You know the phrases. They come from colleagues, relatives, strangers, sometimes even friends. They're delivered casually, often with a smile, sometimes framed as compliments or jokes. And they leave you feeling... off. Annoyed. Diminished. Sometimes too caught off guard to respond.

These are the microaggressions of everyday sexism—the comments that aren't overtly hateful but still reinforce the idea that women should look a certain way, act a certain way, want certain things, and stay in certain lanes. They're so normalized that pointing them out often gets you labeled as "too sensitive" or "unable to take a joke."

But here's the thing: these phrases aren't harmless. Research shows that exposure to everyday sexism—even the "benevolent" kind that sounds like flattery—is associated with increased anxiety, depression, and decreased self-esteem in women. The cumulative effect of hearing these comments throughout a lifetime adds up.

We asked The Working Gal community to share the sexist comments they've heard most often. Here are the greatest hits—along with why they're problematic and how you might respond.

"Why is such a beautiful girl like you single?"

The assumption: A woman's primary value is her attractiveness, and attractiveness should naturally lead to a relationship. Being single must therefore be a problem to be solved—or worse, a failure on her part.

Why it's problematic: This frames a woman's relationship status as the natural consequence of her looks, as if beauty is currency that should be exchanged for partnership. It also assumes that being single is undesirable—that a woman alone is somehow incomplete. It never occurs to the asker that she might be single by choice, or that her relationship status is simply none of their business.

What you could say: "Because I'm a beautiful girl who doesn't want to compromise." Or simply: "I'm not sure why you think that's related."

"Female driver—what did you expect?"

The assumption: Women are inherently bad drivers. Any mistake made by a woman behind the wheel confirms this stereotype; mistakes made by men are just individual errors.

Why it's problematic: Insurance data consistently shows that men are involved in more accidents, more fatal crashes, and more incidents of aggressive driving than women. The stereotype persists despite evidence to the contrary because confirmation bias means people notice and remember instances that fit the stereotype while ignoring those that don't. It's also a convenient way to dismiss women's competence in any area—if she can't even drive, how can she be trusted with anything else?

What you could say: "Statistically, I expected better driving than from a man, actually." Or: "I'm not sure what you expected, but you might want to check your assumptions against the data."

"She must have done something to provoke him."

The assumption: When a man behaves badly toward a woman—whether through harassment, aggression, or violence—the woman must share some of the blame. Her behavior, clothing, or presence somehow invited or justified his actions.

Why it's problematic: This is victim-blaming in its purest form. It shifts responsibility from the person who acted badly to the person who was harmed. It suggests that men's behavior is an inevitable response to women's actions rather than a choice men make. And it creates a world where women must constantly modify their behavior to avoid "provoking" reactions they cannot actually control. The implication is that there's always something a woman could have done differently—and therefore, it's partly her fault.

What you could say: "She could have been standing there breathing, and that wouldn't justify his behavior. People are responsible for their own actions." Or simply: "No, she didn't. He made a choice."

"She's wife material."

The assumption: Women can be categorized based on their suitability for marriage. Some women have the right qualities to be chosen as wives; others, presumably, do not. A woman's highest achievement is being deemed marriageable.

Why it's problematic: This reduces women to objects to be evaluated for a specific purpose—like fabric being assessed for its suitability to make curtains. It implies that women should aspire to meet certain criteria to be "chosen" by men. It also suggests that "wife material" is a category with defined characteristics (usually: agreeable, domestic, attractive but not too sexual, supportive but not too ambitious). Women who don't fit these criteria are implicitly devalued. The phrase erases women's agency entirely—she's material to be shaped, not a person making her own choices.

What you could say: "She's a whole person who can decide what she wants to be, actually." Or: "What does that even mean? And why is it any of your business?"

"Fortunately, my husband helps me with chores."

The assumption: Housework is fundamentally the woman's responsibility. When a man participates, he's "helping"—going above and beyond what's expected of him. This deserves praise and gratitude.

Why it's problematic: You can't "help" with something that's equally your responsibility. If a man lives in a house, the housework is his job too—not a favor he's doing for his partner. The framing of domestic labor as women's work that men graciously assist with perpetuates an unequal distribution that research shows persists even when both partners work full-time. Studies consistently find that women do significantly more housework and childcare than their male partners, and this "second shift" is a major contributor to burnout and career setbacks for women.

What you could say: "Doesn't he live there too?" Or: "In our house, we don't call it helping—we call it living like an adult."

"You're moody today. How long has it been since you've had sex?"

The assumption: A woman's emotions are irrational and must be explained by her body or her sex life. If she's upset, it can't be because something legitimate is bothering her—it must be hormones, lack of sex, or some other physical cause that diminishes the validity of her feelings.

Why it's problematic: This is a silencing tactic. By attributing a woman's emotions to her body or sexuality, the speaker dismisses whatever she's actually feeling or thinking. It also inappropriately sexualizes a completely unrelated situation and suggests that women's emotional states are problems to be solved through sex. Imagine asking a man the same question when he seems frustrated at work—it would be considered bizarre and inappropriate. But for women, emotions are constantly pathologized and sexualized.

What you could say: "I wasn't in a bad mood until you asked that question." Or: "My sex life has nothing to do with my valid frustration about [actual issue]."

"Who wears the pants in the relationship?"

The assumption: Every relationship has a dominant partner and a submissive one, and the dominant role is inherently masculine (hence "wearing the pants"). If a woman seems assertive or if a man seems accommodating, something is wrong with the natural order.

Why it's problematic: Healthy relationships don't have one person "in charge." This question mocks partnerships where power is shared or where traditional gender roles aren't followed. It's often asked with the implication that a woman having influence is somehow emasculating to her partner—as if his masculinity depends on her submission. It also reinforces the idea that assertiveness is unfeminine and softness is unmasculine.

What you could say: "We both do. Skinny jeans are making a comeback." Or: "That's not really how adult relationships work."

"You're not like other women."

The assumption: "Other women" are a monolithic group with negative characteristics—dramatic, shallow, high-maintenance, irrational. Being told you're "not like them" is meant as a compliment. You've earned approval by being different from the terrible default.

Why it's problematic: This is a backhanded compliment that requires you to accept a negative view of women in general to feel flattered. It pits women against each other and suggests that being "like other women" is bad. It also puts pressure on you to maintain whatever quality made you "different"—you've been accepted into a special category, but that acceptance is conditional. The reality is that women are individuals with as much variation as men. There is no monolithic "other women" to be different from.

What you could say: "Neither are they." Or: "What do you think 'other women' are like? Because that says more about you than about them."

"Men don't cry."

The assumption: Emotional expression is feminine, and femininity is weakness. Real men suppress their emotions. Crying is shameful for anyone with a Y chromosome.

Why it's problematic: While this phrase is directed at men, it harms everyone. It tells men that their emotions are unacceptable, contributing to mental health crises and difficulty forming emotional connections. But it's also deeply sexist toward women because it works by using femininity as an insult—"don't cry" means "don't act like a woman." The underlying message is that being like a woman is degrading. Every time we police men's emotions by associating them with femininity, we reinforce the idea that there's something wrong with being female.

What you could say: "Men cry all the time. It's called having emotions." Or: "That's a weird thing to say about a normal human function."

"Don't act like a little girl."

The assumption: Being "like a girl" is inherently negative—weak, silly, emotional, immature. It's an insult to be compared to a female child.

Why it's problematic: "Like a girl" is used as shorthand for "badly" or "weakly" across many contexts—throwing like a girl, running like a girl, crying like a girl. This teaches both boys and girls from a young age that being female is something to avoid being compared to. Research has shown that girls' confidence plummets during puberty, and this kind of language is part of the reason—they absorb the message that their gender is synonymous with inferiority. Meanwhile, boys learn that the worst thing they can be is feminine.

What you could say: "What do you mean by that exactly?" (Making people explain their sexism is often more effective than arguing.) Or: "Little girls are awesome. Not sure why that's an insult."

"How will you get married if you don't know how to cook?"

The assumption: Marriage is every woman's goal, and her domestic skills determine her marriageability. A man chooses a wife based on her ability to serve him. A woman who can't cook has failed at a fundamental female requirement.

Why it's problematic: This treats marriage as a transaction where women offer domestic service in exchange for... what, exactly? Financial support? Social acceptability? It assumes women exist to take care of men rather than to live their own lives. It also ignores that plenty of married couples share cooking duties, order takeout, hire help, or have husbands who cook. The idea that a woman's cooking ability determines her worth as a partner is both outdated and insulting to everyone involved.

What you could say: "I'll hire a chef." Or: "The same way men who can't cook get married, I assume." Or simply: "It's 2025."

Why These Phrases Persist

Everyday sexism persists because it's woven into our language and culture so thoroughly that it often goes unnoticed—even by the people saying it. Many of these phrases are passed down through generations, repeated without reflection, and normalized through constant use.

Research on "benevolent sexism"—sexism that appears positive on the surface, like compliments or protective behavior—shows it can be just as harmful as hostile sexism. Women exposed to benevolent sexism perform worse on cognitive tasks, feel less competent, and have lower career aspirations. The "nice" packaging makes it harder to identify and push back against.

These comments also persist because calling them out is socially costly. Women who object to sexist remarks are often labeled humorless, oversensitive, or difficult. The phrase "it's just a joke" is used to silence legitimate concerns. Many women learn to let comments slide rather than face the social consequences of speaking up.

How to Respond (When You Choose To)

Not every sexist comment requires a response. Sometimes you don't have the energy. Sometimes the social or professional cost is too high. Sometimes you just want to get through the interaction and move on. That's valid. You're not obligated to educate everyone.

But when you do want to respond, here are some approaches:

Ask them to explain. "What do you mean by that?" or "I don't get it—can you explain?" Forces the speaker to articulate their assumptions, which often reveals how problematic they are. People frequently backpedal when asked to spell out what they actually meant.

Use humor. A witty response can deflect while still making a point. It's harder to accuse someone of being humorless when they're clearly being funny. The comebacks throughout this article are examples of this approach.

State the obvious. Sometimes simply naming what's happening is powerful. "That's a sexist thing to say" or "That's a strange assumption to make about women" can be enough to create a pause.

Flip the script. Ask whether they'd say the same thing about a man, or to a man. The absurdity of the double standard often becomes clear when the genders are reversed.

Choose your battles. Your well-being matters more than correcting every person who says something ignorant. It's okay to save your energy for the conversations that matter most.

The Bigger Picture

These phrases might seem small individually—just words, just jokes, just casual comments. But they add up. They shape how women see themselves and how the world sees women. They create environments where more serious forms of sexism can flourish unchallenged.

Naming them matters. Recognizing them matters. And when we have the energy and the opportunity, pushing back matters too—not because we'll change every mind, but because silence is often interpreted as agreement.

The next time someone asks how you'll get married if you can't cook, or tells you you're not like other women, or wonders why a beautiful girl like you is single—know that you're not oversensitive for being bothered. You're just paying attention.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is everyday sexism?

Everyday sexism refers to the routine, often subtle forms of gender discrimination that women encounter regularly—comments, behaviors, and assumptions that reinforce gender stereotypes or treat women as inferior. Unlike overt discrimination, everyday sexism is often normalized and dismissed as harmless.

What is benevolent sexism?

Benevolent sexism is sexism that appears positive or complimentary but still reinforces traditional gender roles and women's subordinate status. Examples include viewing women as pure, fragile, or needing protection. Research shows benevolent sexism can be as harmful as hostile sexism, affecting women's cognitive performance and self-esteem.

How do I respond to sexist comments at work?

In professional settings, consider asking clarifying questions ('What do you mean by that?'), calmly stating that the comment was inappropriate, or addressing it privately with the person or through HR if it's a pattern. Document incidents in case they escalate. Your approach may depend on your relationship with the person, your position, and your workplace culture.

Why is 'you're not like other girls' problematic?

This phrase requires you to accept a negative view of women to feel complimented. It implies that 'other women' are a monolithic group with undesirable traits and that being different from them is an achievement. It pits women against each other and suggests that femininity itself is something to distance yourself from.

What is a microaggression?

Microaggressions are subtle, often unintentional comments or behaviors that communicate negative or derogatory messages to members of marginalized groups. In the context of gender, microaggressions include comments that reinforce stereotypes, question women's competence, or treat women as objects. They're called 'micro' because they're small individually, but their cumulative effect is significant.

Should I always call out sexist comments?

No. You're not obligated to educate everyone or respond to every comment. Consider your energy, the relationship, the setting, and the potential consequences. Sometimes letting something go is the right choice for your well-being. Save your energy for the battles that matter most to you.