[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":607},["ShallowReactive",2],{"cms:/api/categories?fields[0]=name&fields[1]=slug&pagination[pageSize]=100&sort=documentId":3,"cms:/api/authors?populate=*&filters[slug]=mariana":45,"cms:/api/homepage?fields[0]=updatedAt&populate[navigation][fields][0]=name&populate[navigation][fields][1]=slug":81,"cms:/api/articles?populate=*&filters[author][id]=22&pagination[limit]=9&pagination[start]=36&sort[0]=bylineDate:DESC&sort[1]=createdAt:DESC":86},{"data":4,"meta":40},[5,10,15,20,25,30,35],{"id":6,"documentId":7,"name":8,"slug":9},8,"agm3bwiivq9ytkopje139uoj","Voices","voices",{"id":11,"documentId":12,"name":13,"slug":14},6,"fxhrufaspnwq0yurrk98sas3","Wellness","wellness",{"id":16,"documentId":17,"name":18,"slug":19},14,"gj8d0n6sxxe1mqfb0ticcamv","Style","style",{"id":21,"documentId":22,"name":23,"slug":24},12,"pra84h71qx5yo2kq8g18uy9h","After Hours","after-hours",{"id":26,"documentId":27,"name":28,"slug":29},2,"pregl64gjxpa6tec7l94j5fb","Career & Finance","career-and-finance",{"id":31,"documentId":32,"name":33,"slug":34},10,"vf2luiz1aic436stak4yr339","Nourish","food",{"id":36,"documentId":37,"name":38,"slug":39},4,"y4wuht99krufymt1c62zqtk1","Mindset","mindset",{"pagination":41},{"page":42,"pageSize":43,"pageCount":42,"total":44},1,100,7,{"data":46,"meta":78},[47],{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":56,"avatarImg":75},22,"wyt3u257aw7uw0dwu7iyp43t","Mariana","mariana",null,"Mariana is our amazing psychologist. She is generally shy, but she has the answers to all questions. She is calm but can be pretty sarcastic if she wants to! She is working with women who are struggling in their jobs. She also loves knitting. She helps our Working Gal Team with her valuable insights and tips for a balanced work life.","2026-09-06T10:31:24.439Z","2026-09-06T10:31:24.476Z",{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":62,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},11,"fheiaa5f5erfp90gy58ro2z5","1-4e8c14f9a17f874e48d1483a84a5e11eff6bee5c825f8de8b99f80ea39cc3be7.webp","",250,{"thumbnail":63},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},".webp","https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_1_4e8c14f9a17f874e48d1483a84a5e11eff6bee5c825f8de8b99f80ea39cc3be7.webp","4b4c936585b7dd1c23ef309e30c37e86","thumbnail_1_4e8c14f9a17f874e48d1483a84a5e11eff6bee5c825f8de8b99f80ea39cc3be7","image/webp","thumbnail_1-4e8c14f9a17f874e48d1483a84a5e11eff6bee5c825f8de8b99f80ea39cc3be7.webp",4.15,156,4148,"1_4e8c14f9a17f874e48d1483a84a5e11eff6bee5c825f8de8b99f80ea39cc3be7",8.36,"https://assets.workingal.com/1_4e8c14f9a17f874e48d1483a84a5e11eff6bee5c825f8de8b99f80ea39cc3be7.webp","@strapi/provider-upload-aws-s3","2026-09-06T10:31:24.366Z",{"pagination":79},{"page":42,"pageSize":80,"pageCount":42,"total":42},25,{"data":82,"meta":85},{"id":42,"documentId":83,"updatedAt":84},"nhhccnp3ibbyv1cn1er78o9h","2026-09-06T10:40:24.841Z",{},{"data":87,"meta":602},[88,159,214,270,326,380,435,490,545],{"id":89,"documentId":90,"title":91,"content":92,"slug":93,"coffees":26,"seo_title":94,"keywords":95,"seo_desc":96,"bylineDate":97,"bylineTimezone":98,"createdAt":99,"updatedAt":100,"publishedAt":101,"featuredImage":102,"category":152,"author":155,"img":150},382,"d4nneny80xaqb7licg4ldp1d","Rebecca Syndrome: The Dark Side of Dating","****\n\nRelationships are complicated and sometimes overwhelming. When it comes to romantic relationships, they can become even more complicated if jealousy \"lives and reigns.\" And that's exactly what a new term in dating refers to, and many individuals feel that it could bring disaster for couples.\n\n\"Rebecca syndrome,\" or **\"retroactive jealousy,\"** occurs when a person in a romantic relationship feels jealous or obsessed with their partner's previous relationship.\n\nThis is why it is called \"retroactive jealousy\"; it refers to the fixed past that cannot be changed. The term is named after the 1938 novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, which tells the story of a widower's second wife tormented by the idea that she will never be able to compete with Rebecca, her husband's previous wife.\n\nAccording to a 2017 study, about [66.7 percent](https://www.ladbible.com/lifestyle/what-is-rebecca-syndrome-romantic-relationships-465764-20241014) of relationship participants admitted to looking for a loved one's ex, a figure that drops to 65.8 percent in married couples. Today, with social media exacerbating _\"a set of psychological problems,\"_ psychologists say Rebecca Syndrome is a worsening phenomenon.\n\n# What does \"Rebecca syndrome\" look like in a relationship?\n\n![rebecca syndrome jealousy](https://assets.workingal.com/rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_99a02fb537.jpg)\n\nKate Balestrieri, psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy, explains how someone can experience feelings of insecurity around their partner's past relationships and sexual history, no matter how much time has passed. Comparison with previous partners can lead the person to compare themselves to things like appearance, intelligence, and fuel obsession.\n\n_\"It can really cause a lot of pain to couples because the partner with retroactive jealousy is often stuck thinking about the details of their partner's past relationships, wondering if their partner is thinking or fantasizing about their ex, or even comparing their current relationship to their past experiences,\"_ she said in an interview with Women's Health. For the expert, it may be how someone counteracts fears of abandonment and ideas that they will never be good enough for a relationship due to previous relational traumas.\n\nIndividuals suffering from Rebecca Syndrome often experience a range of negative emotions, including:\n\n**\\- Insecurity:** Constant self-doubt and comparison to the past partner.\n\n**\\- Anxiety:** Fear of inadequacy and the belief that they cannot measure up.\n\n**\\- Jealousy:** Intense envy and resentment towards the past partner.\n\n**\\- Obsessive Thoughts:** Constant rumination about the past relationship.\n\n**\\- Low Self-Esteem:** A diminished sense of self-worth.\n\n# What to do if you suspect you or your partner might have Rebecca Syndrome\n\n**Be honest and open to communication**\n\nTalk openly and honestly with your partner about your concerns and feelings regarding their past relationships. This involves sharing your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or rejection, creating a safe space for vulnerability and trust.\n\n**Work on your self-esteem**\n\nBy working on self-confidence and addressing personal insecurities, you can reduce the fuel for jealousy. This involves recognizing and challenging negative thoughts, practicing positive self-talk, and setting achievable goals. By valuing your own worth and abilities, you can develop a healthier sense of self and reduce the impact of past relationships on your current one.\n\n**Visit a professional**\n\n![rebecca syndrome jealousy](https://assets.workingal.com/rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_7a053b7a2a.jpg)\n\nIf jealousy is significantly impacting your relationship, **couples therapy** can provide a safe and supportive space to address underlying issues and develop effective coping mechanisms. A therapist can help you and your partner improve communication, build trust, and work through past hurts. You can gain valuable tools and strategies to manage jealousy and strengthen your relationship by seeking professional guidance.\n\nRebecca Syndrome can severely strain a relationship, leading to a host of negative consequences. Individuals suffering from this condition may struggle with deep-seated trust issues, constantly questioning their partner's intentions and loyalty. They may avoid discussing the past, fearing further **emotional** turmoil and resentment.\n\nAs trust erodes, an emotional distance grows between partners, hindering intimacy and connection. This can lead to frequent conflicts and arguments, as jealousy and insecurity fuel misunderstandings and hurt. In severe cases, the overwhelming emotional toll can even lead to the termination of the relationship, as both partners become overwhelmed by the constant stress and negativity.\n\n### **Sources:**\n\n\u003Chttps://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a41044659/retroactive-jealousy/>\n\n\u003Chttps://www.bbc.com/news/stories-44850438>\n\n\u003Chttps://health.clevelandclinic.org/retroactive-jealousy>","rebecca-syndrome-the-dark-side-of-dating","\"Rebecca Syndrome\": The Dark Side of Dating","rebecca syndrome, my partner is jealous, jealousy in couples, dating jealousy, retroactive jealousy","Rebecca syndrome or retroactive jealously can harm your dating experience and your relationship. Recognize it and learn how to overcome it.","2024-11-20","Europe/Berlin","2024-11-19T23:14:55.102Z","2024-11-19T23:44:02.979Z","2024-11-19T23:44:02.976Z",{"id":103,"documentId":104,"name":105,"alternativeText":106,"caption":106,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":109,"hash":148,"ext":111,"mime":115,"size":149,"url":150,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":151,"updatedAt":151,"publishedAt":151},206,"y26o92h2y643rbpuineh348d","rebecca syndrome jealousy-8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg","rebecca syndrome jealousy",1600,900,{"large":110,"small":121,"medium":130,"thumbnail":139},{"ext":111,"url":112,"etag":113,"hash":114,"mime":115,"name":116,"path":52,"size":117,"width":118,"height":119,"sizeInBytes":120},".jpg","https://assets.workingal.com/large_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg","165d4f3594ca4d1bb7d06e0dac36a32b","large_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2","image/jpeg","large_rebecca syndrome jealousy-8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg",49.96,1000,563,49963,{"ext":111,"url":122,"etag":123,"hash":124,"mime":115,"name":125,"path":52,"size":126,"width":127,"height":128,"sizeInBytes":129},"https://assets.workingal.com/small_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg","4865c55c9abdc3161add6016f6fd70c7","small_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2","small_rebecca syndrome jealousy-8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg",18.11,500,281,18106,{"ext":111,"url":131,"etag":132,"hash":133,"mime":115,"name":134,"path":52,"size":135,"width":136,"height":137,"sizeInBytes":138},"https://assets.workingal.com/medium_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg","35a91fd63f83c44b0fccf252c2d711d1","medium_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2","medium_rebecca syndrome jealousy-8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg",32.3,750,422,32304,{"ext":111,"url":140,"etag":141,"hash":142,"mime":115,"name":143,"path":52,"size":144,"width":145,"height":146,"sizeInBytes":147},"https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg","ac05c15f25f59c22d9d9997a0223ad42","thumbnail_rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2","thumbnail_rebecca syndrome jealousy-8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg",6.64,245,138,6642,"rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2",93.41,"https://assets.workingal.com/rebecca_syndrome_jealousy_8f3000d3bc705f16843ca5634e0d25f2550ef53b7862af2a7694d8416cd836b2.jpg","2026-09-06T10:34:24.802Z",{"id":36,"documentId":37,"name":38,"slug":39,"createdAt":153,"updatedAt":153,"publishedAt":154},"2026-09-06T10:31:16.716Z","2026-09-06T10:31:16.780Z",{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":156},{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":157,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},{"thumbnail":158},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},{"id":160,"documentId":161,"title":162,"content":163,"slug":164,"coffees":52,"seo_title":162,"keywords":165,"seo_desc":166,"bylineDate":167,"bylineTimezone":98,"createdAt":168,"updatedAt":169,"publishedAt":170,"featuredImage":171,"category":209,"author":210,"img":207},380,"b6pile1mc2cf027ayvwqrscc","The Power of Being Grateful","****\n\nThanksgiving is just a few days away, and gratitude is not just an emotional response but a force that can change how we see the world and our lives. People who cultivate gratitude feel more **satisfied** with their lives and are more resilient in difficult situations.\n\nThe [American Psychological Association](https://www.apa.org/ed/precollege/topss/lessons/activities/activity-benefits-gratitude.pdf) defines this phenomenon as a sense of happiness and thankfulness in response to a fortunate happenstance or tangible gift.\n\nGratitude is a profound state of mind, often misunderstood as a mere fleeting emotion. It’s more than just saying _“thank you.”_ It's a conscious choice to focus on the **positive aspects of life**, even in the most challenging times. It's about recognizing and appreciating the big and small blessings that enrich our lives.\n\nAccording to research, people who practice gratitude are _happier, healthier, and have better relationships_ with those around them. Gratitude can enhance our mental well-being and help us live with more balance.\n\n# The Transformative Power of Gratitude\n\n![how to be grateful](https://assets.workingal.com/how_to_be_grateful_e72471d410.jpg)\n\nScientific studies have shown that practicing gratitude can significantly impact our mental and physical well-being. It can:\n\n**\\- Reduce stress and anxiety:** Gratitude can help alleviate stress and anxiety by shifting our focus to positive experiences.\n\n**\\- Improve sleep quality:** A grateful mindset can promote relaxation and better sleep patterns.\n\n**\\- Boost happiness and optimism:** Gratitude can increase feelings of joy, contentment, and hope.\n\n**\\- Strengthen relationships:** Expressing gratitude to others can deepen bonds and foster stronger relationships.\n\n**\\- Enhance resilience:** A grateful perspective can help us cope with adversity and bounce back from challenges.\n\n# How to build an attitude of gratitude\n\nGratitude is like a \"muscle\" that needs exercise to get stronger. Being grateful can be hard, especially in our busy and fast-paced lives, but some small changes in our daily routines can make us :\n\n## 1\\. Keep a gratitude journal\n\nOne of the most uncomplicated and effective habits is keeping a gratitude journal. Take a few minutes each day to write down 2-3 things you are grateful for. It can be something as small as a nice cup of coffee in the morning or something bigger, like a nice conversation with a friend.\n\n## 2\\. Start your day with gratitude\n\nBefore you get out of bed in the morning, take a few moments to think of three things you are grateful for. This little routine can change your mood and set a positive foundation for the rest of the day. For instance, instead of grabbing your phone first thing in the morning, why don’t you grab your journal and jot down all the things you are grateful for?\n\n## 3\\. Be grateful even for challenges\n\nGratitude isn't just about the good times. When you face difficulties, try to find what you can learn from them. Acknowledging that every challenge can bring an opportunity for growth is a powerful tool for personal development.\n\n## 4\\. Express yourself to others\n\nSay _\"thank you\"_ to someone who has done something nice for you, even if it's something simple. Acknowledging the actions of others creates a chain of gratitude and strengthens relationships. You can send a text, an email, or write a letter of appreciation to someone who has supported you.\n\n## 5\\. Focus on the positive\n\n![how to be grateful](https://assets.workingal.com/how_to_be_grateful_bb4e5f9653.jpg)\n\nIt’s easy to get into a position where we want to live our [drama](https://www.workingal.com/articles/the-drama-llama-10-signs-you-are-addicted-to-drama) because something bad happened. However, instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, why not focus on your life's positive aspects? When negative thoughts arise, challenge them with positive affirmations. This way, you train your mind to be more grateful, even when life throws you lemons instead of raspberries.\n\n## 6\\. Let go of expectations and perfectionism\n\nNobody is perfect, and life is imperfect as well. We all make mistakes, and if we didn’t, how would we learn our lesson? Shift your mindset to not expect perfection from yourself or others and accept your and other people’s mistakes.\n\n****\n\nGratitude can bring considerable changes in our lives without requiring significant investments of time or energy. Even small moments of conscious recognition of good things can change how we feel and see the world around us.\n\nTake time each day to think about what brings you gratitude and notice how it **affects your mood**. Over time, gratitude will become part of your daily routine and enhance positivity in your life.\n\nGratitude is a simple yet **powerful practice** that can change our lives. Start building your own grateful mindset today and see how your life will be filled with more joy and contentment.\n\n### Maybe start at Thanksgiving?","the-power-of-being-grateful","thanksgiving, grateful, how to be grateful, grateful journal, graditude journal, ","Gratitude is very important for a balanced and purposeful life. This thanksgiving maybe take some time and feel grateful for all that you have. Read the article and learn how to incorporate some acts of gratitude in your life.","2024-11-17","2024-11-17T22:07:01.898Z","2024-11-17T22:13:52.631Z","2024-11-17T22:13:52.628Z",{"id":172,"documentId":173,"name":174,"alternativeText":175,"caption":175,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":176,"hash":205,"ext":111,"mime":115,"size":206,"url":207,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":208,"updatedAt":208,"publishedAt":208},205,"lkyyfzasthj1zhsg4mvuk52t","how to be grateful-fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg","how to be grateful",{"large":177,"small":184,"medium":191,"thumbnail":198},{"ext":111,"url":178,"etag":179,"hash":180,"mime":115,"name":181,"path":52,"size":182,"width":118,"height":119,"sizeInBytes":183},"https://assets.workingal.com/large_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg","1c22faa118a1f8dc63e961f8c0f9f329","large_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f","large_how to be grateful-fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg",67.66,67663,{"ext":111,"url":185,"etag":186,"hash":187,"mime":115,"name":188,"path":52,"size":189,"width":127,"height":128,"sizeInBytes":190},"https://assets.workingal.com/small_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg","adea7acfa49a14dea7640abeb60470b4","small_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f","small_how to be grateful-fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg",23.42,23423,{"ext":111,"url":192,"etag":193,"hash":194,"mime":115,"name":195,"path":52,"size":196,"width":136,"height":137,"sizeInBytes":197},"https://assets.workingal.com/medium_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg","17a512c32f3a9dfbf644bac15003da89","medium_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f","medium_how to be grateful-fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg",43.05,43049,{"ext":111,"url":199,"etag":200,"hash":201,"mime":115,"name":202,"path":52,"size":203,"width":145,"height":146,"sizeInBytes":204},"https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg","3721b35c41f660179d69bfa1d150b638","thumbnail_how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f","thumbnail_how to be grateful-fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg",8.42,8418,"how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f",93.18,"https://assets.workingal.com/how_to_be_grateful_fe9267335d2debce9d1647d22b532a7d8b2f77ba525ce49d004c87f710949b2f.jpg","2026-09-06T10:34:24.075Z",{"id":36,"documentId":37,"name":38,"slug":39,"createdAt":153,"updatedAt":153,"publishedAt":154},{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":211},{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":212,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},{"thumbnail":213},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},{"id":215,"documentId":216,"title":217,"content":218,"slug":219,"coffees":26,"seo_title":217,"keywords":220,"seo_desc":221,"bylineDate":222,"bylineTimezone":98,"createdAt":223,"updatedAt":224,"publishedAt":225,"featuredImage":226,"category":265,"author":266,"img":263},366,"s7786koyb769d95bt57fcmtw","The Drama Llama: 10 Signs You Are Addicted to Drama","****\n\nEverybody enjoys a cool Netflix drama, but what about a real-life one? What happens when drama gets into your daily life, and you end up acting like a **Hollywood** star but without the spotlight?\n\nThe term _“drama queen”_ is widely used to describe someone who tends to exaggerate emotions, create unnecessary drama, or overreact to situations. The \"queen\" part of the phrase likely comes from the idea of a queen being a dramatic and attention-seeking figure, which is **inaccurate** because it applies to both males and females.\n\nWhile life can be **challenging**, and undoubtedly, everyone experiences ups and downs, certain behaviors can be associated with a tendency toward drama and can be extremely overwhelming and frustrating for the people involved.\n\nDo you find yourself at the center of emotional whirlwinds? Do your relationships often feel like a rollercoaster ride? If so, you might be exhibiting some classic signs of a drama queen. While a bit of flair can be fun, excessive drama can strain relationships and be an **obstacle** to your personal growth.\n\nBeing a drama queen can be exhausting and can create problems not only for the… queen but also for the people around them. Apart from the fact that drama can be emotionally **draining** for all involved, it can create severe stress and anxiety and, therefore, compromise our mental health.\n\n![signs you are a drama queen](https://assets.workingal.com/signs_you_are_a_drama_queen_3_1_dfa415231a.webp)\n\nDrama can damage relationships with friends, family, and partners. Frequent exaggerations and fabrications can erode trust because _“how many horrible things can happen within one day?”._ When someone compares every minor inconvenience to something tragedy-like, inevitably, others won’t show trust, and the drama queen’s credibility can be seriously damaged. Let alone when we talk about the workplace environment, where drama can disrupt workflow and decrease the team’s productivity while creating tensions.\n\nSo, if you think you show any of the signs below, maybe it’s time to take a big breath, acknowledge that life is not an endless drama, and evaluate your life accordingly.\n\n## Exaggerated Reactions\n\nYou tend to overreact to minor issues. A small inconvenience, like a spilled drink or a delayed train, can feel like a major catastrophe. A person who is addicted to drama might throw a **tantrum**, blame others, and refuse to continue with the day instead of calmly cleaning up the spill or waiting for the next train.\n\n## Frequent Mood Swings\n\nA drama queen's mood swings can be dramatic and unpredictable. They might be overly enthusiastic and optimistic one moment, only to become deeply sad or angry the next. For example, they might be **overjoyed** about a small success, but a minor setback could lead to self-doubt and negativity. These rapid shifts in mood can be confusing and disruptive for those around them. If you feel like your mood is controlled by every minor thing that is happening in your life, and running out of milk can destroy your calm and **pleasant** day, maybe you are prone to drama.\n\n## Constant Validation Seeking\n\nYou constantly need **reassurance** and approval from others. This can manifest in different behaviors, such as frequently asking for compliments, opinions, or approval on even the most minor decisions. For example, if you ask a friend to confirm if your outfit looks good or seek **approval** from your partner before making a minor purchase, then maybe it’s a sign that you are attracted by the drama in your life.\n\n## Victim Mentality\n\n![signs you are a drama queen](https://assets.workingal.com/signs_you_are_a_drama_queen4_1_61d64623c4.webp)\n\nYou often see yourself as the victim, blaming others for your problems. People with a victim mentality, especially when it comes from past trauma, **unconsciously** seek validation and help from others. They play the _“poor me”_ card consistently, which can generate compassion and support from others. Also, people with a victim mentality avoid taking risks and blame others for everything happening, even though they are clearly **responsible**. If it’s never your fault, then it’s the drama speaking within you.\n\n## Black-and-White Thinking\n\nYou view situations in extreme terms, with no middle ground. For example, a slightly delayed dinner might be seen as a complete failure of hospitality, or a minor disagreement with a friend could be interpreted as a major **betrayal** on their part. There are no **gray areas** in the life of a drama queen. A prevalent sign is to jump to extreme conclusions without taking into account the context. If your friend cancels dinner because she feels sick, you immediately consider this an enormous faux pas for your friendship.\n\n## Constant Complaining\n\nYou frequently express dissatisfaction and **negativity**. Everything around you is made just to annoy you. You may have the ideal job, but you still have something negative to say about it. You are on vacation, complaining about the lines at the museum, or because your order arrived late. Well, life happens; drama doesn’t have to. And if you find yourself feeling the urge to **complain** about everything, then it’s time to acknowledge the drama queen in you.\n\n## Gossiping\n\n![signs you are a drama queen](https://assets.workingal.com/signs_you_are_a_drama_queen1_5_42918157b5.webp)\n\nYou enjoy sharing negative information about others, and the best part of your day is **spilling tea** about a friend. Well, drama queens love gossiping and spreading information that has nothing to do with them. They may share rumors, exaggerate stories, or reveal private information to damage someone's reputation. For example, they might gossip about a coworker's personal life or **criticize** a friend's appearance behind their back. This behavior can damage relationships and create a harmful setting in the professional and personal environment.\n\n## Blaming Others\n\nA drama queen often avoids taking **responsibility** for their actions and blames others for their mistakes. For example, if a project fails, they might blame their team members or external factors rather than acknowledging their own contribution to the problem. Or, if a relationship ends, they might blame their partner for all the issues, refusing to acknowledge their own role in the **breakdown**. This tendency to shift blame can damage relationships and hinder personal growth.\n\n## Argumentative Nature\n\nA drama queen enjoys **engaging** in arguments and debates, even when unnecessary. They might argue over minor details, challenge others' opinions, or pick fights for no reason. For example, they might argue with a waiter about the quality of the food or debate politics with a stranger on a bus. This tendency to argue can create tension and conflict in relationships, making others' lives **insufferable** when they have to deal with them. A good argument is always welcome, but when it’s unnecessary, it causes mental exhaustion.\n\n## Attention-Seeking Behavior\n\nA drama queen often craves **attention** and will go to great lengths to be the center of attention. They might share overly personal details about their lives, exaggerate their experiences, or create dramatic situations to garner sympathy or admiration. For example, they might post overly emotional social media posts, engage in public displays of **affection**, or start arguments to draw attention to themselves. This constant need for attention can be exhausting for those around them and can damage relationships.\n\n# What To Do?\n\nIf you recognize yourself in some of the above situations and are willing to let the drama out of your life, the following advice could help you increase your self-awareness and emotions.\n\n## Practice self-control\n\nStep back from a situation and try to see it more **logically**. Is it that horrible that you missed the train? Especially if the next one is 3 minutes away. Also, put everything in perspective. What is the worst that could happen, given that you missed the train or spilled the coffee on you? Well, nothing in particular. When you understand that sometimes the Earth will keep going around the moon whether you miss the train or not, you will minimize your tendency to **overreact** in minor situations.\n\n## Be open to change\n\n![signs you are a drama queen](https://assets.workingal.com/signs_you_are_a_drama_queen_2_3_53b3437659.webp)\n\nLet go of the need to be **right** and be open to changing your perspective. Every person is reacting differently in every situation per their experience and way of thinking. Trying to stick to your guns all the time can be exhausting and hinder your **communication** with the people around you. Also, your friends, family, partners are not machines, they are normal people, they work overtime or they get sick. It’s not the end of the world if you miss a dinner. This is life, move on and ask your friend if they need some soup!\n\n## Be an observer\n\nNot everything needs a **reaction**. Speak less, listen more; you have time to see and sidestep the drama. We know it can be frustrating listening to someone having a different opinion than you, but imagine how the world would be if everyone agreed with each other? Dull, probably. Next time you can’t keep yourself from expressing your opinion and getting into an **argument**, count up to 10 and try to think why that person thinks this way. This may help you understand more. In the meantime, congratulate yourself for skipping the drama today!\n\n## Consider therapy\n\nWhen we can’t control our emotions and tend to overreact when we encounter even the most insignificant situation, maybe **therapy** is our only solution. Therapy will help you understand your triggers and will encourage you to work with yourself to eliminate such triggers and acquire more self-awareness. The more self-aware you are, the better you can control your emotions and reactions to a particular situation. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help us identify **dramatic** thinking and develop a more balanced perspective.","the-drama-llama-10-signs-you-are-addicted-to-drama","drama queen, what is a drama queen, drama queen behavior, drama queens","If you feel like exploding over the minor inconvenience, then probably you are more of a drama queen than you think. 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Or noticed how certain people seem to navigate difficult discussions with ease, while others consistently leave tension in their wake? The difference often comes down to one critical factor: emotional intelligence.\n\nYour vocabulary reveals more about your EQ than you might realize. According to research from [Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence](https://careers.environment.yale.edu/blog/2024/09/18/career-success-and-mental-health-awareness/), the language we use directly impacts our relationships, career success, and overall mental health. People with high emotional intelligence instinctively avoid certain phrases that damage trust, invalidate feelings, and shut down productive communication.\n\nIn this guide, we're breaking down the 8 phrases emotionally intelligent people never use—and more importantly, what they say instead. Whether you're navigating workplace conflicts, strengthening [personal relationships](https://www.workingal.com/articles/self-sabotage-the-signs-that-you-undermine-your-relationships), or simply wanting to communicate more effectively, understanding these linguistic patterns can transform how others perceive and respond to you.\n\nBecause here's the truth: emotional intelligence isn't just about understanding emotions—it's about expressing them in ways that build connection rather than create walls.\n\n## What Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?\n\nEQ stands for Emotional Quotient, and it refers to a person's ability to understand, use, and manage their emotions positively. According to Dr. Daniel Goleman, author of the groundbreaking book *Emotional Intelligence*, high EQ enables us to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict constructively.\n\nUnlike IQ, which remains relatively stable throughout life, emotional intelligence can be developed and strengthened at any age. Research from the University of California, Berkeley shows that [58% of professional success is directly attributed to emotional intelligence](https://www.charlestonsouthern.edu/why-is-emotional-intelligence-important/#:~:text=Statistics%20in%20support%20of%20Emotional,has%20higher%20emotional%20intelligence%20levels.), making it one of the most valuable skills you can cultivate.\n\n![emotionally intelligence vocabulary](https://assets.workingal.com/emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_15e42ce2ec.webp)\n\nAchieving emotional intelligence requires conscious effort and practice—particularly when it comes to how we communicate. The words we choose don't just reflect our EQ level; they actively shape our relationships and influence how others respond to us in critical moments.\n\n## Why Your Vocabulary Matters for Emotional Intelligence\n\nAccording to experts, one of the simplest and most effective ways to improve your EQ is through intentional language use. Psychologist Dr. Marc Brackett of Yale University's Center for Emotional Intelligence explains that our vocabulary either inspires connection and positive emotional responses or triggers defensiveness and emotional shutdown.\n\nPeople with high emotional intelligence don't just know *what* to say—they understand the psychological impact of their words. They've learned (sometimes through painful trial and error) that certain phrases consistently damage relationships, no matter how well-intentioned they might seem.\n\nThe good news? Once you become aware of these linguistic patterns, changing them becomes surprisingly straightforward. Let’s see which are the specific phrases emotionally intelligent people actively avoid—and what they say instead.\n\n## 8 Phrases Emotionally Intelligent People Never Use\n\n### 1\\. \"I'm Sorry\" (When You Mean \"I Apologize\")\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nOn the surface, \"I'm sorry\" seems emotionally intelligent—after all, aren't apologies a good thing? But linguistically, there's a crucial difference between \"I'm sorry\" and \"I apologize.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry\" is a passive statement. It's a statement of regret without accountability. \"I apologize,\" however, is active—it's taking ownership and demonstrating a commitment to make amends. [Research from the Journal of Positive Psychology](https://rips-irsp.com/articles/10.5334/irsp.479) shows that active apologies are 45% more effective at restoring trust than passive expressions of regret.\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"I apologize for \\[specific action\\]. Here's what I'll do differently next time.\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"I'm sorry you felt hurt by what I said.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"I apologize for my comment about your presentation. It was dismissive, and I should have approached it more constructively. Moving forward, I'll focus on offering specific, actionable feedback.\"\n\n**Why This Works:** The specific apology acknowledges the exact behavior, validates the impact, and offers a concrete change—all hallmarks of high emotional intelligence.\n\n### 2\\. \"That Reminds Me of When I...\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nWhen someone shares something vulnerable with you, pivoting immediately to your own experience sends a clear message: \"I'm not really listening to you.\" Even if your intention is to show empathy through a shared experience, this phrase often comes across as conversational hijacking.\n\nDr. Brené Brown, research professor and author of *Dare to Lead*, calls this \"comparative suffering\"—and it's one of the quickest ways to shut down authentic connection. Studies show that when people feel unheard, they're 70% less likely to share vulnerable information with that person again.\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"Tell me more about that,\" or \"That sounds really difficult. How are you handling it?\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"You're stressed about your promotion? That reminds me of when I was up for director—I couldn't sleep for weeks\\!\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"A promotion is such a big deal. What's the most stressful part about it for you right now?\"\n\n**Why This Works:** Instead of redirecting attention to yourself, you're deepening the conversation and demonstrating genuine curiosity about their experience. This is active listening in practice.\n\n### 3\\. \"I Have No Other Choice\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nThis phrase is emotionally manipulative, whether you intend it that way or not. It accomplishes two harmful things: First, it's rarely truthful—we almost always have more options than we're acknowledging. Second, it's often used to pressure someone into doing what you want while avoiding accountability for your decision.\n\nAccording to organizational psychologist Dr. Adam Grant, this phrase removes agency from the conversation and creates resentment, particularly in workplace relationships.\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"I've decided to \\[action\\] because \\[reason\\]\" or \"Here are the options I'm considering...\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"I have no choice but to cancel our plans—work needs me this weekend.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"I'm choosing to work this weekend because this deadline is critical to my team's success. I know this affects our plans, and I'm disappointed too. Can we reschedule for next Saturday?\"\n\n**Why This Works:** Taking ownership of your decisions (rather than presenting them as inevitable) respects the other person's intelligence and maintains trust even in disappointing situations.\n\n### 4\\. \"You're Overreacting\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nThis dismissive phrase is essentially emotional invalidation wrapped in a criticism. It tells the other person that their feelings are wrong, excessive, or unreasonable—which immediately triggers defensiveness and shuts down productive dialogue.\n\nResearch from The Gottman Institute shows that invalidation is one of the strongest predictors of relationship deterioration. When someone feels their emotions are dismissed, they either escalate (to finally be heard) or withdraw (because it feels unsafe to share).\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"I can see this is really important to you. Help me understand why.\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"You're overreacting about the meeting. It wasn't a big deal.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"I can see this meeting situation is really bothering you. Can you help me understand what about it feels so significant to you?\"\n\n**Why This Works:** This response validates their emotional experience without necessarily agreeing with their perspective. It opens dialogue instead of shutting it down and demonstrates genuine curiosity rather than dismissiveness.\n\n### 5\\. \"I Told You So\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nThis phrase is pure ego. It puts you at the center of attention as the \"bright omniscient\" one (even if that wasn't your intention) while making the other person feel inferior. It focuses on past mistakes rather than finding solutions or offering support.\n\nHigh-EQ individuals understand that being \"right\" matters far less than maintaining positive relationships and helping others grow. As leadership expert Simon Sinek notes, \"Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.\"\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"What can I do to help?\" or \"What did you learn from this experience?\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"I told you that approach wouldn't work with the client. Maybe next time you'll listen to me.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"That client meeting sounds frustrating. What approach do you think might work better for the next conversation?\"\n\n**Why This Works:** Instead of dwelling on being correct, you're helping them process the experience and move forward—which is what people actually need after a disappointment.\n\n### 6\\. \"I Know How You Feel\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nThis phrase has zero empathy despite its well-meaning intention. It's become so cliché that it signals a lack of genuine understanding and compassion. The reality? You don't know exactly how they feel. Everyone processes emotions differently based on their unique experiences, context, and personality.\n\nAccording to empathy researcher Dr. Helen Riess, true empathy requires acknowledging that we can't fully know someone else's internal experience—and that's okay. What matters is our willingness to try to understand.\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"I can only imagine how difficult this must be\" or \"That sounds incredibly challenging.\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"I know how you feel about losing that promotion. It happened to me once too.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"Not getting that promotion must be so disappointing, especially after all the work you put in. How are you processing it?\"\n\n**Why This Works:** This acknowledges their unique experience without presuming to fully understand it, which actually creates more space for them to share authentically.\n\n### 7\\. \"It's Not That Hard\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nAlthough this phrase is often used to remove fear or encourage someone, it frequently has the opposite effect. It minimizes their struggle and can easily be perceived as undermining their skills and capabilities. What's \"easy\" for you might be genuinely challenging for someone else—due to different skill sets, learning styles, or circumstances.\n\n![emotionally intelligence vocabulary](https://assets.workingal.com/emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_a9dbbe8eb3.webp)\n\nResearch in educational psychology shows that when learners feel their difficulties are dismissed, their motivation and performance actually decrease rather than improve.\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\n\"What's the part that's feeling most challenging?\" or \"How can I support you through this?\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"It's not that hard. Just follow the steps, and you'll figure it out.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"I remember finding this tricky at first too. What specific part is giving you trouble? Maybe I can explain it differently.\"\n\n**Why This Works:** This acknowledges the challenge as real while offering constructive support rather than dismissiveness. It maintains their dignity while still providing help.\n\n### 8\\. \"No Offense, But...\"\n\n**Why It's Problematic:**\n\nThis phrase is essentially announcing: \"I'm about to say something offensive, but I don't want to take responsibility for your reaction to it.\" It's a preemptive defensiveness that signals you know what you're about to say could be hurtful, yet you're choosing to say it anyway—and expecting them not to be upset.\n\nEmotionally intelligent people understand that if you need to preface something with \"no offense,\" you should probably reconsider whether it needs to be said at all, or find a more constructive way to express it.\n\n**What to Say Instead:**\n\nRethink what you're about to say. If it's important feedback, frame it constructively: \"I want to share something because I care about your growth...\"\n\nExample:\n\n* ❌ Low EQ: \"No offense, but your presentation style needs work.\"  \n* ✅ High EQ: \"I noticed during your presentation that the team seemed to lose focus around the third slide. Would you be open to some feedback on how to maintain engagement?\"\n\n**Why This Works:** Instead of a confrontational preface, you're inviting a collaborative conversation about improvement. The person can choose to engage rather than feeling attacked.\n\n## How to Develop Higher Emotional Intelligence\n\nIf you've recognized yourself in any of these phrases (and most of us have used at least one), don't panic. Emotional intelligence is a skill, not a fixed trait—which means you can actively develop it.\n\nStart Here:\n\n### Practice Self-Awareness: \n\nBefore you speak, pause for two seconds. Ask yourself: \"What am I trying to accomplish with these words?\" This tiny pause creates space for more intentional communication.\n\n### Listen More Than You Speak: \n\nHigh-EQ individuals are exceptional listeners. Try the 70/30 rule—listen 70% of the time, speak 30% of the time. You'll be amazed what you learn.\n\n### [Ask More Questions:](https://www.workingal.com/articles/5-useful-questions-to-ask-your-manager) \n\nReplace statements with curious questions. \"What made you feel that way?\" or \"What would be most helpful right now?\" shifts conversations from talking *at* someone to talking *with* them.\n\n### Notice Patterns: \n\nPay attention to how people respond to your communication. If you notice consistent defensiveness or withdrawal, that's data—use it to adjust your approach.\n\n### Embrace Repair: \n\nWhen you mess up (and you will), own it quickly. \"I shouldn't have said that the way I did. Can we start over?\" is incredibly powerful.\n\n## Frequently Asked Questions About Emotional Intelligence\n\n### Q: Can emotional intelligence really be learned, or are some people just naturally better at it?\n\nA: Research consistently shows that emotional intelligence can be developed at any age. While some people may have a natural inclination toward empathy or self-awareness, the specific skills of EQ—like emotional regulation, active listening, and conflict resolution—are absolutely learnable through practice and feedback. Studies from the [Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations](https://www.eiconsortium.org/) found that EQ training programs show measurable improvements within 8-12 weeks of consistent practice.\n\n### Q: What's the difference between empathy and emotional intelligence?\n\nA: Empathy is a component of emotional intelligence, but EQ is much broader. Emotional intelligence includes five core components according to Dr. Daniel Goleman: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and [social skills](https://www.workingal.com/articles/psychology-social-media-women). Empathy is crucial, but high EQ also requires the ability to manage your own emotions, stay motivated through [challenges](https://www.workingal.com/articles/real-stories-my-biggest-challenge-at-work), and navigate complex social situations effectively. You can be empathetic but still have low emotional intelligence if you lack self-regulation or social skills.\n\n### Q: How long does it take to see real improvements in emotional intelligence?\n\nA: Most people notice initial changes in their communication patterns within 3-4 weeks of conscious practice. However, deeper emotional intelligence development is an ongoing process. Research suggests that significant, sustainable improvement typically takes 6-12 months of consistent effort. Think of it like physical fitness—quick changes come fast, but lasting transformation requires commitment over time. The good news is that even small improvements in EQ create noticeable positive impacts in your relationships and career.\n\n### Q: Can you have high emotional intelligence but still struggle with anxiety or depression?\n\nA: Absolutely. Emotional intelligence and mental health are related but distinct. You can be highly attuned to emotions (both yours and others'), skilled at communication, and empathetic, while still experiencing clinical anxiety or depression. In fact, some research suggests that people with high EQ may be more vulnerable to emotional overwhelm because they're so aware of emotional dynamics. If you're struggling with mental health, high EQ can be an asset in your healing process, but it's not a replacement for professional treatment when needed.\n\n### Q: How do I respond when someone uses these low-EQ phrases with me?\n\nA: The most emotionally intelligent response is usually direct but compassionate. You might say: \"When you said \\[phrase\\], I felt \\[emotion\\]. What I need instead is \\[specific request\\].\" For example: \"When you said 'you're overreacting,' I felt dismissed. What I need is for you to help me understand your perspective while also acknowledging that this situation matters to me.\" This approach educates them about the impact without attacking them, which often leads to better outcomes than defensive reactions.\n\nYour vocabulary is a window into your emotional intelligence—and more importantly, it's a tool you can actively refine to build stronger, more authentic relationships. The phrases emotionally intelligent people avoid aren't just about being \"politically correct\" or overly cautious. They're about recognizing that words have real impact, and choosing language that opens doors rather than closes them.\n\nStart with one phrase from this list. Pay attention to when you're tempted to use it, pause, and try the alternative. Notice what happens. You'll likely find that small shifts in language create surprisingly significant changes in how people respond to you—at work, at home, and everywhere in between.\n\nBecause here's what high emotional intelligence really comes down to: It's not about being perfect. It's about being aware, intentional, and willing to keep learning. And that starts with the words you choose.\n\n### Related Articles:\n\n* [4 Hacks for Effective Communication in The Workplace](https://www.workingal.com/articles/4-hacks-for-effective-communication-in-the-workplace)  \n* [How to Avoid Conflicts at Work](https://www.workingal.com/articles/how-to-avoid-conflicts-at-work-1)  \n* [The Science of Self-Talk: How Your Inner Voice Shapes Your Career](https://www.workingal.com/articles/science-of-self-talk)  \n* [I Stopped Scrolling In The Morning And Good Things Have Happened](https://www.workingal.com/articles/i-stop-scrolling-in-the-morning)\n\n\n","are-you-emotionally-intelligent-your-vocabulary-can-reveal-it",3,"emotional intelligence, emotionally intelligent people, emotional intelligence, high EQ, phrases to avoid, communication skills","Discover 8 phrases emotionally intelligent people never use and learn what to say instead. Improve your EQ with these communication strategies. Updated 2025.","2024-10-31","2024-10-30T23:29:26.575Z","2025-11-14T23:50:50.784Z","2024-10-30T23:53:31.495Z",{"id":284,"documentId":285,"name":286,"alternativeText":287,"caption":287,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":288,"hash":317,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":318,"url":319,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":320,"updatedAt":320,"publishedAt":320},194,"me6prpwhb82s65ssgz1xmyc7","emotionally intelligence vocabulary-26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp","emotionally intelligence vocabulary",{"large":289,"small":296,"medium":303,"thumbnail":310},{"ext":64,"url":290,"etag":291,"hash":292,"mime":68,"name":293,"path":52,"size":294,"width":118,"height":238,"sizeInBytes":295},"https://assets.workingal.com/large_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp","7ca857cc0f2e86534aa94b34f44a3360","large_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271","large_emotionally intelligence vocabulary-26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp",21.42,21420,{"ext":64,"url":297,"etag":298,"hash":299,"mime":68,"name":300,"path":52,"size":301,"width":127,"height":128,"sizeInBytes":302},"https://assets.workingal.com/small_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp","cb281ada0336f788ef6ba5dc0ee23e4f","small_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271","small_emotionally intelligence vocabulary-26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp",7.48,7476,{"ext":64,"url":304,"etag":305,"hash":306,"mime":68,"name":307,"path":52,"size":308,"width":136,"height":137,"sizeInBytes":309},"https://assets.workingal.com/medium_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp","6da136484e4a81d6ac79f675b58cecbd","medium_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271","medium_emotionally intelligence vocabulary-26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp",13.68,13676,{"ext":64,"url":311,"etag":312,"hash":313,"mime":68,"name":314,"path":52,"size":315,"width":145,"height":146,"sizeInBytes":316},"https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp","1e5d6d1732c1ba4b8259861a6e447722","thumbnail_emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271","thumbnail_emotionally intelligence vocabulary-26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp",2.6,2604,"emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271",53.23,"https://assets.workingal.com/emotionally_intelligence_vocabulary_26ddc908cb874e2bae69fb45584cd7f82993fe95bc598542cc1410418dd44271.webp","2026-09-06T10:34:12.707Z",{"id":36,"documentId":37,"name":38,"slug":39,"createdAt":153,"updatedAt":153,"publishedAt":154},{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":323},{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":324,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},{"thumbnail":325},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},{"id":327,"documentId":328,"title":329,"content":330,"slug":331,"coffees":26,"seo_title":329,"keywords":332,"seo_desc":333,"bylineDate":279,"bylineTimezone":98,"createdAt":334,"updatedAt":335,"publishedAt":336,"featuredImage":337,"category":375,"author":376,"img":373},356,"sow2fslaxk6cjd9b6xgv4tzu","Self-sabotage: The Signs That You Undermine Your Relationships","****\n\nSelf-sabotage in our relationships often passes **unnoticed,** and we pay little attention to it. It is a behavior in which we hinder our success, consciously or unconsciously. It is as if we ourselves put obstacles in our way, preventing the achievement of our goals.\n\nAccording to psychology, self-sabotage can stem from insecurities, fears, or past traumas and create barriers to healthy communication and connection with others.\n\n## Why are we doing this?\n\nThe reasons leading to self-sabotage are varied and may include:\n\n**Fear of success:** We may fear that success will bring greater responsibilities, change us as individuals, or require us to deal with greater commitments and obligations.\n\n**Low self-esteem:** We may think we're not good enough to succeed; hence, we don't deserve success and believe we will ultimately fail.\n\n**Effort to confirm our negative beliefs:** We may have negative beliefs about ourselves and look for evidence to confirm them, the so-called confirmation bias.\n\n**Fear of failure:** Paradoxically, we may be so afraid of failure that we cause situations that lead us to it, aka we fall into the trap of self-fulfilling prophecy.\n\n**Defenses:** We may use self-sabotage as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from the pain of frustration.\n\n## How Does Self-sabotage Manifest?\n\n![signs of self-sabotage](https://assets.workingal.com/signs_of_self_sabotage_ad61398c50.webp)\n\nEven if it is not noticed easily, there are ways that self-sabotage can manifest itself, including:\n\n### 1\\. Fear of intimacy\n\nThe fear of getting too close emotionally to others can cause us to avoid connecting with our partner. Fear of rejection or emotional exposure is often the cause. According to research from the [Journal of Social and Personal Relationships](https://journals.sagepub.com/home/spr), people who fear intimacy tend to develop defense mechanisms that undermine their relationships.\n\n### 2\\. Excessive self-criticism\n\nConstant self-criticism can lower our self-esteem, leading us to believe we do not deserve love. Research shows that people with low self-esteem tend to sabotage their relationships by projecting their insecure feelings onto their partner.\n\n### 3\\. Procrastination in critical conversations\n\nAvoiding critical conversations can create accumulated problems, later becoming obstacles in the relationship. This postponement shows a lack of confidence and a fear of dealing with problems.\n\n### 4\\. Tendency for drama\n\nUnconsciously creating conflict can be a way to avoid intimacy or affirm our insecurities. Research from the [American Psychological Association](https://www.apa.org/) shows that creating dramatic situations can be a form of self-defense when we fear rejection.\n\n### 5\\. Conflict avoidance\n\nFear of conflict can cause us to avoid expressing our true feelings, which can create distance. Lack of communication is one of the most common causes of relationship failure.\n\n![signs of self-sabotage](https://assets.workingal.com/signs_of_self_sabotage_66e31fee98.webp)\n\n### 6\\. Perfectionism\n\nThe need for everything to look perfect can sabotage the natural flow of the relationship. Research shows that the obsession with perfection is associated with stress and pressure in our relationships.\n\n### 7\\. Doubt and jealousy\n\nExcessive jealousy and doubts towards the partner can lead to tension and distancing. Research shows that jealousy stems from a lack of self-confidence and can erode trust within the relationship.\n\nIn order to be able to deal with self-sabotage, it’s essential to cultivate and develop self-awareness and opt for better communication with others, which are the first steps to building balanced and meaningful connections.\n","self-sabotage-the-signs-that-you-undermine-your-relationships","self-sabotage, self-destructive behavior, fear of failure, sabotage","In this article, our psychologist reveals the signs of self-sabotage that could ruin your relationships with the people around you. Read them and take care of yourself!","2024-10-30T23:28:32.862Z","2024-10-30T23:46:52.538Z","2024-10-30T23:46:52.536Z",{"id":338,"documentId":339,"name":340,"alternativeText":341,"caption":341,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":342,"hash":371,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":372,"url":373,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":374,"updatedAt":374,"publishedAt":374},193,"dppr9sbdz5hx66xqz7iipv0g","signs of self-sabotage-ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp","signs of self-sabotage",{"large":343,"small":350,"medium":357,"thumbnail":364},{"ext":64,"url":344,"etag":345,"hash":346,"mime":68,"name":347,"path":52,"size":348,"width":118,"height":238,"sizeInBytes":349},"https://assets.workingal.com/large_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp","bfa9b44c407bfe3a0bfde38755e2db78","large_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f","large_signs of self-sabotage-ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp",126.65,126652,{"ext":64,"url":351,"etag":352,"hash":353,"mime":68,"name":354,"path":52,"size":355,"width":127,"height":128,"sizeInBytes":356},"https://assets.workingal.com/small_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp","7dca52fd3eb62630cc77f0cd16095467","small_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f","small_signs of self-sabotage-ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp",35.56,35558,{"ext":64,"url":358,"etag":359,"hash":360,"mime":68,"name":361,"path":52,"size":362,"width":136,"height":137,"sizeInBytes":363},"https://assets.workingal.com/medium_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp","74adca70220248bcc2a823c636254519","medium_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f","medium_signs of self-sabotage-ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp",75.68,75680,{"ext":64,"url":365,"etag":366,"hash":367,"mime":68,"name":368,"path":52,"size":369,"width":145,"height":146,"sizeInBytes":370},"https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp","bb3474d5fbe8b4a5df775d44aa17a8e1","thumbnail_signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f","thumbnail_signs of self-sabotage-ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp",9.2,9202,"signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f",355.65,"https://assets.workingal.com/signs_of_self_sabotage_ffb134da467688a00d74fd57799e9e96ae047c018e246695ce3d400e25a7ae7f.webp","2026-09-06T10:34:11.937Z",{"id":36,"documentId":37,"name":38,"slug":39,"createdAt":153,"updatedAt":153,"publishedAt":154},{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":377},{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":378,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},{"thumbnail":379},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},{"id":381,"documentId":382,"title":383,"content":384,"slug":385,"coffees":276,"seo_title":383,"keywords":386,"seo_desc":387,"bylineDate":388,"bylineTimezone":98,"createdAt":389,"updatedAt":390,"publishedAt":391,"featuredImage":392,"category":430,"author":431,"img":428},350,"x2q57cldi3fdqqcuztqgyavj","The Art of Failure: How to Turn Mistakes into Actual Success","****\nOne of the biggest fears I had in my life was failure. It has always been an obstacle for my **development** and I dreaded the time that I would fail, whatever fail meant in the particular time: I feared that I would get a bad grade at school, I feared that I would be reprimanded for not being able to tidy my room on time, or I was terrified every time I had to deliver a project that they would return it back, giving me feedback that I failed. What a life, huh?\n\nHowever, no matter how hard we try, failure is inevitable, and it’s almost certain that we will face it sometime in our lives, whether it’s something important like failing a language test or something small, like failing to keep your promise to a loved one about something.\n\nFailure is generally considered a **negative outcome**, and most of us think it’s unnecessary. However, the fear of failure can be even more destructive and have a more _severe impact_ on our lives. The fear of failure hides feelings of low esteem and increased anxiety that can worsen if we don’t accept the fact that we will fail at some point. P[erfectionism and lower productivity](https://www.workingal.com/articles/perfectionism-at-work-how-to-manage-it-and-increase-your-productivity) are also common situations caused by our fear of failure.\n\nHowever, if we take a step back and reflect on failure, then we can have one of the greatest teachers. Learning to accept failure can help us turn it into a powerful tool for self-improvement and personal growth that can lead us to success (add whatever you think of success for you here).\n\n![how to turn failure into success 1.jpg](https://assets.workingal.com/how_to_turn_failure_into_success_1_3e8bf2a86b.jpg)\n\nFailure often makes us feel inadequate, but in reality, it is proof that we tried. Failures help us learn, evolve, and ultimately find new ways to achieve our goals. Think of the most successful people: Their failure was not the end, but the starting point for something bigger.\n\nTake Oprah Winfrey as an example: most people know her as one of the most **iconic faces on TV** and one of the richest and most successful women in the world. However, her road was not all roses since she faced a lot of challenges throughout her route, from a rough and often abusive childhood and numerous career setbacks, including being fired from her job as a television reporter because she was _“unfit for TV.”_\n\nAlso, another terrific example of using failure as a powerhouse for success was [Merilyn Monroe, an inspirational person](https://www.workingal.com/articles/inspirational-women-marilyn-monroe) still considered one of the most influential women on earth. While Monroe’s star burned out early, her great success is indisputable. However, Monroe experienced a rough upbringing, and she was told by modeling agents that she should instead consider being a secretary. She didn’t give up, though; she became a pin-up model and actress and despite her sudden and early death, she is still relevant.\n\nAnd if you are not yet convinced about the importance of embracing failure, then remember what you used to watch on TV when you were a kid: Disney, right? Could you ever imagine how your childhood would be without Disney movies? Well, I guess you couldn’t. However, what is worth mentioning is that Walt Disney himself had a bit of a bumpy start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because _“he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”_ After his firing, Disney started several businesses that didn’t last too long and ended with bankruptcy. However, he never stopped and he found his recipe for success.\n\nAnd what did he think of failure?\n\n### “I think it’s important to have a good hard failure when you’re young… Because it makes you kind of aware of what can happen to you. Because of it, I’ve never had any fear in my whole life when we’ve been near collapse and all of that. I’ve never been afraid.”\n\n# How to Turn Failure into A Lesson\n\n![how to turn failure into success 2.jpg](https://assets.workingal.com/how_to_turn_failure_into_success_2_5626c7ff87.jpg)\n\n## 1\\. Embrace Your Emotions\n\nIt's perfectly normal to feel **frustrated** after a failure. But instead of trying to ignore these feelings, accept them. This is the first step to moving forward. The goal is **NOT** to never be disappointed again -because it’s inevitable that you will- but to learn how to manage disappointment effectively. Life has ups and downs, and you cannot completely predict or control the future. Nobody can **guarantee** you that you won’t fail again, but the earlier you acknowledge that, the more effective it will be to embrace your emotions and move forward.\n\n## 2\\. Acknowledge What Went Wrong\n\nEvery failure you experience is always an **opportunity** for you to learn something. Disengage yourself from the situation (which will be easier when you acknowledge and accept your feelings) and try to see the situation from a distance. Then, analyze what went wrong. Was it a lack of preparation, the wrong approach, or external factors you could not control? When you understand what happened, you will be able to avoid the same **mistakes** in the future. For instance, if you failed to deliver a project on time, you can sit and jot down all the factors that contributed to the failure. Did you manage the expectations of the stakeholders properly? Did you hire the right people for the right job? Maybe there was an **unexpected delay** that couldn’t be controlled. Write those down and understand what happened and what you could have done differently. Next time, you will be prepared.\n\n## 3\\. Learn from the Greats\n\n![how to turn failure into success 3.jpg](https://assets.workingal.com/how_to_turn_failure_into_success_3_9b0b785916.jpg)\n\nAs a general advice, keep in mind that **people before us** have probably made the same mistakes and have equally failed. For this reason, it’s very helpful to learn about them, their failures, and how they managed to turn them into success. Study the stories of those people who succeed despite their failures and get inspiration from them. Countless people have failed, yet they turned it into successful and profitable businesses. From Steve Jobs to Winston Churchill to J.K. Rawling and Abraham Lincoln, great leaders and **innovators** faced many failures before they succeeded. These stories can inspire you to keep going.\n\n## 4\\. Start Again with a New Strategy\n\nEvery failure is an opportunity for a new **approach**. That said, after learning from your mistake, make a new plan and try again. Also, notice the pattern every time you fail. Do you follow the same steps? Do you keep moving based on a specific strategy? Maybe the problem is that you do not change your plan and strategy and fall into the trap of not recognizing the cause of failure.\n\nFailure is inevitable, but what really matters is our reaction to it. Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity and keep trying. The more we learn to embrace our failures, the more we develop resilience. Never forget that failure is not a sign of weakness, but a step towards growth.\n\n","the-art-of-failure-how-to-turn-mistakes-into-actual-success","failure, turn failure into success, what to do in a failure, what to do if I failed, successful failures","Can failure be the path to future success? 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However, you still struggle with your to-do lists and your errands, and you wonder why this is happening.\n\nWell, that's probably because you keep doing things you are not supposed to do, which keeps you from being productive.\n\nKeeping higher levels of productivity is important for our professional and personal lives. Productivity keeps us up and running, allowing us to accomplish our tasks more quickly and efficiently and helping us feel less stressed and overwhelmed. [Data show](https://www.andrews.edu/life/student-movement/issues/2023-11-03/pulse-productivity-success.html#:~:text=Overall%2C%20success%20is%20seen%20as,people%20are%20seen%20as%20successful.) that productive people tend to be more successful and achieve more fulfilling careers. Ultimately, being productive requires time, effort, and concrete boundaries to protect our time in a professional and personal context.\n\nSo, if you find yourself doing some of the following things, then maybe this is why you are not as productive as you think you are and, hence, not reaching your **goals**.\n\n# 1\\. Pretty, little errands\n\nBeing helpful is always nice and can bring great fulfillment and enjoyment. However, if you are everyone's favorite “go-to” person for asking for a favor, you should probably reconsider. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you will keep [saying “no” to everyone](https://www.workingal.com/articles/50-ways-to-say-no-politely) asking for a favor, but it does mean [setting boundaries](https://www.workingal.com/articles/how-to-set-and-preserve-boundaries) on what you can do and what you cannot. For instance, if a specific colleague keeps delegating tasks that are far beyond your workload, you can always **refuse** to accept that if this means that you have to work longer hours or leave your tasks behind. The same applies to your personal life. While it’s amazing to be able to make other people happy and support them by making their lives easier, it’s equally important to take care of yourself and your priorities. If you keep making others' lives easier, then you probably put yourself in the corner and deprive yourself of your **success**.\n\n![5 things to say no in order to be productive.jpg](https://assets.workingal.com/blog_900x550_14_175ccb21c5.jpg)\n# 2\\. Five more minutes\n\nThere is a myth that those _“5 minutes more”_ are indeed five minutes. Well, there are not. Five minutes are rarely actually five; they are more like half an hour or maybe an hour! That means that it's much more each time you tell yourself “5 more minutes” to get out of bed. Get out of bed immediately without any delay, there is no such thing as five minutes. The same applies to work: if your colleague wants to talk to you to explain something for “5 more minutes,” then it will probably **cost more of your time**. Deny politely or explain that the time has passed already and move forward with your tasks. Also, things that can be told in 5 minutes can be equally written in an **email**. Keep that in mind.\n\n# 3\\. What’s the harm in one more beer?\n\nOh, there is harm, and you know it, not in the beer per se, but in the [lack of self-discipline](https://www.workingal.com/articles/self-discipline-7-proven-ways), which keeps you **behind** and prevents you from accomplishing your goals. If you are not able to set boundaries to one more beer, cocktail, or glass of wine, then the one glass can become two, three, or… ten. Imagine how much time and money you would save if you had **concrete boundaries** and knew when to stop. Of course, it’s always a good idea to go out for drinks and socialize with your friends and colleagues, but it is also essential to know that you don’t have to do it every day, especially if you are working on your goals, for a promotion or for whatever reason you are working on.\n\n# 4\\. Tattletale & not chill\n\n![5 things to say no in order to be productive.jpg](https://assets.workingal.com/blog_900x550_15_618b818b1a.jpg)\n\nCould a minute of **gossip** make your life better? No, it definitely cannot. Engaging in gossip can divert your attention from more productive activities. It can get you into a negative mindset since gossiping is not only sharing things about others; it’s often accompanied by criticism and sharing private information without the person's consent, which can be considered a breach of trust. Gossiping is a complete waste of time and offers **nothing positive** to your life. Why should you start focusing on yours rather than talking and worrying about other people’s lives? The results will surprise you!\n\n# 5\\. Party animal\n\nParties and events are the salt of pepper of our social lives, and attending events that are important and interesting to you is important. Life is not only about work, and it’s essential to **relax** and reboot, especially when working at a fast pace. However, saying yes to every single invitation you get will eventually have the opposite effect. Being out and about constantly, you lose time not only from your goals and aspirations but also from your relaxation. Resist the urge to accept the **gallery opening** that you are not interested in or drink with a colleague that is a bit annoying, and attend only events that are good for you. Don’t succumb to the **FOMO**, and ensure that your social life is quality and brings you joy without wasting your time.","5-things-you-need-to-say-no-to-to-be-more-productive","5 Things You Need To Say No To To Be More Productive","things to make you more productive, productivity hacks, how to say no to be productive, productivity tips, ","If you are working on your goals but still are not reaching them, then maybe you need to say no to the things you are doing and keeping you from being your most productive self.","2024-09-10","2024-09-10T20:16:17.374Z","2024-09-10T20:24:59.477Z","2024-09-10T20:24:59.474Z",{"id":449,"documentId":450,"name":451,"alternativeText":60,"caption":452,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":453,"hash":481,"ext":111,"mime":115,"size":482,"url":483,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":484,"updatedAt":484,"publishedAt":484},172,"r8lv4shm93ko79br9cgsw8n2","5 things to say no in order to be 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Menu: Can This Method Help You Feel Better?","****\n\nHow would you feel if we told you that you could prepare yourself a (non-edible!) made-to-measure menu entirely made up of things you love and with the sole purpose of making you feel better?\n\n## That's the concept of the dopamine menu, the new viral TikTok trend for unplugging from social media\n\nOnce again, TikTok is responsible for another trend. While the concept has been around for several years, it has become an ultra-viral phenomenon on our favorite video-sharing platform over the last few weeks. Users, even celebrities like Eva Longoria, are now sharing what makes up their **“dopamine menu.”**\n\n## But what is the dopamine menu, and why should you choose this method?\n\nDopamine, also known as the “feel-good” hormone, is associated with the feeling of pleasure and motivation to seek out pleasure; think of it as a reward system. Healthy dopamine levels can help you feel **happy, motivated and energized.** On the other hand, when dopamine levels are low, you’ll likely feel tired, sad, or unmotivated.\n\nIn the wake of the digital detox craze, the “dopamine menu” trend is establishing itself as a new way of thinking about our use of **social networks** and prioritizing our **well-being**. Rather than scrolling all day long, curled up in bed, the concept is to prepare a list of activities that make us feel good, keep us occupied differently, and stimulate the happiness hormone more healthily and beneficially. The idea of a “dopamine menu” is to increase dopamine and boost pleasure or joy when you need it. For instance, when you need the motivation to jump out of bed in the morning.\n\nInitially designed for people suffering from attention deficit disorder (ADHD) -with or without hyperactivity- this method enables them to rediscover **daily hobbies** other than using their phones. Neuroscientist and Brain Health Consultant Nicole Vignola explains, _“When you use your phone, especially for social networking, gaming or messaging, your brain gets a little shot of dopamine every time something interesting or rewarding happens.”_ Getting used to these **instant doses** of the pleasure hormone can lead to addiction. To break out of this loop, the specialist believes that the “dopamine menu,” which allows you to find other rewarding activities that aren't scrolling, is a perfect idea.\n\n# How to prepare your “dopamine menu”\n\nIf you'd like to spend less time online or simply relax away from what you seem to be doing all the time, here are some ideas for putting together your own personalized menu. Enjoy!\n\n## Appetizer\n\nThe starter is a relatively simple and quick activity requiring little time for a quick **dopamine** **shot**. It could be listening to your favorite songs while dancing, making your bed, sunbathing, doing your skincare routine, calling someone you love, etc.\n\n## Main course\n\n![dopamine menu.webp](https://assets.workingal.com/dopamine_menu_b00abef392.webp)\n\nThe main course is, by definition, more substantial, a more prolonged moment that can take an hour or two. Once again, you're free to find what suits you best: some opt for long walks, intensive tidying up, cooking a good meal, taking a bath, and seeing a friend. It could also be learning something new (e.g., a language, a musical instrument, a new professional skill) or having a yoga session.\n\n## Sides\n\nSides add a little flavor to something else, usually our main course. They are little things that can be done while concentrating on another task, such as listening to a podcast, lighting a candle, or drinking a hot beverage while learning a new language.\n\n## Dessert\n\nFor dessert, treat yourself to a bit of pleasure you don't usually allow yourself, like scrolling for hours on TikTok on your phone, shopping online, or binge-watching a series. Do not forget that desserts are not consumed daily, which is why we enjoy them more!\n\n## Today’s Specials\n\n![dopamine menu.webp](https://assets.workingal.com/blog_900x550_14_34984bf43f.webp)\n\nMenus often feature these tempting, unique dishes. These are the chef's **recommendations**, which you can't have every day but are an absolute pleasure when you can afford them. These exceptional pleasures can take the form of a weekend away from home, tickets to a concert, or an afternoon at a spa center.\n\nOver time, the trend has evolved. Some add other dishes to the menu, such as appetizers, while others simply make a list of activities they enjoy. But the idea remains the same: to list all the little things that make us happy so that we can fill our days differently and find inspiration to do something else.\n\n### So, how about dopamine-meal-prepping your week?","dopamine-menu-can-this-method-help-you-feel-better","dopamine menu, dopamenu, dopa menu, dopamine diet menu, dopamine menu for adhd, dopamine menu ideas","If you are looking to keep your dopamine levels up, try the dopamine menu method and give a boost to your energy, motivation and focus.","2024-09-04","2024-09-04T00:10:52.410Z","2024-09-04T00:16:48.383Z","2024-09-04T00:16:48.380Z",{"id":503,"documentId":504,"name":505,"alternativeText":60,"caption":506,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":507,"hash":536,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":537,"url":538,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":539,"updatedAt":539,"publishedAt":539},165,"m1epwxoeqowetqcfqe6takx8","dopamine menu-964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp","dopamine menu",{"large":508,"small":515,"medium":522,"thumbnail":529},{"ext":64,"url":509,"etag":510,"hash":511,"mime":68,"name":512,"path":52,"size":513,"width":118,"height":238,"sizeInBytes":514},"https://assets.workingal.com/large_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp","dee6cc25a91139a62d74c162bfe697a9","large_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b","large_dopamine menu-964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp",30.05,30052,{"ext":64,"url":516,"etag":517,"hash":518,"mime":68,"name":519,"path":52,"size":520,"width":127,"height":128,"sizeInBytes":521},"https://assets.workingal.com/small_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp","5c59d21628bdb7f0c80e3d21bbcc8cd6","small_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b","small_dopamine menu-964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp",11.43,11432,{"ext":64,"url":523,"etag":524,"hash":525,"mime":68,"name":526,"path":52,"size":527,"width":136,"height":137,"sizeInBytes":528},"https://assets.workingal.com/medium_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp","8611f930561f4d3f30fe7f08344e1738","medium_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b","medium_dopamine menu-964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp",20.28,20280,{"ext":64,"url":530,"etag":531,"hash":532,"mime":68,"name":533,"path":52,"size":534,"width":145,"height":146,"sizeInBytes":535},"https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp","5136b2ddbeadc603f947f12b29b3eceb","thumbnail_dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b","thumbnail_dopamine menu-964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp",4.25,4246,"dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b",66.13,"https://assets.workingal.com/dopamine_menu_964f8170453981be18d260b7016d31125dbec1633dcf19af398b535350ca110b.webp","2026-09-06T10:33:45.517Z",{"id":36,"documentId":37,"name":38,"slug":39,"createdAt":153,"updatedAt":153,"publishedAt":154},{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":542},{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":543,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},{"thumbnail":544},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},{"id":546,"documentId":547,"title":548,"content":549,"slug":550,"coffees":276,"seo_title":548,"keywords":551,"seo_desc":552,"bylineDate":553,"bylineTimezone":98,"createdAt":554,"updatedAt":555,"publishedAt":556,"featuredImage":557,"category":595,"author":598,"img":593},296,"xlweaksawstix7shcxy0r31k","September Career Reset: 14 Questions To Ask Yourself","****\n### September is traditionally considered the month of change\n\nMaybe it’s the passing from the warmer to the colder seasons and the change of scenery: from sunny beaches to rainy afternoons, and from our cute dresses, we change to jackets and rain boots, and we carry our umbrellas everywhere.\n\nHowever, apart from the season change, September is the ideal month to do some pre-New Year work and start organizing our lives again. It’s something like the “back-to-school feeling” we used to have as kids.\n\nA reset can take **an hour to several days** and a month, but it’s important to do it constantly because by resetting, we can locate and unblock any obstacles, whether actual or potential. Resetting our lives, our careers, and our attitudes is the best way to move forward.\n\nAs genuine **working gals**, our careers play an important role in our lives. Whether we have a job we love or we are building our careers, it’s important to take some time to reevaluate our current situation, find ways to improve, and move forward with our **career** goals.\n\nA mental reset is the perfect way to set new goals for the new season and accomplish them. Also, resetting our minds can reduce stress levels and help us [manage stress more effectively](https://www.workingal.com/articles/stress-management-these-5-techniques). Not to mention that resetting can be\n\n### The first step is to evaluate our current work situation\n\nTo do so, we need to answer some questions sincerely. Don’t worry if you don’t know where to start; we’ve got you!\n\nWe have talked with experts in the field and gathered the most important questions you should ask yourself to evaluate your current situation and your goals for the future.\n\nTake some time to write down your answers. Writing will help you organize your thoughts and make it easier to think about the questions and identify the answers.\n\n### Dedicate a Saturday morning, make a yummy coffee, and start working on your questionnaire!\n\n![September reset.webp](https://assets.workingal.com/blog_900x550_12_1_adbbda7c0e.webp)\n\n## What were your most significant accomplishments in the past season?\n\nJot down everything you accomplished the past season, from the smallest to the biggest and most important. It doesn’t matter if your accomplishment was organizing the company’s archive or bringing in a brand new client and, therefore, increasing the company’s income. All parts of work life are important!\n\n## What were the most notable challenges you faced?\n\nChallenges are an integral part of our lives, whether personal or professional. Challenges at work may include a complex project, a difficult colleague, or just a miscommunication. However, finding solutions and possible alternatives is easier when we identify the challenges.\n\n## Did your role and responsibilities change during this time? Was it a good change?\n\nIt’s essential to jot down every change regarding your role, responsibilities, and position within the company. Then, you need to evaluate whether these changes are good and whether those changes affect you in the future.\n\n## What aspects of your job did you enjoy most, and what aspects did you enjoy least?\n\nNot every aspect of our work is fun and easy. There are some things we love to do and others we do not like. Write them both down and check how many you want and how many you do not.\n\n## Are you feeling overwhelmed by your workload?\n\n![September reset.webp](https://assets.workingal.com/September_reset_f9f46a6812.webp)\n\nSometimes, even if we love our job, the workload is so heavy that it is not easy to handle; this can cause problems not only with our work-life balance but also with our performance. Identify the amount of stress your current workload causes and whether it’s affecting your performance and your personal life.\n\n## Are there any communication issues affecting your productivity?\n\nMaybe you are not productive because your ideas are not expressed, or the way the workload is structured makes it difficult for you to be as productive as you could be. Think about whether those important factors are not well communicated.\n\n## Are there any recurring problems or obstacles hindering your progress?\n\nIf you haven’t made the ideal progress so far, is there anything behind this slow process? Maybe a challenging project, a hard-to-work-with colleague, or something else?\n\n## Do you feel like your skills are being fully utilized?\n\nDo you use and take advantage of all your skills in your current role, or does the job not require you to do so? For example, if you are a great problem solver with no problems to solve, your skill is “rusting.” Do you feel like this is the case?\n\n## Are there any tasks or projects you can delegate or outsource?\n\nIf your workload is too heavy and you feel like you don’t have enough time to live a little, then instead of becoming overwhelmed, maybe you could just think whether there are tasks or projects you could delegate in order to maintain a wholesome balance.\n\n## Are there any time-wasting activities you can eliminate?\n\nThese could include unnecessary meetings, too much time spent on email communication, or a lot of events that consume a lot of your time.\n\n## Do you have clear priorities and deadlines for your tasks?\n\nSetting clear priorities as well as deadlines for your tasks is a way to organize your work life better and avoid becoming overwhelmed. Write down your priorities and the desirable deadline to carry them out. This way, you will have a clear view of what seems to be an obstacle.\n\n## How effective is your current time management system?\n\n![September reset.webp](https://assets.workingal.com/September_reset_1b4d8eb5c5.webp)\n\nMost of us believe that our time management skills are impeccable but the problem is that we have a lot on our plate. However, as many obligations we have, if we have an effective time management system then eventually we will accomplish them. Assess truthfully how you spend your time and make sure that it’s effective.\n\n## How did your work-life balance look during this period?\n\nCan you recall if you had time for your personal life, your well-being and your favorite activities or your work seemed to take most of your day? Be sincere and think about that.\n\n## Do you feel you have enough time to take care of yourself?\n\nSelf-care is vital, especially if you want to progress in your career. Taking care of yourself doesn’t only mean having time for a long bath but also nourishing yourself, to workout, and spending time with family and friends. Also, taking care of yourself means having regular appointments with your doctor to check that your health is in shape as well.","september-career-reset","career reset, how to reset my career, september goals, career reset, career restart","These are the 14 questions you need to ask yourself this September in order to reset your career.","2024-09-03","2024-09-03T01:53:11.815Z","2024-09-03T01:55:23.903Z","2024-09-03T01:55:23.901Z",{"id":558,"documentId":559,"name":560,"alternativeText":60,"caption":561,"focalPoint":52,"width":107,"height":108,"formats":562,"hash":591,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":592,"url":593,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":594,"updatedAt":594,"publishedAt":594},163,"vnzr8szmbbf5sm3d46xd0zse","September reset-8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp","September reset",{"large":563,"small":570,"medium":577,"thumbnail":584},{"ext":64,"url":564,"etag":565,"hash":566,"mime":68,"name":567,"path":52,"size":568,"width":118,"height":238,"sizeInBytes":569},"https://assets.workingal.com/large_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp","e80cacee3497dad080e5d192431c01b6","large_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4","large_September reset-8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp",46.58,46582,{"ext":64,"url":571,"etag":572,"hash":573,"mime":68,"name":574,"path":52,"size":575,"width":127,"height":128,"sizeInBytes":576},"https://assets.workingal.com/small_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp","76b7f1e54f9d0860a89fb4e89b872b3e","small_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4","small_September reset-8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp",18.76,18758,{"ext":64,"url":578,"etag":579,"hash":580,"mime":68,"name":581,"path":52,"size":582,"width":136,"height":137,"sizeInBytes":583},"https://assets.workingal.com/medium_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp","8972f499139b1fad990edc51200e50a4","medium_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4","medium_September reset-8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp",32.7,32700,{"ext":64,"url":585,"etag":586,"hash":587,"mime":68,"name":588,"path":52,"size":589,"width":145,"height":146,"sizeInBytes":590},"https://assets.workingal.com/thumbnail_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp","319817ecc35e64d693a24f499a896da2","thumbnail_September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4","thumbnail_September reset-8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp",7.11,7106,"September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4",94.03,"https://assets.workingal.com/September_reset_8a1a886bb313144c0466cc1b9a27bd1cb276475b5a638eb72deb027225565be4.webp","2026-09-06T10:33:43.774Z",{"id":26,"documentId":27,"name":28,"slug":29,"createdAt":596,"updatedAt":596,"publishedAt":597},"2026-09-06T10:31:16.599Z","2026-09-06T10:31:16.613Z",{"id":48,"documentId":49,"name":50,"slug":51,"instagram":52,"facebook":52,"bio":53,"linkedIn":52,"createdAt":54,"updatedAt":54,"publishedAt":55,"avatar":599},{"id":57,"documentId":58,"name":59,"alternativeText":60,"caption":60,"focalPoint":52,"width":61,"height":61,"formats":600,"hash":73,"ext":64,"mime":68,"size":74,"url":75,"previewUrl":52,"provider":76,"provider_metadata":52,"createdAt":77,"updatedAt":77,"publishedAt":77},{"thumbnail":601},{"ext":64,"url":65,"etag":66,"hash":67,"mime":68,"name":69,"path":52,"size":70,"width":71,"height":71,"sizeInBytes":72},{"pagination":603},{"start":604,"limit":605,"total":606},36,9,55,1788762749676]