[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"$fRdy4Ph-Pr3_YSRANo4UELfNtlCWM9i03GPoJzUPa93A":3,"$fD1TvIMI7QuEjtxrHx3NLqH9mfH1omccNNDAQPNcalGE":37,"$f88UMdWpXOPJny1nVNwJw_Gjfro7mF_It6YjXwS1Ob_c":131},{"data":4,"meta":33},[5,9,13,17,21,25,29],{"id":6,"name":7,"slug":8},1,"Career & Finance","career-and-finance",{"id":10,"name":11,"slug":12},11,"After Hours","after-hours",{"id":14,"name":15,"slug":16},3,"Wellness","wellness",{"id":18,"name":19,"slug":20},12,"Style","style",{"id":22,"name":23,"slug":24},4,"Voices","voices",{"id":26,"name":27,"slug":28},2,"Mindset","mindset",{"id":30,"name":31,"slug":32},10,"Nourish","food",{"pagination":34},{"page":6,"pageSize":35,"pageCount":6,"total":36},25,7,{"data":38,"meta":129},[39],{"id":40,"title":41,"createdAt":42,"updatedAt":43,"publishedAt":44,"content":45,"slug":46,"coffees":14,"seo_title":41,"keywords":47,"seo_desc":48,"featuredImage":49,"category":93,"author":97,"img":128},48,"How to Set and Preserve Boundaries (Without Feeling Guilty)","2021-01-26T13:59:01.895Z","2025-12-13T22:34:14.747Z","2021-01-26T14:32:39.912Z","\u003Cp>Have you ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or exhausted—without quite understanding why? You said yes to covering your colleague's shift again. You answered your mother's third call of the day even though you were in the middle of something. You \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fhow-to-avoid-late-nights-at-work\">stayed late at work\u003C\u002Fa> for the fifth time this month because someone "really needed" your help.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>If this sounds familiar, the problem might not be that you're too busy or that people ask too much of you. The problem might be boundaries—specifically, that you haven't set them, or that you struggle to maintain them.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and a healthy life. They protect your time, your energy, your mental health, and your sense of self. But for many of us—especially women, who are often socialized to be accommodating—setting boundaries feels uncomfortable, selfish, or even impossible.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It's not. Boundary-setting is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. Here's how.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>What Are Boundaries, Really?\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our well-being. They define what we're willing to accept and what we're not, what we'll tolerate and what crosses the line. As psychologist Dr. Dana Gionta explains, \u003Cem>"Having healthy boundaries means knowing and understanding what your limits are."\u003C\u002Fem>\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Think of boundaries as the fence around your property. The fence doesn't mean you don't like your neighbors or that you're antisocial. It simply defines where your space ends and theirs begins. Without that fence, anyone could wander into your garden, help themselves to your things, or set up camp in your living room. With clear boundaries, you can be a good neighbor while still protecting what's yours.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Boundaries aren't about controlling other people—you can't actually make anyone do anything. They're about defining what you will and won't accept, and what you'll do if those limits are crossed. The boundary isn't "You can't call me after 9 PM." The boundary is "I don't answer calls after 9 PM."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>The Different Types of Boundaries\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>Boundaries exist in multiple dimensions of our lives. Understanding the different types helps you identify where yours might need strengthening:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Physical boundaries involve your body and personal space. This includes who can touch you and how, how close people stand to you, and your need for physical privacy. Declining a hug from someone you're not comfortable with is setting a physical boundary. So is closing your office door \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002F7-ways-to-improve-concentration-in-everything-you-do\">when you need to focus.\u003C\u002Fa>\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Emotional boundaries protect your feelings and emotional energy. They involve taking responsibility for your own emotions while not taking responsibility for others'. An emotional boundary might be refusing to engage when someone tries to guilt-trip you, or declining to be someone's emotional dumping ground without reciprocity.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Frevenge-bedtime-procrastination\">Time boundaries\u003C\u002Fa> protect how you spend your hours and energy. They involve limits on how much time you give to others, when you're available, and what you prioritize. Not checking \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fwork-during-weekend\">work email on weekends\u003C\u002Fa> is a time boundary. So is leaving a party when you're tired instead of staying because you feel obligated.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Mental boundaries relate to your thoughts, values, and opinions. They involve the right to have your own perspectives without needing to defend or explain them constantly. A mental boundary might be declining to debate politics with a relative who argues in bad faith, or refusing to justify your life choices to people who disapprove.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Material boundaries involve your possessions and finances. They determine what you're willing to lend, give, or share. Saying no to lending money to a friend who never pays you back is a material boundary. So is not letting a roommate use your car without asking.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Digital boundaries are increasingly important in our connected world. They involve your availability via technology, your privacy online, and \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Foversharing-social-media\">how much access you give people to your digital life\u003C\u002Fa>. Not sharing your location with everyone, silencing notifications after a certain hour, or declining to follow back everyone who follows you are all digital boundaries.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>If boundaries are so important, why do so many of us struggle with them? There are several common reasons:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We weren't taught how. Many of us grew up in families where boundaries weren't modeled or respected. If your parents read your diary, walked into your room without knocking, or dismissed your feelings, you may not have learned that you're allowed to have limits—let alone how to set them.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We fear being seen as selfish. Women especially are socialized to be accommodating, nurturing, and self-sacrificing. Setting boundaries can feel like violating an unspoken rule about what "good" women do. The fear of being labeled selfish, difficult, or cold keeps many of us saying yes when we want to say no.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We're afraid of conflict. Boundaries sometimes lead to pushback, disappointment, or \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fhow-to-avoid-conflicts-at-work-1\">conflict\u003C\u002Fa>. If you're conflict-averse, the discomfort of setting a boundary can feel worse than the discomfort of not having one—at least in the short term.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We feel guilty. Guilt is one of the biggest obstacles to boundary-setting. We feel guilty saying no to our parents, our friends, our colleagues, even strangers. We feel responsible for other people's feelings and reactions. We worry that setting a limit means we don't care.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cimg src=\"https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Fboundaries_2_45b14d264f.jpg\" alt=\"boundaries-2.jpg\">\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We don't know what we need. Sometimes we struggle with boundaries because we genuinely don't know what our limits are. If you've spent years accommodating others, you may have lost touch with your own needs and preferences. You can't set boundaries around limits you haven't identified.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>Signs Your Boundaries Need Work\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>How do you know if your boundaries need strengthening? Dr. Gionta identifies two key feelings as "red flags": discomfort and resentment. If you frequently feel either—especially at a level of 6 or higher on a scale of 1 to 10—it's worth examining whether a boundary is being crossed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>Other signs include:\u003C\u002Fem>\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cul>\n\u003Cli>You frequently feel overwhelmed, drained, or burned out  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You say yes when \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002F50-ways-to-say-no-politely\">you want to say no\u003C\u002Fa>  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You feel resentful toward people you're helping  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You feel taken advantage of or unappreciated  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You avoid certain people because interactions leave you depleted  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You feel like you're constantly putting others' needs before your own  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You feel guilty or anxious about having needs at all  \u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003Cli>You've lost touch with what you actually want\u003C\u002Fli>\n\u003C\u002Ful>\n\u003Cp>If several of these resonate, it's time to start setting some boundaries.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>How to Actually Set Boundaries\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>Step 1: Identify your limits.\u003Cbr>Before you can communicate boundaries, you need to know what they are. Pay attention to situations that leave you feeling resentful, drained, or uncomfortable. What specifically bothers you? What would you need to feel better? Your feelings are data—they're telling you where your limits are being exceeded.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Step 2: Decide what you will do.\u003Cbr>Remember: boundaries are about your actions, not controlling others. Instead of "My mother needs to stop calling me five times a day," think "I will answer my mother's calls once per day and let the others go to voicemail." You can't control what others do; you can only control your response.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Step 3: Communicate clearly and directly.\u003Cbr>When you need to express a boundary to someone, be clear and direct. You don't need to over-explain or justify yourself. A simple statement of what you need is often enough. "I'm not available for calls after 8 PM." "I can't take on additional projects this month." "I need you to ask before borrowing my things."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Step 4: Follow through consistently.\u003Cbr>A boundary you don't enforce isn't a boundary—it's a suggestion. If you've said you won't answer calls after 8 PM, don't answer calls after 8 PM. If you've said you can't take on \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Foverworked-and-underpaid\">extra work\u003C\u002Fa>, don't take on extra work. Inconsistency teaches people that your boundaries aren't real.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Step 5: Start small.\u003Cbr>If boundary-setting is new to you, start with smaller, lower-stakes situations. Practice saying no to things that don't matter much before tackling the bigger issues. Building this skill gradually makes it easier to use when the stakes are higher.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>What to Actually Say: Scripts for Common Situations\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>One of the hardest parts of boundary-setting is knowing what words to use. Here are some scripts for common situations:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>Setting Boundaries At Work:\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When asked to take on more than you can handle:\u003C\u002Fem> "I'd like to help, but I'm at capacity with my current projects. If this is a priority, can we discuss what I should deprioritize to make room for it?"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When interrupted during focused work:\u003C\u002Fem> "I'm in the middle of something right now. Can we schedule time to discuss this later?"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When contacted outside work hours:\u003C\u002Fem> "I don't check work messages after 6 PM, but I'll respond first thing tomorrow morning."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>Setting Boundaries With Family:\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When receiving unsolicited advice or \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fcriticism-at-the-workplace-can-you-handle-it\">criticism\u003C\u002Fa>:\u003C\u002Fem> "I appreciate that you care, but I'm not looking for advice on this right now."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When pressured to attend events:\u003C\u002Fem> "I won't be able to make it this time, but I hope you have a wonderful time."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When asked intrusive questions:\u003C\u002Fem> "I'd rather not discuss that" or "That's not something I'm comfortable sharing."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>Setting Boundaries In Friendships:\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When someone is venting excessively:\u003C\u002Fem> "I want to support you, but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Can we take a break from this topic for now?"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When asked to lend money (again):\u003C\u002Fem> "I'm not in a position to lend money right now."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When plans keep getting changed last-minute:\u003C\u002Fem> "I've noticed our plans often change at the last minute. Going forward, I need us to commit to plans by [time\u002Fday], or I'll assume we're not meeting."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>Setting Boundaries In Romantic Relationships:\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When needing alone time:\u003C\u002Fem> "I need some time to myself tonight to recharge. It's not about you—it's something I need to feel my best."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cem>When a topic is off-limits:\u003C\u002Fem> "I'm not willing to discuss [topic] in that way. If you'd like to talk about it calmly, I'm open to that, but I'll leave the conversation if it becomes [heated\u002Fcritical\u002Fetc.]."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>When People Push Back\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>Not everyone will respect your boundaries immediately—especially if you haven't had them before. Some people will test them, push back, or try to guilt you into backing down. This is normal, and it doesn't mean your boundary is wrong.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>When someone pushes back, you don't need to argue, justify, or defend yourself at length. You can simply repeat your boundary calmly: "I understand, but I'm not available after 8 PM." If they continue pushing, you can end the conversation: "I've told you what I need. I'm not going to discuss this further."\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Remember that how someone reacts to your boundary tells you a lot about them. People who respect you will ultimately respect your limits—even if they're initially disappointed. People who consistently violate your boundaries after you've clearly communicated them are showing you that they don't respect your needs. That's important information.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Also remember: you're allowed to set boundaries even if other people don't like them. Their discomfort with your boundary doesn't mean your boundary is wrong. You're not responsible for managing their reaction.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>Boundaries Are Self-Care\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>Setting boundaries isn't selfish—it's essential self-care. Research consistently shows that poor boundaries are associated with higher rates of burnout, anxiety, and depression. Conversely, people with healthy boundaries report higher self-esteem, better relationships, and improved mental health.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>When you protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being, you have more to give to the things and people that actually matter to you. You show up as a better friend, partner, colleague, and family member because you're not running on empty. Boundaries don't diminish your relationships—they protect them.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And here's something important: boundaries aren't just a sign of a healthy relationship. They're a sign of self-respect. By setting limits, you're telling yourself that your needs matter, that your time has value, that you're worth protecting. That message is as important for you to hear as it is for anyone else.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>Give Yourself Permission\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Cp>If you've struggled with boundaries, you might be waiting for permission to set them. Here it is: You are allowed to have limits. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to put your needs on the list—not last, but somewhere in the middle at least.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>You're allowed to not answer every call, not accept every invitation, not take on every task. You're allowed to leave parties early, decline to \u003Ca href=\"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fhow-to-argue\">engage in arguments\u003C\u002Fa>, and protect your peace. You're allowed to change your mind, to decide something no longer works for you, to grow into new boundaries as your life changes.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Setting boundaries will feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you're not used to it. You'll probably feel guilty. Some people might be disappointed or upset. These feelings don't mean you're doing something wrong—they're just part of learning a new skill.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003Cimg src=\"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fboundaries_3_c27ad31f67.jpg\" alt=\"boundaries-3.jpg\">\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Start small. Practice. Be patient with yourself. And remember: every time you set and maintain a boundary, you're building a life that reflects what you actually need—not just what everyone else wants from you.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch2>Frequently Asked Questions\u003C\u002Fh2>\n\u003Ch3>How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>Guilt is normal when you first start setting boundaries, especially if you've been a people-pleaser. Remind yourself that boundaries are necessary for healthy relationships, not a sign of selfishness. Start with small boundaries to build confidence. Over time, as you experience the benefits of having limits, the guilt typically diminishes.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>What if someone doesn't respect my boundaries?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>First, make sure you've communicated your boundary clearly. If someone continues to violate your boundary after you've clearly stated it, you need to follow through with consequences—this might mean ending conversations, limiting contact, or in serious cases, reconsidering the relationship. A boundary without consequences is just a suggestion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>How do I set boundaries with family members?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>Family boundaries are often the hardest because of long-established dynamics and expectations. Be clear and direct, but choose your timing. You don't need to justify your boundaries extensively—a simple statement of what you need is enough. Expect some pushback initially, and stay consistent. It may take time for family members to adjust to your new limits.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>Is it okay to have different boundaries with different people?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>Absolutely. Your boundaries will naturally differ based on the relationship, the level of trust, and the context. You might share personal information with close friends that you wouldn't share with colleagues. You might have stricter time boundaries with acquaintances than with your partner. Tailoring your boundaries to different relationships is healthy and appropriate.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>What's the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>A boundary is about your own behavior—what you will or won't accept and what you'll do in response. An ultimatum is an attempt to control someone else's behavior through threats. "I won't answer calls after 9 PM" is a boundary. "If you call me after 9 PM, we're done" is closer to an ultimatum. Boundaries focus on your actions; ultimatums focus on the other person's.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>Can boundaries change over time?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>Yes, and they should. Your boundaries will evolve as your life circumstances, relationships, and needs change. A boundary that was important five years ago might not be relevant now, and new boundaries might become necessary. Regularly checking in with yourself about what you need is part of maintaining healthy boundaries throughout your life.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Ch3>How do I know if my boundaries are too rigid or too loose?\u003C\u002Fh3>\n\u003Cp>Boundaries that are too rigid might prevent intimacy—you might feel isolated or have difficulty letting people in. Boundaries that are too loose leave you feeling depleted, resentful, or taken advantage of. Healthy boundaries are flexible: you can adjust them based on context and relationship while still protecting your core needs.\u003C\u002Fp>\n","how-to-set-and-preserve-boundaries","how to set boundaries, setting healthy boundaries, boundary setting, boundaries in relationships, work boundaries, how to say no, maintaining boundaries, personal boundaries","Struggling to set boundaries? Learn how to identify your limits, communicate them clearly, and handle pushback—with scripts for work, family, and relationships.",{"id":50,"name":51,"alternativeText":52,"caption":52,"width":53,"height":54,"formats":55,"hash":87,"ext":57,"mime":60,"size":88,"url":89,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":91,"updatedAt":92},95,"set-boundaries.jpg","",1600,900,{"large":56,"small":66,"medium":73,"thumbnail":80},{"ext":57,"url":58,"hash":59,"mime":60,"name":61,"path":62,"size":63,"width":64,"height":65},".jpg","https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flarge_set_boundaries_04931f9f69.jpg","large_set_boundaries_04931f9f69","image\u002Fjpeg","large_set-boundaries.jpg",null,27.1,1000,563,{"ext":57,"url":67,"hash":68,"mime":60,"name":69,"path":62,"size":70,"width":71,"height":72},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fsmall_set_boundaries_04931f9f69.jpg","small_set_boundaries_04931f9f69","small_set-boundaries.jpg",8.96,500,281,{"ext":57,"url":74,"hash":75,"mime":60,"name":76,"path":62,"size":77,"width":78,"height":79},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fmedium_set_boundaries_04931f9f69.jpg","medium_set_boundaries_04931f9f69","medium_set-boundaries.jpg",16.58,750,422,{"ext":57,"url":81,"hash":82,"mime":60,"name":83,"path":62,"size":84,"width":85,"height":86},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_set_boundaries_04931f9f69.jpg","thumbnail_set_boundaries_04931f9f69","thumbnail_set-boundaries.jpg",3.37,245,138,"set_boundaries_04931f9f69",59.59,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fset_boundaries_04931f9f69.jpg","aws-s3","2021-01-26T13:45:13.155Z","2021-01-26T13:45:13.185Z",{"id":26,"name":27,"slug":28,"createdAt":94,"updatedAt":95,"publishedAt":96},"2020-12-24T19:15:46.057Z","2025-10-01T19:50:39.801Z","2024-06-26T07:27:59.419Z",{"id":6,"name":98,"slug":99,"instagram":100,"facebook":101,"bio":102,"createdAt":103,"updatedAt":104,"publishedAt":105,"linkedIn":106,"avatar":107,"avatarImg":127},"Dimitra","dimitra","https:\u002F\u002Fwww.instagram.com\u002Fdimdimi\u002F","https:\u002F\u002Fwww.facebook.com\u002Fdimitra.lioliou.9","She worked in corporate, then embraced the freelancer dream and built two businesses. In the meantime, she learned five foreign languages, picked up a Master's in Digital Marketing, and somehow ended up deep in the world of AI Risk Strategy — because understanding people was always the strategy anyway.\nNow she spends her time between Greece and the US, meeting with clients, writing about whatever life brings, and helping businesses figure out what AI gets wrong before it costs them.\nJust a suggestion: don't ask her about languages. She will never stop talking.","2020-12-24T18:56:38.909Z","2026-02-19T19:46:02.745Z","2020-12-24T18:56:43.888Z","https:\u002F\u002Fwww.linkedin.com\u002Fin\u002Fdimitra-lioliou\u002F",{"id":108,"name":109,"alternativeText":110,"caption":111,"width":112,"height":112,"formats":113,"hash":123,"ext":115,"mime":118,"size":124,"url":125,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":126,"updatedAt":126},1244,"Dimitra Lioliou.png","dimitra lioliou profile pic","dimitra lioliou the working gal",250,{"thumbnail":114},{"ext":115,"url":116,"hash":117,"mime":118,"name":119,"path":62,"size":120,"width":121,"height":121,"sizeInBytes":122},".png","https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_Dimitra_Lioliou_4c495e8044.png","thumbnail_Dimitra_Lioliou_4c495e8044","image\u002Fpng","thumbnail_Dimitra Lioliou.png",47.83,156,47833,"Dimitra_Lioliou_4c495e8044",34.56,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002FDimitra_Lioliou_4c495e8044.png","2025-04-09T22:06:21.464Z","https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002FDimitra_Lioliou_4c495e8044.png","https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Fset_boundaries_04931f9f69.jpg",{"pagination":130},{"page":6,"pageSize":35,"pageCount":6,"total":6},{"data":132,"meta":382},[133,200,245,292,337],{"id":134,"title":135,"createdAt":136,"updatedAt":137,"publishedAt":138,"content":139,"slug":140,"coffees":14,"seo_title":135,"keywords":141,"seo_desc":142,"featuredImage":143,"category":172,"author":175,"img":199},47,"How Reality TV Portrays Women: The Harmful Stereotypes We've Normalized (And Why It Matters)","2021-01-16T10:00:51.280Z","2025-10-25T19:47:11.114Z","2021-01-16T10:00:53.753Z","Reality television is everywhere. Turn on your TV any night of the week and you'll find women competing for love on *The Bachelor*, battling the elements on *Survivor*, getting critiqued by judges on *America's Next Top Model*, or navigating drama on *The Real Housewives*. These shows are massively popular—[40% of Americans watch reality TV regularly](https:\u002F\u002Felectroiq.com\u002Fstats\u002Freality-tv-statistics\u002F), with women aged 18-34 making up the primary demographic.\n\nWe tell ourselves it's harmless entertainment. Just something fun to watch after a long day at work. But if we look more closely at what reality shows actually show, we'll see that their messages aren't as innocent as they seem.\n\nThe uncomfortable truth? Reality TV perpetuates harmful stereotypes about women—and we've become so used to seeing them that we barely notice anymore.\n\n## Why Reality TV's Portrayal of Women Matters\n\nBefore you dismiss this as overthinking entertainment, consider this: Psychologists confirm that we learn behavior through our experiences and the images we encounter in everyday life. For millions of young people, reality TV has become part of that everyday experience.\n\n[Research published in *Frontiers in Sociology*](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.frontiersin.org\u002Fjournals\u002Fsociology\u002Farticles\u002F10.3389\u002Ffsoc.2021.641216\u002Ffull) found that reality dating shows like *Love Island* perpetuate sexist attitudes toward women by presenting female contestants as overly emotional, irrational, and defined primarily by their desirability to men. Another study in *Politics, Groups, and Identities* determined that television \"has the potential to be used to increase political tolerance, and eliminate racism, sexism, and heterosexism\"—but only when it chooses to do so.\n\nThe problem? Most reality TV is choosing to do the opposite.\n\n## The Stereotypes Reality TV Perpetuates About Women\n\n### 1\\. Women as Objects of Desire (and Nothing More)\n\nAccording to the prevailing standards in reality television, women must be \"hot, always well-groomed, an object of desire.\" Their beauty and charm are positioned as the primary—often *only*—elements that will help them succeed.\n\nIn fashion reality shows like *America's Next Top Model* or *Project Runway*, women are treated as objects to be critiqued and judged. Judges comment on contestants' appearances as if they're not even present in the room, anxiously waiting for verdicts. We're told the fashion world is \"tough,\" but how is it different from other professions? Why is degrading treatment considered acceptable here when it wouldn't be tolerated in a corporate boardroom?\n\nIn dating shows like *The Bachelor* or *Love Island*, contestants are always perfectly groomed with flawless hair and makeup, projecting an image that's impossibly far from reality. Research shows that these programs reinforce a false idea: that a woman's primary value lies in her physical appearance and her ability to attract male attention.\n\nThis objectification teaches young viewers that women's worth is primarily visual—a message that has real-world consequences for how women are perceived and treated in professional and personal contexts.\n\n### 2\\. Women as Weak and Emotional (The \"Hysterical\" Stereotype)\n\nIn survival and competition shows like *Survivor*, women are often portrayed as the weakest players from the start. They're assumed to be fragile, unable to withstand pressure, and likely to crack under stress. Male contestants often prefer them as opponents *because* they're viewed as easier to beat.\n\nYes, men and women have different average physical capabilities. But why does the devaluation exist from the beginning? Why is beauty positioned as a woman's only viable path to victory, rather than strength, strategy, or intelligence?\n\nStudies on shows like *Love Island* reveal how female contestants' emotions are deliberately manipulated and exploited to attract viewers. Women are shown crying, fighting, or being \"paranoid\" about relationships—and these moments are presented as entertainment rather than as human experiences. This \"money shot\" editing, as researchers call it, reinforces outdated stereotypes about women's emotional instability and irrationality.\n\nThe consequence? When women in real life express legitimate concerns or emotions, they risk being labeled as \"crazy,\" \"dramatic,\" or \"too emotional\"—dismissals that have their roots in these persistent stereotypes.\n\n### 3\\. Women in Competition (With Each Other, Always)\n\nOne of the most insidious patterns in reality TV is how women are constantly pitted against each other—for men's affection, for judges' approval, for social dominance, for survival.\n\n*The Bachelor* franchise literally structures itself around 25-30 women competing for one man's attention. *The Real Housewives* thrives on female conflict and drama. Even professional competition shows like *Project Runway* amplify tensions between female contestants to create \"compelling\" television.\n\nResearch published on women's portrayal in reality TV notes that these shows teach young viewers—especially young women—that other women are their competition, not their allies. This perpetuates internalized misogyny: the belief that women can't trust each other, that female friendships are inherently drama-filled, and that women must compete for male approval and validation.\n\nThe real-world impact? Women who grow up consuming this media often struggle to build supportive female friendships and professional networks, believing competition rather than collaboration is the natural state of women's relationships.\n\n## The Specific Problems with Different Types of Reality Shows\n\n### Dating Shows: Distorted Images of Love and Relationships\n\nShows like *The Bachelor*, *Love Is Blind*, *Too Hot to Handle*, and *Married at First Sight* claim to help people find \"true love.\" In reality, they present a deeply distorted vision of relationships where:\n\n* Women must compete for male attention rather than being recognized as worthy partners in their own right  \n* Physical appearance is paramount \\- contestants are always camera-ready, reinforcing impossible beauty standards  \n* Emotional vulnerability is exploited for drama and ratings rather than treated with respect  \n* Traditional gender roles are reinforced \\- men as choosers, women as chosen\n\nA 2021 study analyzing *Love Island* found that the show demonstrates a sexual double standard: male contestants are celebrated for sexual prowess, while female contestants are shamed and deemed \"unruly\" for the same behavior. Women who are confident about their sexuality are labeled as \"too much\" or problematic.\n\n### Competition Shows: Women Judged More Harshly\n\nOn competition reality shows—from *Survivor* to *The Amazing Race* to *Hell's Kitchen*—research shows that [women face different standards than men](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fdo-people-love-to-hate-women-online):\n\n* Strong women are labeled as \"aggressive\" or \"mean\" while men displaying identical behavior are called \"assertive\" or \"strategic\"  \n* Women's competence is questioned more frequently  \n* Physical challenges emphasize perceived female weakness rather than different types of strength  \n* Women who display ambition are often edited to appear villainous\n\n### The Representation Problem Gets Worse for Women of Color\n\nThe stereotyping in reality TV is compounded for Black women, Latina women, and Asian American women, who face both gender-based and race-based stereotypes.\n\n![women-reality-shows.jpg](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fwomen_reality_shows_9b2d5094fb.jpg)\n\nResearch shows that Black women in particular are often portrayed through the \"angry Black woman\" stereotype—shown as aggressive, irrational, and confrontational. According to *Pacific Standard Magazine*, when Black women appear on dating shows, they're often tokenized—included to meet a diversity quota rather than given genuine opportunities.\n\nA study analyzing *The Bachelor* found that in over 22 seasons, representation of women of color was severely limited, with some seasons featuring only one or two non-white contestants among 25-30 participants.\n\n## Why We Keep Watching (And Why That's Complicated)\n\nIf reality TV is so problematic, why do so many smart, [feminist women](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fwhy-we-need-feminism)—myself included—watch it?\n\nThe answer is complicated. As University of Michigan researcher Enrica Bridgewater explains, \"People who want equality for women can watch reality TV. You can dissect the things you like and the things you think are problematic.\"\n\n[Reality TV can be a guilty pleasure](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fguilty-pleasure-the-shows-we-love-but-will-never-admit-to-anyone), a form of escapism, a way to decompress after work. The issue isn't individual viewers—it's the systemic patterns these shows create and reinforce.\n\nYou can watch reality TV and be a feminist. But we need to watch critically, recognizing the harmful tropes and calling them out rather than accepting them as normal.\n\n## The Dangerous Normalization\n\nThe worst part isn't that these stereotypes exist—it's that we see them so often that we consider them normal.\n\nWhen judges on fashion shows treat models with disgrace, we think \"well, the fashion industry is tough.\" When dating show contestants are shown crying and fighting over a man, we think \"well, that's just good drama.\" When women on competition shows are eliminated first, we think \"well, women are physically weaker.\"\n\nWe've normalized the dehumanization.\n\nAnd this normalization has consequences. When children and teenagers watch these shows—and they do—they internalize these messages about how women are and should be. Young men learn that the patriarchy's lessons are correct. Young women learn that finding a successful man and being traditionally beautiful are their highest aspirations.\n\n## Where the Responsibility Lies\n\nIt's tempting to blame the contestants, the producers, or the networks. But the reality is more complex.\n\nTelevision is a microcosm of society. If society allows the reproduction of these stereotypes, it's not just television that's perpetuating them—it's all of us.\n\n* Producers have a responsibility to create content that doesn't harm marginalized groups  \n* Networks have a responsibility to prioritize ethical programming over pure ratings  \n* Viewers have a responsibility to consume critically and demand better  \n* Advertisers have responsibility for what they financially support  \n* Society has a collective responsibility to reject sexist stereotypes wherever they appear\n\n## What We Can Do About It\n\nSo what's the solution? Should we boycott reality TV entirely?\n\nNot necessarily. But here's what we can do:\n\n**1\\. Watch Critically.** Notice when stereotypes appear. Question why women are portrayed certain ways. Call it out in conversations with friends and family.\n\n**2\\. Demand Better.** Support shows that present complex, multidimensional women. Use social media to praise good representation and criticize harmful portrayals.\n\n**3\\. Educate Young Viewers.** If children in your life watch reality TV, talk with them about what they're seeing. Help them develop critical thinking skills about media representation.\n\n**4\\. Choose Our Entertainment Thoughtfully.** We vote with our viewership. When shows treat women with respect and complexity, watch them. When they don't, turn them off.\n\n**5\\. Create Counter-Narratives.** Share stories and content that show the real diversity and complexity of women's experiences.\n\nReality TV isn't going to change until we change. Until we stop accepting these stereotypes as entertainment. Until we stop laughing at sexist \"humor.\" Until we demand that women on our screens be treated with the same respect, complexity, and humanity as men.\n\nTelevision reflects society—but it also shapes it. The images we consume influence how we see ourselves and others. When we allow women to be degraded, objectified, and stereotyped on reality TV, we're allowing those same attitudes to persist in boardrooms, classrooms, and our daily lives.\n\nThe next time you see a woman being treated poorly on a reality show, don't just accept it as entertainment. Recognize it for what it is: the reinforcement of harmful stereotypes that have real consequences for real women.\n\nWe all have a responsibility here. The question is: what will we do with it?\n\n\n","stereotype-women-in-reality-tv","reality TV stereotypes women, how reality TV portrays women, sexism in reality shows, dating shows stereotypes, gender stereotypes in reality television, Bachelor stereotypes women, Love Island sexism","From The Bachelor to Survivor, reality TV stereotypes harm women. Discover how dating shows & competition series perpetuate sexism—and what we can do about it.",{"id":144,"name":145,"alternativeText":52,"caption":52,"width":53,"height":54,"formats":146,"hash":167,"ext":57,"mime":60,"size":168,"url":169,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":170,"updatedAt":171},93,"woman-in-reality-TV.jpg",{"large":147,"small":152,"medium":157,"thumbnail":162},{"ext":57,"url":148,"hash":149,"mime":60,"name":150,"path":62,"size":151,"width":64,"height":65},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flarge_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363.jpg","large_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363","large_woman-in-reality-TV.jpg",58.66,{"ext":57,"url":153,"hash":154,"mime":60,"name":155,"path":62,"size":156,"width":71,"height":72},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fsmall_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363.jpg","small_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363","small_woman-in-reality-TV.jpg",17.33,{"ext":57,"url":158,"hash":159,"mime":60,"name":160,"path":62,"size":161,"width":78,"height":79},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fmedium_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363.jpg","medium_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363","medium_woman-in-reality-TV.jpg",33.99,{"ext":57,"url":163,"hash":164,"mime":60,"name":165,"path":62,"size":166,"width":85,"height":86},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363.jpg","thumbnail_woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363","thumbnail_woman-in-reality-TV.jpg",5.21,"woman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363",135.22,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fwoman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363.jpg","2021-01-16T09:51:37.482Z","2021-01-16T09:51:37.500Z",{"id":22,"name":23,"slug":24,"createdAt":173,"updatedAt":174,"publishedAt":96},"2020-12-24T19:16:11.810Z","2025-10-01T19:49:12.086Z",{"id":14,"name":176,"slug":177,"instagram":178,"facebook":179,"bio":180,"createdAt":181,"updatedAt":182,"publishedAt":183,"linkedIn":184,"avatar":185},"Amalia","amalia","https:\u002F\u002Fwww.instagram.com\u002Famalia.ka__\u002F","https:\u002F\u002Fwww.facebook.com\u002Famalia.kakampakou","Amalia is the Teacher. She loves what she does. She is addicted to detail: if it isn’t perfect, it’s not good enough. She loves her job and she loves writing. She wants to learn new things and she is very curious about everything. Her favorite question: Why? She usually answers the questions by herself, though.","2020-12-24T18:58:59.684Z","2020-12-27T14:58:33.474Z","2020-12-24T18:59:01.010Z","https:\u002F\u002Fwww.linkedin.com\u002Fin\u002Famalia-kakampakou-963945202\u002F",{"id":14,"name":186,"alternativeText":187,"caption":187,"width":112,"height":112,"formats":188,"hash":194,"ext":115,"mime":118,"size":195,"url":196,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":197,"updatedAt":198},"the working gal author.png","the working gal author",{"thumbnail":189},{"ext":115,"url":190,"hash":191,"mime":118,"name":192,"path":62,"size":193,"width":121,"height":121},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_amalia_fcd74699a4.png","thumbnail_amalia_fcd74699a4","thumbnail_amalia.png",57.6,"amalia_fcd74699a4",118.47,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Famalia_fcd74699a4.png","2020-12-24T18:58:30.657Z","2025-02-22T08:34:20.998Z","https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Fwoman_in_reality_TV_c9eecd8363.jpg",{"id":201,"title":202,"createdAt":203,"updatedAt":204,"publishedAt":205,"content":206,"slug":207,"coffees":22,"seo_title":202,"keywords":208,"seo_desc":209,"featuredImage":210,"category":239,"author":240,"img":244},46,"How to Stop Overthinking: Signs You're an Overthinker & What Actually Helps","2021-01-13T00:02:03.736Z","2025-12-02T22:05:19.666Z","2021-01-13T20:04:33.388Z","It’s late again, you're exhausted, your body is begging for sleep, and the moment your head hits the pillow, your brain decides now is the perfect time to replay that awkward thing you said in a meeting three years ago. Then it helpfully reminds you of seventeen other moments you'd rather forget. Sound familiar?\n\nIf you've ever found yourself stuck in an endless loop of \"what ifs\" and \"should haves,\" you're definitely not alone. [Research suggests](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.apa.org\u002Ftopics\u002Fstress\u002Fgeneration-z-millennials-young-adults-worries) that over 70% of young adults struggle with chronic overthinking, and women are particularly susceptible to this mental spiral. The constant analysis, the second-guessing, the replaying of scenarios—it's exhausting, and it rarely leads to the clarity we're hoping for.\n\nThe good news? Understanding why you overthink is the first step to breaking free from it. We’ll explore the signs that you might be an overthinker, unpack why your brain loves to go into overdrive (especially at night), and share seven evidence-based strategies that can actually help you find some peace. Because you deserve a mind that works *with* you, not against you.\n\n## What Is Overthinking, Really?\n\nBefore solving our constant and too many thoughts, it's helpful to understand what overthinking actually is—because it's not the same as thoughtful reflection or careful planning.\n\nOverthinking, also called rumination in psychological terms, is when your brain gets trapped in a loop of excessive analysis. It goes beyond normal contemplation. Instead of thinking through a problem to find a solution, you're spinning your wheels—replaying the same thoughts, dissecting every detail, and often making yourself feel worse in the process.\n\nThink of it this way: problem-solving moves you forward, while overthinking keeps you stuck in place. Normal thinking asks, \"What can I do about this?\" Overthinking asks, \"Why did this happen? What does it mean? What if it happens again? What if everything falls apart?\" It's the mental equivalent of running on a treadmill—a lot of effort, but you never actually get anywhere.\n\n## 7 Signs You're an Overthinker\n\nNot sure if what you're experiencing qualifies as overthinking? Here are some telltale signs that your brain might be working a little too hard:\n\n### 1\\. You Struggle to Make Simple Decisions\n\nWhen even choosing what to order for lunch feels overwhelming, that's a sign. Overthinkers tend to analyze every option to the point of paralysis, worried they'll make the \"wrong\" choice—even when the stakes are incredibly low.\n\n### 2\\. You Can't Let Go of Past [Mistakes](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002F5-steps-to-manage-your-mistakes-at-work)\n\nYou replay conversations from weeks, months, or even years ago, wondering what you could have said differently. That email you sent last Tuesday? Still thinking about whether it came across wrong.\n\n### 3\\. Sleep Feels Impossible\n\nA [busy mind](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fdon-t-be-busy-be-productive) has trouble shutting off, especially at night. If you find yourself lying awake while your brain runs through tomorrow's problems (and next year's, and hypothetical problems that might never happen), overthinking is likely the culprit.\n\n### 4\\. You Second-Guess Yourself Constantly\n\nAfter making a [decision](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fdecision-fatigue), you immediately start questioning it. Should you have chosen differently? What did other people think? This constant self-doubt can be exhausting and erode your [confidence](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fconfidence-at-work) over time.\n\n### 5\\. You Imagine Worst-Case Scenarios\n\nYour brain loves to catastrophize, jumping from \"I haven't heard back about my email\" to \"They hate me, and I'm definitely getting fired\" in about three seconds flat. This kind of future-focused anxiety is classic overthinking behavior.\n\n### 6\\. You Seek Constant Reassurance\n\nDo you frequently ask friends or family to validate your choices? Overthinkers often need external confirmation because their own internal dialogue is filled with so much doubt.\n\n### 7\\. You Feel Mentally Exhausted\n\nAll that mental processing takes a toll. If you regularly feel drained even without doing anything physically demanding, your overactive mind might be using up all your energy.\n\n## Why Does Overthinking Get Worse at Night?\n\nIf you've noticed that your overthinking reaches peak intensity right when you're trying to fall asleep, you're not imagining it. There's actual neuroscience behind why nighttime becomes prime time for rumination.\n\n![life-as-overthinker.jpg](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flife_as_overthinker_b9616052f2.jpg)\n\nDuring the day, your brain is occupied with tasks, conversations, and endless external stimuli. But when those distractions fade away at night, your mind suddenly has space—and it often fills that space with unfinished business, worries, and the thoughts you've been pushing aside all day.\n\nAdditionally, your brain's default mode network (DMN) becomes more active when you're not focused on a specific task. This network is associated with self-reflection and mind-wandering—which can easily tip into overthinking territory when you're lying in a dark, quiet room with nothing to distract you.\n\nHormone fluctuations play a role, too. [Cortisol](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fwhat-is-cortisol-detox-and-how-to-do-it), your stress hormone, naturally dips in the evening as part of your circadian rhythm. However, if you've been stressed all day, cortisol might remain elevated, keeping your mind on high alert when it should be winding down.\n\n## 7 Strategies That Actually Help You Stop Overthinking\n\nNow for the part you've been waiting for—what can you actually do about all this? While you may never completely silence your mind (and honestly, you wouldn't want to), these evidence-based strategies can help quiet the noise and give you back some mental peace.\n\n### 1\\. Schedule Your Worry Time\n\nThis might sound counterintuitive, but instead of letting anxious thoughts hijack you throughout the day (and night), designate a specific 15-20 minute window as your \"worry time.\" During this period, let yourself think about whatever is bothering you. Write it down, analyze it, and catastrophize if you must.\n\nOutside of this window, when overthinking creeps in, remind yourself: \"I'll think about that during my worry time.\" It sounds simple, but this technique—backed by cognitive behavioral therapy research—helps train your brain that there's a time and place for these thoughts, and bedtime isn't it.\n\n### 2\\. Do a [Brain Dump](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fbrain-dump-before-sleep) Before Bed\n\nKeep a notebook by your bed and spend 10 minutes writing down everything on your mind before you try to sleep. Tomorrow's to-do list, that conversation you can't stop replaying, random worries about the future—get it all out of your head and onto paper.\n\nResearch shows that journaling before bed can significantly reduce pre-sleep worry and help you fall asleep faster. When your thoughts are externalized on paper, your brain feels less pressure to keep running through them on repeat.\n\n### 3\\. Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique\n\nWhen you catch yourself spiraling, this simple mindfulness exercise can help bring you back to the present moment. Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.\n\nThis technique works because it interrupts the overthinking cycle by redirecting your attention to your immediate sensory experience. It's hard to ruminate about that embarrassing thing you said five years ago when you're busy counting the textures around you.\n\n### 4\\. Challenge Your Thoughts\n\nNot every thought that pops into your head is true or helpful. When you notice yourself spiraling, pause and ask: Is this thought based on facts or feelings? What evidence do I have for and against this thought? What would I tell a friend who was thinking this way?\n\nThis cognitive reframing technique, borrowed from cognitive behavioral therapy, helps you step back and evaluate your thoughts more objectively rather than accepting them as absolute truth.\n\n### 5\\. Create a Wind-Down Routine\n\nYour brain needs transition time between the busyness of your day and sleep. About an hour before bed, start signaling to your body that it's time to relax. This might include dimming the lights, putting away screens, taking a warm bath, or reading something light (not the news or work emails).\n\nConsistency is key here. When you follow the same wind-down routine each night, your brain starts to associate these activities with sleep, making it easier to mentally shift gears.\n\n### 6\\. Move Your Body\n\nPhysical activity is one of the most effective ways to reduce overthinking. Exercise releases endorphins, reduces cortisol, and gives your brain something concrete to focus on besides your worries. Even a [20-minute walk](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002F9-ways-to-walk-a-bit-more-every-day) can make a significant difference in quieting an overactive mind.\n\nJust avoid intense workouts too close to bedtime, as they can be stimulating. Morning or afternoon exercise tends to have the best impact on [sleep](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Frevenge-bedtime-procrastination) quality and mental peace.\n\n### 7\\. Be Kind to Yourself\n\nHere's something important: beating yourself up for overthinking only adds another layer to the problem. Instead of criticizing yourself for having an overactive mind, try acknowledging it with compassion. Your brain isn't trying to ruin your life—it's actually trying to protect you by scanning for potential threats. It's just a little overzealous.\n\nTry telling yourself: \"It's okay that my mind is busy right now. I'm choosing to let these thoughts go.\" This gentle acknowledgment is far more effective than harsh self-judgment.\n\n## When to Seek Professional Help\n\nWhile some overthinking is a normal part of the human experience, there are times when it may signal something that needs professional support. Consider reaching out to a therapist or mental health professional if your overthinking is significantly interfering with your daily life, relationships, or ability to function, if it's accompanied by persistent feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, or depression, or if the strategies above aren't making a dent despite consistent effort.\n\nCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), in particular, has been shown to be highly effective for treating chronic overthinking and anxiety. There's no shame in getting support—in fact, it's one of the smartest things you can do for yourself.\n\n## Finding Peace in a Busy Mind\n\nOverthinking is exhausting, but it doesn't have to define your life. With awareness, practice, and patience, you can learn to recognize when your brain is spinning and gently guide it back to calmer waters.\n\nRemember, the goal isn't to never think deeply or carefully—that's part of what makes you thoughtful and conscientious. The goal is to break free from the unproductive loops that steal your sleep, drain your energy, and keep you stuck in worry instead of moving forward.\n\nStart with one strategy from this list. Notice when you're overthinking without judging yourself for it. And most importantly, give yourself grace in this process. Your busy mind isn't a flaw—it just needs a little training.\n\nYou've got this.\n\n","why-are-you-overthinking","how to stop overthinking, signs you're an overthinker, overthinking at night, why do I overthink, am I an overthinker, how to stop overthinking at night, overthinking symptoms","Can't stop overthinking? Learn the signs you're an overthinker, why your brain won't shut off at night, and 7 strategies that actually help you break the cycle.",{"id":211,"name":212,"alternativeText":52,"caption":52,"width":53,"height":54,"formats":213,"hash":234,"ext":57,"mime":60,"size":235,"url":236,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":237,"updatedAt":238},92,"life-as-an-overthinker.jpg",{"large":214,"small":219,"medium":224,"thumbnail":229},{"ext":57,"url":215,"hash":216,"mime":60,"name":217,"path":62,"size":218,"width":64,"height":65},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flarge_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457.jpg","large_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457","large_life-as-an-overthinker.jpg",44.15,{"ext":57,"url":220,"hash":221,"mime":60,"name":222,"path":62,"size":223,"width":71,"height":72},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fsmall_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457.jpg","small_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457","small_life-as-an-overthinker.jpg",14.9,{"ext":57,"url":225,"hash":226,"mime":60,"name":227,"path":62,"size":228,"width":78,"height":79},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fmedium_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457.jpg","medium_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457","medium_life-as-an-overthinker.jpg",27.93,{"ext":57,"url":230,"hash":231,"mime":60,"name":232,"path":62,"size":233,"width":85,"height":86},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457.jpg","thumbnail_life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457","thumbnail_life-as-an-overthinker.jpg",4.96,"life_as_an_overthinker_6938727457",86.76,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flife_as_an_overthinker_6938727457.jpg","2021-01-13T00:01:59.619Z","2021-01-13T00:01:59.631Z",{"id":26,"name":27,"slug":28,"createdAt":94,"updatedAt":95,"publishedAt":96},{"id":14,"name":176,"slug":177,"instagram":178,"facebook":179,"bio":180,"createdAt":181,"updatedAt":182,"publishedAt":183,"linkedIn":184,"avatar":241},{"id":14,"name":186,"alternativeText":187,"caption":187,"width":112,"height":112,"formats":242,"hash":194,"ext":115,"mime":118,"size":195,"url":196,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":197,"updatedAt":198},{"thumbnail":243},{"ext":115,"url":190,"hash":191,"mime":118,"name":192,"path":62,"size":193,"width":121,"height":121},"https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Flife_as_an_overthinker_6938727457.jpg",{"id":246,"title":247,"createdAt":248,"updatedAt":249,"publishedAt":250,"content":251,"slug":252,"coffees":14,"seo_title":247,"keywords":253,"seo_desc":254,"featuredImage":255,"category":284,"author":287,"img":291},45,"5 Signs That Show It's Time To Change Jobs","2021-01-12T23:07:37.738Z","2025-11-29T20:31:59.704Z","2021-01-12T23:07:44.193Z","It is Sunday evening. You are scrolling through your social media page indifferently, and the only thing you can think about is the next day at work. *How do you feel? Overwhelmed? You already feel tired even though you had an excellent weekend? Are you feeling stressed? Do you find yourself complaining to your family or friends about your to-dos or about your co-workers?*\n\nSometimes, it is normal to have the **“Monday blues”** syndrome. Nobody wants to be working, especially when they had a lovely and well-spent weekend. Most times, this unpleasant feeling passes when we start working and doesn’t bother us a lot. \nWhat happens, though, when this feeling never goes away? **Maybe it’s time you changed your job.**\n\nWe sure cannot deny that changing jobs is quite risky and dangerous, especially when you do not have an immediate alternative. However, **mental health** is, above all. Being obliged to work somewhere that you don’t enjoy is detrimental both for your mental health and your performance at work. \n\nBut, which are the signs that show *whether it’s time you changed job?*\n\n### You feel overwhelmed at the thought of getting up to go to work. \n\nSome years ago, I was working in an office where I soon realized something was wrong. I couldn’t understand what it was, but I started to feel almost nauseous at the thought of going there. At first, I thought I was just **tired** (it was generally a very stressful period in my life, so I thought I was on the verge of having **burnout**); then, the days passed, and I didn’t even have the courage to wake up and get dressed. I caught myself crying while commuting to work. The strange part was that as soon as I got out of there, *my mood was perfect*.\n\n### You don’t feel valued.\n\n*Everyone works for different reasons*. Some work for pleasure, some for the money, and some because they… just have to. However, when we work, we expect at least an **appreciation** for what we are doing. When you put effort into something, you sure want your effort to be acknowledged. If not, your job doesn’t seem that fulfilling. If your work is not appreciated, *why have the motivation to continue doing what you do?*\n\n### Your salary isn’t equal to your efforts.\n\nAssuming you spend a lot of hours at work (8 or even more) and you do your best to **make results** and do whatever it takes to **perform well**. On the contrary, your salary does not seem to be in the same orbit. *No matter how hard you try, you never get a bonus or a raise*, and the money you take is not even equal to your performance. On the other hand, you may have a fair salary, but you still think you deserve more, and **no salary can compensate you for what you do**. \n\n### Your job is affecting your personal life.\n\nThere are times that our job may consume a lot of our time -and, usually- our *free time*. Still, when you feel permanently tired, cannot sleep, suffer from headaches or other physical symptoms, **your body warns you that something is wrong**. Also, all this stress is affecting your relationships with your friends and family? Have you continuously been irritated and nervous, and your close persons have mentioned that? If yes, then your work is making you an **unhappy** and **cynical** person.\n\n### You act with apathy and complacency.\n\nWe all have bad days at work. But, *when you love your job, those days are not the rule*; they are the exception. If you find yourself carrying out your tasks with difficulty or unable to focus and do your job, maybe this is a sign that something is wrong. It is normal to **[procrastinate](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fwhy-do-we-procrastinate)** from time to time; not every day is the same, but what happens when procrastination is the rule? Maybe you don’t like your job anymore.\n\n**And now? What to do?**\n\nAs we said before, *a job change is quite risky*, and in matters of work, we shouldn’t make spontaneous decisions.\n\n![change-office.jpg](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fchange_office_45749f8e32.jpg)\n\n### Find the actual reason why it is not working.\n\nSometimes, we tend to *overreact to things*, and we take them personally. We have all been there. Maybe it has been a stressful period, and giving all that energy to work may be overwhelming. You may also have a **problem** with one or some co-workers, which feels unpleasant and makes you think negatively about your job. Maybe some **[conflicts](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fhow-to-avoid-conflicts-at-work-1)** do not let you do your job correctly and *distract* you.\n\n### Identify the positive aspects of your job. \n\nThink back to when you got that job. *Were you motivated back then? What happened then?* You thought that your career would progress, and now you are still doing the same things? Find the reason why you changed that job and keep them in mind.\n\n### Identify the place where you would fit best.\n\n*When we have a job that we like, we make a good fit there*. Think of which kind of job you would see yourself working to and going happy. Maybe now you work somewhere where your skills and knowledge are not useful, and you need to be working somewhere where you can **develop your skills** differently.\n\n### Develop and execute your plan.\n\nDon’t rush into quitting your job **without a plan**. You should be patient. *After self-assessing yourself, your skills, motivations, competencies*, focus on perfecting your personal brand and expanding your network. Keep developing your skills, or -even better- learn some new skills that **would take you to the next level**. \n\nThe most important thing **is not to be scared** in the search for your new career. Things won’t be perfect from the beginning but remember it’s never too late to start again and find the job of your dreams.\n\nNeed some more motivation for a career change? [Read this](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fcareer-change-is-it-possible)\n\n","5-signs-that-you-need-to-change-job","signs it's time to change jobs, what are the signs that I need to change job, signs you need to change jobs, job change signs, 7 signs it's time to change jobs","These are the 5 signs that it's time to change jobs and do a career change. Read the article and discover our guide on the signs that you need to change your job.",{"id":256,"name":257,"alternativeText":52,"caption":52,"width":53,"height":54,"formats":258,"hash":279,"ext":57,"mime":60,"size":280,"url":281,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":282,"updatedAt":283},89,"change-job.jpg",{"large":259,"small":264,"medium":269,"thumbnail":274},{"ext":57,"url":260,"hash":261,"mime":60,"name":262,"path":62,"size":263,"width":64,"height":65},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flarge_change_job_f7ca98f8b5.jpg","large_change_job_f7ca98f8b5","large_change-job.jpg",66.66,{"ext":57,"url":265,"hash":266,"mime":60,"name":267,"path":62,"size":268,"width":71,"height":72},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fsmall_change_job_f7ca98f8b5.jpg","small_change_job_f7ca98f8b5","small_change-job.jpg",22.69,{"ext":57,"url":270,"hash":271,"mime":60,"name":272,"path":62,"size":273,"width":78,"height":79},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fmedium_change_job_f7ca98f8b5.jpg","medium_change_job_f7ca98f8b5","medium_change-job.jpg",41.79,{"ext":57,"url":275,"hash":276,"mime":60,"name":277,"path":62,"size":278,"width":85,"height":86},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_change_job_f7ca98f8b5.jpg","thumbnail_change_job_f7ca98f8b5","thumbnail_change-job.jpg",7.73,"change_job_f7ca98f8b5",145.06,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fchange_job_f7ca98f8b5.jpg","2021-01-12T22:52:57.921Z","2021-01-12T22:52:57.943Z",{"id":6,"name":7,"slug":8,"createdAt":285,"updatedAt":286,"publishedAt":96},"2020-12-24T19:15:38.145Z","2020-12-24T19:15:38.158Z",{"id":6,"name":98,"slug":99,"instagram":100,"facebook":101,"bio":102,"createdAt":103,"updatedAt":104,"publishedAt":105,"linkedIn":106,"avatar":288},{"id":108,"name":109,"alternativeText":110,"caption":111,"width":112,"height":112,"formats":289,"hash":123,"ext":115,"mime":118,"size":124,"url":125,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":126,"updatedAt":126},{"thumbnail":290},{"ext":115,"url":116,"hash":117,"mime":118,"name":119,"path":62,"size":120,"width":121,"height":121,"sizeInBytes":122},"https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Fchange_job_f7ca98f8b5.jpg",{"id":293,"title":294,"createdAt":295,"updatedAt":296,"publishedAt":297,"content":298,"slug":299,"coffees":26,"seo_title":294,"keywords":300,"seo_desc":301,"featuredImage":302,"category":331,"author":332,"img":336},43,"First Job Advice: Your Complete Survival Guide for Starting a New Job ","2021-01-09T10:39:52.128Z","2026-04-15T17:56:51.064Z","2021-01-10T10:26:24.847Z","\n# First Job Advice: Your Complete Survival Guide for Starting a New Job\n\nStarting your first job is one of those defining moments that stays with you forever—equal parts thrilling and terrifying. One minute you're celebrating landing the position, and the next you're lying awake at 2 AM wondering if you've made a huge mistake or if you're even qualified to be there.\n\nHere's what nobody tells you: every professional you admire felt exactly the same way on their first day. The difference between those who thrive and those who struggle isn't talent or experience—it's knowing how to navigate those crucial first weeks and months strategically.\n\nWhether you're fresh out of college or pivoting to a completely new career, this guide will help you avoid the common pitfalls and set yourself up for success from day one.\n\n## Why Starting Your First Job Feels So Overwhelming\n\nThe truth is that the transition from student life (or job searching) to actually working in your field is jarring. Suddenly, the theory you studied is meeting real-world application, and there's no syllabus to follow or professor to guide you through each assignment.\n\n[Research shows that 63% of executives give new employees less than three months](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.atlassian.com\u002Fblog\u002Fteamwork\u002Fstarting-a-new-job-and-first-week-success#:~:text=First%20impressions%20only%20happen%20once,them%20less%20than%20a%20month.) to prove themselves. Another study found that 91% of employees consider quitting within the first month due to poor onboarding, management issues, or cultural misfit.\n\nThat's a lot of pressure. But here's the good news: you were hired because they believe in you. They saw something valuable [during the interview process](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fjob-interview-tips), and now it's about translating that potential into consistent performance.\n\n## How to Succeed in Your First Job: Essential Tips for New Employees\n\n### 1\\. Take Detailed Notes (Your Future Self Will Thank You)\n\nWhen you start a new job, you're drinking from a fire hose of information. New systems, new processes, new names, new responsibilities—it's a lot to absorb, and you won't remember everything.\n\nWhat to do:\n\n* Carry a dedicated notebook (yes, actual paper—it shows you're engaged and ready to learn)  \n* Write down passwords, processes, and people's names  \n* Note deadlines, meeting schedules, and project timelines  \n* Create a running list of questions to ask during appropriate moments  \n* Use productivity apps like Notion, Todoist, or Asana to organize tasks\n\nTaking notes demonstrates that you're taking the job seriously. It also creates a reference system so you're not asking the same questions multiple times (which can make you seem scattered or inattentive).\n\n### 2\\. Arrive Early—But Not *Too* Early\n\nPunctuality matters more in your first job than you might think. Being consistently on time (or a few minutes early) signals reliability, professionalism, and respect for others' time.\n\nThe sweet spot: Aim to arrive 10-15 minutes before your official start time. This gives you a buffer for unexpected delays and shows you're eager without seeming overly anxious.\n\nDo a practice run of your commute the week before you start, preferably at the same time you'll be traveling. Traffic patterns vary wildly, and you don't want your first day to start with a frantic, sweaty entrance.\n\nFor projects and deliverables, try to finish them a day or two before the deadline. This gives you time to review your work and handle any unexpected issues that might arise.\n\n### 3\\. Claim Responsibilities Strategically (But Know Your Limits)\n\nThis is where many new employees struggle. You want to prove yourself, show initiative, and demonstrate your worth—but there's a fine line between being ambitious and burning out within your first month.\n\nWhat to do:\n\n* Volunteer for projects that align with your skills and interests  \n* Say \"yes\" to opportunities that will help you learn and grow  \n* Be the person who shows up ready to contribute, not just observe  \n* Ask questions like \"How can I support this project?\" or \"Is there anything I can take off your plate?\"\n\nThe mistake to avoid: Don't say yes to *everything*. Some employers will (intentionally or not) take advantage of a new hire's enthusiasm by piling on responsibilities that aren't in your job description. This leads to burnout, resentment, and ultimately, poor performance.\n\n### *Listen to our episode on Spotify, [“How To Set Boundaries At Work Without Feeling Guilty”](https:\u002F\u002Fopen.spotify.com\u002Fepisode\u002F24uqiwnXWxzOiK4UdVVo8c?si=74c954c5bdcd47ec)*\n\n[Set boundaries early](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fhow-to-set-and-preserve-boundaries): If you're consistently asked to stay late or take on tasks well outside your role, have a polite conversation with your manager about priorities and workload distribution.\n\n### 4\\. Ask Questions—And Ask Them the Right Way\n\nLet's shatter a myth right now: asking questions does not make you look incompetent. In fact, the opposite is true. Thoughtful questions show you're engaged, processing information, and committed to doing things correctly.\n\nGood questions sound like:\n\n* \"Can you walk me through this process one more time? I want to make sure I understand it fully.\"  \n* \"What's the priority order for these three tasks?\"  \n* \"Who's the best person to ask about \\[specific system\u002Fprocess\\]?\"  \n* \"What does success look like in this role after 30\u002F60\u002F90 days?\"\n\nBad questions sound like:\n\n* \"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.\" (Too vague—be specific)  \n* Asking the same question multiple times because you didn't take notes  \n* Questions that could be easily answered by reviewing materials you've already been given\n\n#### [_Learn The 5 Expensive Mistakes I Made Building My Business (And Why I'll Never Make Them Again)_](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fexpensive-mistakes-building-business-founder-lessons)\n\nTiming matters: Save non-urgent questions for appropriate moments (like scheduled check-ins) rather than interrupting someone mid-task. Keep a running list so you can batch questions together.\n\n### 5\\. Never Apologize for Being New—Own Your Learning Curve\n\nThis is a psychological trap many young professionals fall into. You feel like you need to constantly remind everyone that you're new, inexperienced, or still learning. Stop doing this.\n\n![youngster-woke.jpg](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fyoungster_woke_fb2bccb396.jpg)\n\n#### Phrases to eliminate:\n\n* \"Sorry, I'm new...\"  \n* \"I know I don't have much experience, but...\"  \n* \"This might be a dumb question...\"  \n* \"I'm probably the youngest person here...\"\n\n#### What to say instead:\n\n* \"I'm still learning this system. Can you clarify...?\"  \n* \"Help me understand the reasoning behind this approach.\"  \n* \"I'd love your perspective on this.\"\n\nThe mindset shift: Your lack of experience is not a deficit—it's an asset. You bring fresh eyes, new ideas, up-to-date training, and genuine enthusiasm. Those are valuable qualities that many seasoned employees have lost along the way.\n\n### 6\\. Observe Before You Contribute\n\nDuring your first week or two, your primary job isn't to revolutionize the company—it's to listen, watch, and learn.\n\nWhat to observe:\n\n* How do people communicate? (Email? Slack? In-person check-ins?)  \n* What's the dress code in practice (not just in the handbook)?  \n* What time do most people arrive and leave?  \n* How do meetings run? Who speaks up? How are decisions made?  \n* What's the social dynamic? Are people friendly? Cliquey? Professional but distant?\n\nUnderstanding these unspoken rules will help you integrate smoothly without accidentally violating cultural norms.\n\n### 7\\. Build Relationships Strategically\n\nYour coworkers will be your greatest resource—not just for work advice, but for navigating company politics, understanding unwritten rules, and potentially advancing your career down the line.\n\nHow to build connections:\n\n* Say yes to lunch invitations (even if you're introverted and would rather eat alone)  \n* Attend optional company events when possible  \n* Make small talk before meetings start  \n* Ask colleagues about their roles, projects, and career paths  \n* Find a mentor or buddy—someone more experienced who can guide you\n\nStay neutral during your first few months. Don't get sucked into office gossip, take sides in conflicts, or form strong opinions about people you barely know. Observe first, engage later.\n\n### 8\\. Manage Your Time and Energy\n\nYour first job will be mentally and physically exhausting. You're using brain power all day, processing tons of new information, and probably feeling anxious about performance.\n\nSurvival strategies:\n\n* Block time for focused work (turn off notifications when possible)  \n* Allocate more time than you think you'll need for tasks initially  \n* Take your lunch break—seriously, step away from your desk  \n* Prioritize sleep and basic self-care (it affects your performance more than you realize)  \n* Learn to say \"I'll get back to you on this\" when you need time to think\n\n### 9\\. Understand the Metrics of Success\n\nWithin your first week, schedule a conversation with your manager to get crystal clear on expectations.\n\nQuestions to ask:\n\n* What does success look like in this role after 30\u002F60\u002F90 days?  \n* How will my performance be evaluated?  \n* What are the most important projects I should focus on?  \n* Who are the key stakeholders I'll be working with?  \n* What's the best way to communicate with you (email, Slack, in-person)?\n\n### *Read also: [5 Useful Questions To Ask Your Manager](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002F5-useful-questions-to-ask-your-manager)*\n\n### 10\\. Track Your Wins (Even the Small Ones)\n\nFrom day one, keep a \"wins document\" where you record your accomplishments, positive feedback, completed projects, and contributions.\n\nWhy this matters:\n\n* You'll need it for performance reviews  \n* It builds your confidence during tough days  \n* It helps you articulate your value when asking for raises or promotions  \n* It creates a portfolio of work you can reference in future job applications\n\n## Common First Job Mistakes to Avoid\n\n ❌ Trying to change everything immediately \\- You don't have the context yet  \n ❌ Staying silent in all meetings \\- Eventually, you need to contribute  \n ❌ Comparing your workplace to your college experience \\- They're completely different  \n ❌ Being glued to your phone \\- Put it on silent and stay present  \n ❌ Neglecting to build relationships \\- Your network is your net worth  \n ❌ Saying yes to everything and burning out \\- Pace yourself  \n ❌ Being too proud to ask for help \\- Asking questions is a sign of intelligence, not weakness\n\n## What to Expect in Your First 30-60-90 Days\n\n### First 30 Days: The Learning Phase\n\n* Focus on absorbing information  \n* Build basic relationships  \n* Master core responsibilities  \n* Ask lots of questions  \n* Make a positive first impression\n\n### Days 31-60: The Contributing Phase\n\n* Start taking on small projects independently  \n* Share initial ideas and insights  \n* Strengthen relationships with key colleagues  \n* Refine your understanding of your role  \n* Begin tracking your accomplishments\n\n### Days 61-90: The Establishing Phase\n\n* Demonstrate consistent performance  \n* Take initiative on projects  \n* Provide valuable input in meetings  \n* Set clear goals for the next quarter  \n* Prepare for your first formal review\n\nEvery beginning is difficult, and your first job will test you in ways you didn't expect. There will be days when you feel overwhelmed, incompetent, or unsure if you made the right choice.\n\nHere's what I need you to remember: Your value isn't determined by how much you already know—it's determined by how eager you are to learn, how well you adapt, and how consistently you show up ready to contribute.\n\nYou were hired because someone saw potential in you. Now it's your job to prove them right, one small win at a time.\n\nGive yourself permission to be a rookie. Embrace the learning curve. Ask the questions. Make the mistakes (you will, and that's okay). Build the relationships. And most importantly, trust that with time, effort, and the right mindset, you will not only survive your first job—you'll thrive in it.\n\n","the-ultimate-guide-for-rookies-at-work","first job advice, starting a new job, new employee tips, how to succeed in your first job, first day work tips, how to succeed in your first job, what to do on your first day at work","Starting your first job? Get expert first job advice on how new employees can avoid common mistakes, impress your boss, and build confidence at work.",{"id":303,"name":304,"alternativeText":52,"caption":52,"width":53,"height":54,"formats":305,"hash":326,"ext":57,"mime":60,"size":327,"url":328,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":329,"updatedAt":330},86,"youngster-working.jpg",{"large":306,"small":311,"medium":316,"thumbnail":321},{"ext":57,"url":307,"hash":308,"mime":60,"name":309,"path":62,"size":310,"width":64,"height":65},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flarge_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed.jpg","large_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed","large_youngster-working.jpg",69.6,{"ext":57,"url":312,"hash":313,"mime":60,"name":314,"path":62,"size":315,"width":71,"height":72},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fsmall_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed.jpg","small_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed","small_youngster-working.jpg",26.02,{"ext":57,"url":317,"hash":318,"mime":60,"name":319,"path":62,"size":320,"width":78,"height":79},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fmedium_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed.jpg","medium_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed","medium_youngster-working.jpg",45.87,{"ext":57,"url":322,"hash":323,"mime":60,"name":324,"path":62,"size":325,"width":85,"height":86},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed.jpg","thumbnail_youngster_working_c2e61c52ed","thumbnail_youngster-working.jpg",8.5,"youngster_working_c2e61c52ed",126.31,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fyoungster_working_c2e61c52ed.jpg","2021-01-09T10:27:19.152Z","2021-01-09T10:27:19.171Z",{"id":6,"name":7,"slug":8,"createdAt":285,"updatedAt":286,"publishedAt":96},{"id":14,"name":176,"slug":177,"instagram":178,"facebook":179,"bio":180,"createdAt":181,"updatedAt":182,"publishedAt":183,"linkedIn":184,"avatar":333},{"id":14,"name":186,"alternativeText":187,"caption":187,"width":112,"height":112,"formats":334,"hash":194,"ext":115,"mime":118,"size":195,"url":196,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":197,"updatedAt":198},{"thumbnail":335},{"ext":115,"url":190,"hash":191,"mime":118,"name":192,"path":62,"size":193,"width":121,"height":121},"https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Fyoungster_working_c2e61c52ed.jpg",{"id":338,"title":339,"createdAt":340,"updatedAt":341,"publishedAt":342,"content":343,"slug":344,"coffees":14,"seo_title":339,"keywords":345,"seo_desc":346,"featuredImage":347,"category":376,"author":377,"img":381},42,"Angelina Jolie: From Hollywood Rebel to Global Humanitarian","2021-01-08T19:25:46.857Z","2025-12-13T22:15:33.816Z","2021-01-08T19:25:49.070Z","There's a version of Angelina Jolie's story that reads like tabloid headlines: the wild child, the vials of blood, the marriages, [the scandals](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Flights-camera-chaos-4-hollywood-scandals). That version exists, and it's not entirely wrong. But it's profoundly incomplete.\n\nThe fuller story is of a woman who transformed herself—publicly, messily, and genuinely—from a self-destructive teenager into one of the most influential humanitarians in the world. A woman who used her fame not just to open doors for herself, but to shine light into refugee camps most people would rather forget exist. A woman who, when faced with an 87% chance of developing breast cancer, made the radical decision to share her preventive surgery with the world, potentially saving countless lives in the process.\n\nAngelina Jolie is complicated. She's made mistakes, some of them very public. But what makes her genuinely inspirational isn't perfection—it's the way she's consistently chosen to use her privilege and platform for something larger than herself.\n\n## A Difficult Beginning\n\nAngelina Jolie Voight was born on June 4, 1975, in Los Angeles. Her parents were both actors—her father Jon Voight, an [Oscar winner](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fwomen-oscar-winners), and her mother Marcheline Bertrand, a lesser-known actress who largely gave up her career to raise her children. When Angelina was just a year old, her father left the family for another woman. The abandonment would shape her for decades.\n\nGrowing up in the shadow of her father's fame while feeling his absence created a complicated relationship with [Hollywood](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Ffavorite-old-hollywood-movies) from the start. Her mother, whom Angelina has described as the most important person in her life, raised her and her brother James in more modest circumstances than their father's celebrity might suggest.\n\nBy her own account, Jolie's teenage years were difficult. She was bullied at school for her appearance—her full lips and thin frame made her a target. She began wearing black, experimenting with self-harm, and struggling with depression. At 14, she moved in with a boyfriend. By her late teens, she was using drugs. \"I went through heavier, darker times and I survived them,\" she later said. \"I didn't die young. So I'm very lucky.\"\n\nThis period of her life is often sensationalized, but it's important context for understanding who she became. Jolie didn't grow up protected from pain. She grew up swimming in it—and eventually learned to channel it into something else entirely.\n\n## Finding Herself Through Acting\n\nActing, perhaps unsurprisingly given her lineage, became Jolie's way out. She trained at the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute and began landing roles in the mid-1990s. Her breakthrough came with the 1998 HBO film \"Gia,\" in which she played Gia Carangi, a supermodel who died of AIDS-related complications. The role earned her a Golden Globe and showcased her willingness to take on dark, complex characters.\n\n![jolie-photo.jpg](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fjolie_photo_95f5af0a18.jpg)\n\nBut it was \"Girl, Interrupted\" in 1999 that changed everything. Playing Lisa Rowe, a charismatic sociopath in a psychiatric hospital, Jolie delivered a performance so magnetic that she won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. She was 24 years old. In her acceptance speech, she declared her love for her brother (they had arrived holding hands), fueling tabloid speculation that would follow her for years.\n\nThe early 2000s saw her become an action star with \"Lara Croft: Tomb Raider,\" a role that made her one of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood. But something happened during the filming of that movie that would prove far more significant than the box office returns: the production took her to Cambodia, and what she saw there changed the trajectory of her life.\n\n## The Work That Defines Her\n\nIn Cambodia, Jolie witnessed poverty and the aftermath of conflict on a scale she had never imagined. She returned home different. \"I just felt so empty,\" she later explained. \"I didn't know what I was doing with my life.\" She began educating herself about humanitarian crises and reached out to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR).\n\nIn 2001, at age 26, Jolie was appointed a UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador. Some celebrities accept such titles and make a few appearances. Jolie did something different: she showed up. Over the next two decades, she would complete more than 60 field missions to refugee camps and conflict zones in over 30 countries. She visited Darfur during the active genocide. She met with refugees in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and dozens of other countries. She went to places cameras don't usually go—and crucially, she went when cameras weren't watching.\n\nIn 2012, she was elevated to the position of Special Envoy, a role that gave her direct access to senior UNHCR [leadership](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fwhy-women-are-underrepresented-in-leadership-positions) and expanded her responsibilities to include representing the agency at the diplomatic level. She has addressed the United Nations Security Council, testified before the U.S. Congress, and met with world leaders to advocate for refugee rights.\n\nThe cynical interpretation—that it's all publicity—doesn't hold up to scrutiny. Jolie has donated millions of her own money to humanitarian causes. She has personally funded schools, clean water initiatives, and conservation projects. One-third of her income from each film has reportedly gone to charity. Most importantly, she has consistently used her platform to draw attention to crises the world would prefer to ignore.\n\n\"You can either spend your time thinking about how empty everything is,\" she has said, \"or you can try to do something.\" She chose to do something.\n\n## Fighting Sexual Violence in Conflict\n\nIn 2012, Jolie partnered with former British Foreign Secretary William Hague to launch the Preventing Sexual Violence in Conflict Initiative (PSVI). The campaign aimed to end the use of rape as a weapon of war—a practice that has devastated communities in conflicts from Bosnia to the Democratic Republic of Congo to Syria.\n\nIn 2014, they co-hosted the Global Summit to End Sexual Violence in Conflict in London, the largest gathering ever held on the issue. Representatives from 123 countries attended. The summit resulted in a landmark international protocol for documenting and investigating sexual violence in conflict zones.\n\nThis wasn't celebrity photo-op activism. It was substantive policy work that changed how the international community approaches wartime sexual violence. The protocol developed from this initiative has since been used to train investigators and document crimes in multiple countries.\n\n## The Decision That Sparked a Movement\n\nIn May 2013, Jolie published an op-ed in The New York Times titled \"My Medical Choice\" that would have an impact far beyond Hollywood. She revealed that she carried a mutation in the BRCA1 gene, which dramatically increased her risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer—the same cancers that had killed her mother, grandmother, and aunt.\n\nHer doctors estimated her risk of breast cancer at 87%. Rather than wait, she chose to undergo a preventive double mastectomy, reducing her risk to under 5%. Two years later, she had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed after early signs of possible cancer were detected.\n\nThe decision to share this publicly was extraordinary. In an industry that profits from female bodies and where actresses face enormous pressure around appearance, Jolie openly discussed removing her breasts and reproductive organs. She did it, she said, because knowledge is power—and because she hoped other women facing similar decisions would know they weren't alone.\n\nThe impact was immediate and measurable. Researchers documented what they called \"The Angelina Effect\"—a dramatic spike in genetic testing for BRCA mutations following her announcement. Studies showed that referrals for genetic counseling doubled. Awareness of hereditary breast cancer increased significantly. Medical experts credited her with potentially saving lives by encouraging early detection and preventive care.\n\n\"I do not feel any less of a woman,\" she wrote. \"I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.\" For countless women facing similar decisions, those words mattered.\n\n## Behind the Camera\n\nAs Jolie has grown older, she has increasingly moved behind the camera. Her directorial debut, \"In the Land of Blood and Honey\" (2011), was a war drama about the Bosnian War that she wrote and directed. It wasn't a safe choice—it was a difficult, subtitled film about ethnic cleansing and wartime rape, shot in Serbo-Croatian with local actors.\n\n![angelina jolie inspirational](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fangelina_jolie_attends_the_couture_press_conference_during_news_photo_1760103811_91a453ba3c.pjpeg)\n_[Photo](https:\u002F\u002Fshare.google\u002FvMwxv50Ao5yDguaDK)_\n\nShe followed it with \"Unbroken\" (2014), the true story of Olympic athlete Louis Zamperini, who survived a plane crash, 47 days adrift at sea, and years in Japanese prisoner-of-war camps. The film was both a commercial success and a demonstration that she could helm a major studio production.\n\n\"First They Killed My Father\" (2017), based on the memoir of Cambodian human rights activist Loung Ung, was perhaps her most personal directorial project. Set during the Khmer Rouge regime, it was filmed in Cambodia—the country that first opened her eyes to humanitarian work and where she adopted her first son. The film was Cambodia's official submission for the Academy Awards.\n\nHer directorial choices consistently reflect her humanitarian interests: stories about war, survival, human rights, and resilience. She's not interested in making safe entertainment; she's interested in telling stories that matter.\n\n## Building a Family\n\nJolie is mother to six children—three adopted internationally and three biological. Her approach to adoption was deeply connected to her humanitarian work. She adopted Maddox from Cambodia in 2002, Zahara from Ethiopia in 2005, and Pax from Vietnam in 2007\\. Her biological children—Shiloh and twins Knox and Vivienne—were born in 2006 and 2008 respectively, during her relationship with Brad Pitt.\n\nShe has spoken openly about wanting her children to understand both privilege and responsibility—to see the world beyond Hollywood and to engage with global issues. Her children have accompanied her on humanitarian missions and grown up with an awareness of global inequality that few celebrity kids experience.\n\nHer divorce from Pitt, filed in 2016, was painful and public. The custody battle dragged on for years. Through it, Jolie largely refused to engage publicly, focusing instead on her children and her work. It's a reminder that her life hasn't been charmed—she's faced real struggles, publicly and privately, and has had to navigate them while the world watched.\n\n## What We Can Learn From Her\n\nAngelina Jolie's story isn't inspirational because she's perfect. It's inspirational because she isn't—and she's done remarkable things anyway.\n\nShe shows us that your past doesn't have to determine your future. The troubled teenager who experimented with drugs and self-harm became a woman who has addressed the UN Security Council and changed international policy on sexual violence. Transformation is possible, even from difficult beginnings.\n\nShe demonstrates what it looks like to use privilege purposefully. Many people with her level of fame and resources do nothing meaningful with them. Jolie has consistently chosen to leverage her platform for causes larger than herself—not occasionally, but as a central focus of her life.\n\nShe modeled vulnerability as strength. Sharing her preventive surgeries publicly—in an industry that punishes [women for aging](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002F6-habits-aging), let alone for removing body parts associated with femininity—was an act of courage that helped millions of women feel less alone in their own medical decisions.\n\nAnd she proves that evolution is possible at any stage of life. The Angelina Jolie of 1999, accepting her Oscar with blood in a vial around her neck, seems like a different person from the Angelina Jolie testifying before Congress about refugee policy. Both are her. People can grow.\n\n## In Her Own Words\n\n*\"Without pain, there would be no suffering. Without suffering, we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows; without it, there is no way of life.\"*\n\n*\"If you don't get out of the box you've been raised in, you won't understand how much bigger the world is.\"*\n\n*\"I've been reckless, but I'm not a rebel without a cause.\"*\n\n*\"We have a choice about how we take what happens to us in our life and whether or not we allow it to turn us.\"*\n\n*\"Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.\"*\n\n## Essential Viewing\n\n**Girl, Interrupted (1999):** The Oscar-winning performance that showcased her extraordinary talent. Her portrayal of Lisa Rowe remains one of the most memorable supporting performances of its era.\n\n![angelina jolie and her son madox](https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002FGetty_Images_51284464_ea4e5f3de1.jpg)\n_[Photo](https:\u002F\u002Fshare.google\u002FzfOBoEpb8LyTyaKCu)_\n\n**A Mighty Heart (2007):** Jolie plays Mariane Pearl, the wife of journalist Daniel Pearl who was kidnapped and murdered in Pakistan. A powerful, restrained performance that demonstrated her range beyond action roles.\n\n**Changeling (2008):** Directed by Clint Eastwood, this true story earned her an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. She plays a mother whose son goes missing and who is then told the child returned to her isn't actually hers.\n\n**First They Killed My Father (2017):** Her directorial work at its most personal. Essential for understanding the connection between her art and her humanitarian concerns.\n\n## Frequently Asked Questions\n\n### What humanitarian work has Angelina Jolie done?\n\nJolie served as UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador from 2001 to 2012, then was elevated to Special Envoy. She has completed over 60 field missions to more than 30 countries, donated millions to refugee causes, and co-founded the Preventing Sexual Violence in Conflict Initiative with former UK Foreign Secretary William Hague.\n\n### Why did Angelina Jolie have a preventive mastectomy?\n\nJolie carries a mutation in the BRCA1 gene that gave her an estimated 87% risk of developing breast cancer. She chose a preventive double mastectomy in 2013 to reduce her risk to under 5%. She later had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed as well. Her mother, grandmother, and aunt all died from cancer.\n\n### How many children does Angelina Jolie have?\n\nJolie has six children: three adopted (Maddox from Cambodia, Zahara from Ethiopia, and Pax from Vietnam) and three biological (Shiloh and twins Knox and Vivienne) with Brad Pitt.\n\n### What films has Angelina Jolie directed?\n\nJolie has directed several films including \"In the Land of Blood and Honey\" (2011), \"Unbroken\" (2014), \"By the Sea\" (2015), and \"First They Killed My Father\" (2017). Her directorial work often focuses on themes of war, survival, and human rights.\n\n### What awards has Angelina Jolie won?\n\nJolie won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for \"Girl, Interrupted\" (1999) and received a Best Actress nomination for \"Changeling\" (2008). She has won three Golden Globe Awards and received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award from the Academy in 2013\\.\n\n### What is the 'Angelina Effect'?\n\nThe 'Angelina Effect' refers to the documented increase in genetic testing for BRCA mutations following Jolie's 2013 op-ed about her preventive mastectomy. Studies showed that referrals for genetic counseling doubled after her announcement, potentially saving lives through earlier detection and prevention.\n\n## Related Reading\n\n### *More stories of remarkable women:*\n\n[Margaret Thatcher: From Grocer's Daughter to the Iron Lady](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Finspirational-margaret-thatcher)\n\n[The Fascinating Life of Frida Kahlo](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Finspirational-frida-kahlo)  \n\n[Inspirational Women: Meryl Streep](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Finspirational-women-maryl-streep)\n\n[The Global Fight for Reproductive Rights](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Fglobal-reproductive-rights)\n\n[Why Is Taylor Swift Inspirational? Career Lessons from Her Success](https:\u002F\u002Fwww.workingal.com\u002Farticles\u002Finspirational-taylor-swift)\n","inspirational-women-angelina-jolie","Angelina Jolie, inspirational women, Angelina Jolie humanitarian, UNHCR ambassador, Angelina Jolie BRCA, women in film, celebrity activism, Angelina Jolie biography","From troubled teen to Oscar winner to UN Special Envoy—Angelina Jolie's journey proves that reinvention is possible. Discover what makes her truly inspirational.",{"id":348,"name":349,"alternativeText":52,"caption":52,"width":53,"height":54,"formats":350,"hash":371,"ext":57,"mime":60,"size":372,"url":373,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":374,"updatedAt":375},83,"angelina-jolie.jpg",{"large":351,"small":356,"medium":361,"thumbnail":366},{"ext":57,"url":352,"hash":353,"mime":60,"name":354,"path":62,"size":355,"width":64,"height":65},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Flarge_angelina_jolie_40390ae314.jpg","large_angelina_jolie_40390ae314","large_angelina-jolie.jpg",64.77,{"ext":57,"url":357,"hash":358,"mime":60,"name":359,"path":62,"size":360,"width":71,"height":72},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fsmall_angelina_jolie_40390ae314.jpg","small_angelina_jolie_40390ae314","small_angelina-jolie.jpg",17.78,{"ext":57,"url":362,"hash":363,"mime":60,"name":364,"path":62,"size":365,"width":78,"height":79},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fmedium_angelina_jolie_40390ae314.jpg","medium_angelina_jolie_40390ae314","medium_angelina-jolie.jpg",36.24,{"ext":57,"url":367,"hash":368,"mime":60,"name":369,"path":62,"size":370,"width":85,"height":86},"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fthumbnail_angelina_jolie_40390ae314.jpg","thumbnail_angelina_jolie_40390ae314","thumbnail_angelina-jolie.jpg",5.85,"angelina_jolie_40390ae314",133.52,"https:\u002F\u002Fworkingal.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com\u002Fangelina_jolie_40390ae314.jpg","2021-01-08T19:15:06.785Z","2021-01-08T19:15:06.805Z",{"id":22,"name":23,"slug":24,"createdAt":173,"updatedAt":174,"publishedAt":96},{"id":6,"name":98,"slug":99,"instagram":100,"facebook":101,"bio":102,"createdAt":103,"updatedAt":104,"publishedAt":105,"linkedIn":106,"avatar":378},{"id":108,"name":109,"alternativeText":110,"caption":111,"width":112,"height":112,"formats":379,"hash":123,"ext":115,"mime":118,"size":124,"url":125,"previewUrl":62,"provider":90,"provider_metadata":62,"createdAt":126,"updatedAt":126},{"thumbnail":380},{"ext":115,"url":116,"hash":117,"mime":118,"name":119,"path":62,"size":120,"width":121,"height":121,"sizeInBytes":122},"https:\u002F\u002Fmedia.workingal.com\u002Fangelina_jolie_40390ae314.jpg",{"pagination":383},{"start":384,"limit":385,"total":338},0,5]