all the boxes on your checklist doesn’t mean that those boxes are relevant to another person’s. And we live in an era in which the dating landscape has changed significantly. We all have busier lives, and even though technology has made a lot of aspects of our lives easier, it has also altered how we meet and interact. Sometimes, it can feel like everyone is looking for something different or that people aren't as invested in forming more profound connections. And why do it? There are so many available options out there that often lead to decision fatigue. Another reason why you haven’t found what you are looking for is that you look in the same places over and over, and you see pretty much the same people. If you stick to the same routines and social circles, you might not be meeting people who can spark your interest. How about starting a new hobby? Try new activities, join clubs or groups, or take classes to meet people who share your interests and values. And have a goal; always have a goal. You have to be clear about what you're looking for in a partner and a relationship. Are you seeking something casual or long-term? What values and qualities are most important to you? When you have a clear vision, it's easier to find potential partners who are a good match. Remember Charlotte from Sex and the City? She was very clear that she wanted to get married and she went for it. Whether we like her or not, we can’t help but acknowledge that she set her goals and worked hard to achieve them. And, by the way, you are too young to be frustrated. Enjoy your life and the partner will soon appear!
Shy Asks: My opinion
“Do we have to tell our opinion to our friends?”
The Gal Answers:
In general, it’s advisable not to express our opinion unless we are asked. However, it depends on the circumstances. If you don’t like your friend’s dress but they are excited about that, then your opinion is just going to hurt them—so no. If they ask, you can express your opinion tactfully by saying something like “You always look good” or “It fits well.” This way, you won’t show fake feelings but you won’t hurt them as well. In important situations, and if your friend is doing something that is life threatening, yes, you should tell them their opinion but remember they may reject it. Generall speaking, it depends on the context, there is no fixed reply.
Noise-ill Asks: Can’t handle the buzz
“Our company moved us back to the office. All good so far, but from the moment we left the office till now, the company has expanded and we are a lot. The problem however is that the office is quite small for the amount of people working and it's an open space. And it's so noisy I can barely focus on my work. People are quite happy to socialize and keep finding excuses to start the small talk. And this is exhausting since it's counterproductive. What should I do?”
The Gal Answers:
Ouch, that’s a tough one. Noise-cancellation headphones are the only solution. That’s the only way to put that noise away. Invest in a good pair and pick your favorite playlists. It’s not something you can completely control, and I don’t know how much money and effort the company will want to put into facilitating the situation. You could potentially address the issue with HR, but in the meantime, gift yourself a pair of headphones and enjoy the silence. Good luck!
